Daniel Barnhart

“I Really Wish She Wasn't A Lesbian” by Daniel Barnhart

                  I Really Wish She Wasn’t A Lesbian           Ever since my dad took me to see Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me, I became burdened with a high sex drive. Austin Powers with his crooked teeth and hairy chest. He slept with the sexy Russian spy Ivanna Humpalot and he still went home to Cameron Diaz. What a guy! My dad should have realized he had a pr...

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“A little monkey business” by Daniel Barnhart

A LITTLE MONKEY BUSINESS Inside the George Washington Hospital emergency room, I opened my eyes for the first time. It was as if I were stepping out of some primordial haze. How did I get here? The last thing I remembered was that I was on my honeymoon with Jane. Looking down at all the wires connected to me, I wondered, did we get into a car accid...

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“Winnie's Letter” by Daniel Barnhart

Submitted to Contest #141

Winnie's letter John made a policy to never respond to the authors complaints after he gave them a negative review in the magazine. When he was a young journalist, he would make it a point to respond to every gripe, complaint or editorial mistake. Nothing he said would ever seem to calm anyone down. Heavy Is the Man Who Wears the Crown was a trusted m...

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“I never even told her I loved her” by Daniel Barnhart

Submitted to Contest #138

                                               I Never Even Told Her I Loved Her.Monica is an up-and-coming disabled comedian. She is in her late 20s. She has multiple sclerosis. She uses a power chair to get around. She is on a ventilator. She has palsy in her face and has a constant resting bitch fa...

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“THE TURING POINT BY DANIEL BARNHART” by Daniel Barnhart

Submitted to Contest #82

n the beginning there was light. That's how I start off the telling of peace and prosperity for my time. It was a time of discovery and innovation. All the best and brightest minds gathered in Silicon Valley to attempt to solve the problem of humanity. I believe that we gave up on ourselves with the invention of the computer. The computer promised a brave New World. The computer could be programmable. Just like...

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