Brynn Helena

“Gaycation” by Brynn Helena

“How’d it go with that girl? What was her name? Amanda?” July is asking as he sits there in the grass with Patrick, passing back and forth a beer. They were tasked with watching the kids in the pool during July’s younger sister’s birthday party, and they were doing that, sort of. Patrick took a swig from the PBR and sighed, leaning back against the tree they were sitting beneath. He rubbed at his scruff, which was one of Patrick’s tics that told you he didn’t wanna talk about this. He never really wanted to talk about this, as in,&...

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“Kept Woman” by Brynn Helena

Why was she always saying that?Get me out of here.You’d think someone would be grateful for being held, for being fed and sheltered and looked after. But that’s all she ever said; get me out of here, as she clawed at the walls until her nails chipped and bled. I patched her up afterwards, kissing each of her cuticles before I wrapped them up in bandages. Her blood was always so warm on my lips. She smelled like pennies and sweat and the perfume I’d bought for her. It was floral and sweet, like a wedding. I could have gotten high on her ...

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“Peaches” by Brynn Helena

Submitted to Contest #280

Tennis camp was fun, but honestly, I just did it for Charlie. My forehand was shit and I couldn’t serve even if I tried, but she was there so I begged to go every summer. Those summers live in my mind in a scrapbook covered in grass stains and orange juice. These dewy memories that sit in my chest like burning coals, keeping me warm even when we’re apart. It’s unbearable really, being apart from her, always has been. But college. But life, I suppose. I just wish we could go back. Jo?She’s offering me a peach, as she presses her thu...

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“A Losing Champion” by Brynn Helena

“Babe. I’m being so serious right now; I don’t have it,” Andrew is saying desperately over the phone while he digs through his luggage for—what—the fourth time? His hotel room looked like a damn bomb hit it. He was sure by then he could give anyone a full inventory of everything inside. Ten shirts of varying niceness; approximately six polos, one wrinkled button up, and three sleep shirts. One of them was his own merch, arm holes cut extra-long. Seven or so pairs of boxers, all black. Ten pairs of mismatched socks, one pa...

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“The Holy Trinity” by Brynn Helena

I was nine. "Your body belongs to God," I heard my father tell me while I stood there, tears streaming down my face because I had to wear my stupid church suit again. It was itchy and too big in some places while pinching me in others. Even a nine-year-old has days where sitting in a room for an hour feels impossible. Just existing, felt like a penance for something. If my body belonged to God, what about me belonged to me?"God wants you to wear your church suit, okay? You must look your best," My mother said next, as she was strai...

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“A Wicked Walk” by Brynn Helena

Submitted to Contest #277

Safety starts to feel like a myth when you’re selling your body like it’s a hanger for a clothing rack. This is me, am I good enough for you? Are my legs thin enough, or do they rub together too much when I walk? Do you like my eyes, my chin? Should I swing my hips or not? Do I have a boring face, an average body? I’ve even been told I was too pretty before. A pat on the hand, the way a child gets a bandage for a wound that nobody can see. Sorry, we’re looking for uglier girls; you understand.  No, I don’t. The music is pumping in ...

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“Sex and Skittles” by Brynn Helena

Submitted to Contest #275

Sure, I’m an addict. But aren’t we all?That there is every sex addict’s favorite string of words. Go to a sex addicts anonymous meeting and you’ll see. I’ve heard them say it millions of times, maybe billions, I couldn’t be sure. Even I had said it. Even I found myself still saying it around mixed company, even though sex addiction was one of those things you could get away with. Sex addiction is like being a bisexual woman (try being both), people aren’t going to look at you much differently once they know, they’ll just start picturing what...

