Eli Schwartz

“Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust ” by Eli Schwartz

Submitted to Contest #279

Warning: Contains allusions to death and suicide as well as unspecified religious beliefs. Page 613 of 2012My first recognition of consciousness coincided with the last gasping breath of the first human to walk this earth.  In the millisecond difference between my moment of consciousness and the time it took for the human to open its eyes, I had already acquired the life of every person who would ever walk this earth. I remember how he woke clutching his chest, long matted hair covering his wide nose and lips, red berry juice staining ...

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“Potential” by Eli Schwartz

TW: Domestic Violence, Alusion to mental health crisis. I watch my reflection in the glass carefully. For I am not sure who exactly I am looking at. Am I looking at a second grader ripe with potential, a math grade ahead already? Or maybe a sixth grader trapped in expectation of a life they have grown to hate. Hate is a word I’ve been raised to avoid. Even now it feels too heavy. To important. But I hate what I am looking at now. I am looking at a freshman born with too much love.  “You treat strangers better than me. People off th...

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“The Ivory Hour” by Eli Schwartz

TW: Allusion to sexual violence, violence, and crime The Ivory Hour had all types of people walking its halls. The bar often held the most secrets, this was true of today. Sitting at the bar were two people filled with deception. The man sat with a wedding ring hidden away in his back pocket. The woman sat with the despair of losing the love of her life, her grief was hidden with a smile and a low-cut blouse. Secrets. They had met in the street, turning back to look at each other before conversation arose. They quickly found the nearest ba...

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“Shapes” by Eli Schwartz

TW: Family Death, Grief “It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark.” I think about that quote now as I lay in bed, looking at the black ceiling. I had to do an essay on the Match Girl once, explain why Hans Christan Anderson would write it, and have the imagery meant. But, I don’t think of that essay or the grade I got, I think of my winter with my father. We sat in the cold, the snow underneath us and the sun high above us. I remember us waiting, my father telling me “A sunset in the winter? That’s the most beautif...

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“A Mirrors Body” by Eli Schwartz

TW: Transphobia, Indication of Suicide, Struggling Mental Health The girl in the photo staring up at me doesn’t match the person I’ve become.  She stares ahead with glassy blue eyes and a smile drawn onto her face. Blond hair frames her face with choppy bangs covering her forehead. I remember vividly cutting those horrible bangs in my bathroom. I stare at the girl with bangs and she stares back, a question in her dead eyes.  She curls around me and screams, she screams for never getting to live. I hear her scream until she quie...

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“Coffee cups and Shirts” by Eli Schwartz

Her side of the room was bare when I walked into the dorm with two coffees in hand. The only things left were eight shirts laid on the bed.  “You're dropping out?” That was my first question. Which was rather useless because it was already clear she was.  “What does it look like?” She sighed as she stuffed a stained shirt in a suitcase. “What does it matter to you anyway?” This time her eyes meet mine.  I locked her gaze for a second, before darting my eyes away quickly. “You're my roommate…” I say quietly. “Not anymor...

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“Silent Dinner” by Eli Schwartz

Tw- Grief and heavy topics (Family Disapproval and dead-beat dad)Walking is easy, running is harder, and talking in the dark seems impossible.A stream of consciousness will run for all eternity, weaving through heads emptying from the mouth, and collecting in quiet places to grow from whispers into words.Darkness.Darkness attracts all the medium thoughts of life. Darkness sits at kitchen tables filled with food and the emptying of minds.Darkness sits at kitchen tables like mine, tables quiet with food, and the only opening of the mouth happe...

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“Hungry Grief” by Eli Schwartz

TW: Grief, struggling mental health, description of death. The house was cold and dark. Sarah hadn’t paid the lights this month and the last time we had heat was 4 months ago in the winter. I knew I would have to scrape together the money to light the house. Sarah quit her job 3 months and 29 days ago and hasn’t left the house since. I knew I should have pity but I was 15 and paying for the lights by myself, I didn’t have time for pity. I was sitting on a small loveseat in the corner of the living room reading a book I wasn’t interested in...

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“Football Fields” by Eli Schwartz

Tw- Suicide, Suicidal thoughts Dear Calliope, I’ve always had a pretty uneventful life, my entire childhood was completely ordinary. I was an only child, I had a dog named Bailey, and I always got A's. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and went to one of the best colleges in my state, Idaho State. I graduated with a business degree. I started working with a banking company. I check payments and make sure they’re secure. It's small but it pays the bills. I see potential waiting to blossom, I can and will rise the ranks. I have worked in t...

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