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“(Not What I Was) Expecting” by Brynn Helena

Submitted to Contest #275

“You’re not the weed girl,” I said as I stood in the second-floor girls’ bathroom with my brows stitching together. It was my usual third period trip to the bathroom on a Thursday to pick up my weed, and instead of seeing Miranda, I was staring at what looked to be a senior with mascara running down her cheeks. I was a junior, so just from her face I couldn’t place her name. She was blonde and tall and looked like her perfume was called “Bubblegum Kiss” or something like that. I immediately wanted nothing to do with her, or her teary eyes, b...

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“From Rags to Rich Girls” by Brynn Helena

"We're just so glad you two have become so close. Lucy has never been so well behaved," the father said, dropping his voice slightly on the back half. I could tell Lucy still heard it though from the way she smirked and popped her gum from behind them in the kitchen. My gum was in her mouth, God, when had she swung that?Suddenly, I couldn't hear anything Lucy's parents were saying to me as I watched the red-headed teen girl leaned over the kitchen counter in those little shorts... that see-though tank. No bra. She was blowing another bubble,...

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“Boning ” by Brynn Helena

Life is unpredictable, that's all I know for sure.Had you asked me who I'd be ramming on top of my biology teacher's desk during Homecoming, I definitely wouldn't have guessed the same girl who threw up on me in kindergarten. The same girl I’ve lived across the street from since I was two. I probably would have said I'd never do such a thing, but we humans tend to surprise ourselves, I've learned that, too.She’s underneath me cursing, head thrown back, sweat glistening on her forehead as she tries to keep her dress hiked up so I can see unde...

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“An Examination of Desire” by Brynn Helena

The sight of him, his scent, his voice, his hair… everything so intensely tempting that I often found myself biting my lip as soon as he crossed my path. Shamefully, even when Lena was with me. “Isn’t he in your writing workshop class?” She’d asked me. Or at least that’s what I had thought I heard. I was busy staring at him, taking in every inch of him. The way the hem of his jeans were lightly frayed, his converse scuffed and on their last legs. His thighs, pressing against the denim, his hand resting on his belt buckle. His t-shirt tu...

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“Lillian” by Brynn Helena

Submitted to Contest #233

My father was an exorcist. And his father before him, and his father before him. My dad died when I was ten years old. That's when I decided I wouldn't end up like him. Never at home with his children, enraptured by the idea that he was a savior. A god. I thought it was a huge, steaming load of shit. An excuse for him to spend years hanging us out to dry, leaving our mother to scrounge for ways to feed us, always returning with a new perfume on his collar. So, when I graduated high school, I went straight to college and studied law. I b...

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“Colors ” by Brynn Helena

"You love changing the subject," Mika commented, lying at the foot of the bed, her bareness covered only by a riskily placed ivory sheet. Her midnight blue hair fell around her face in flawless curls, catching the moonlight from the window and shining like a lake in early winter. Her eyes flickered back to me, one hazel, one blue, and I found it hard to hold her gaze. I didn't. She giggled softly and I knew she had caught my blush even in the low light."I wasn't changing the subject, I was just curious..." I defended weakly, not offering the...

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“Cole” by Brynn Helena

It was bliss.Fifty stage lights burning down onto the seven of us, and three hundred people looking on, waiting to see what we'd do. The biggest crowd we ever performed in front of, the anticipation palpable on both sides. We wore those baggy blue cargos and white button-ups topped with black suit jackets. You told me how stupid you thought we looked three minutes before we walked out, but secretly I bet you thought we looked cool. I blamed your dig on nerves. I don't know why you would have been nervous though, because that night you comple...

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“Graduating” by Brynn Helena

[A Continuation of 'When It Hits You']It's the things we fight tooth and nail for that always teach us the biggest lessons. I'll be honest, I'd never had a boyfriend before Jake. Exactly zero experience to speak of. So, when the reality that I had gotten my way really started to sink in, it came with some of the strongest self-doubt I'd ever felt.I remember sitting on his porch steps three weeks after our fight, dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a polo I'd borrowed from his closet, with my arms crossed. The sun was setting, and a summer ...

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