One More Spin

You know one really should not go to the casino to make money. With that in mind, I must say, that I don’t always follow my own advice.  Gambling to me is a mixture of winning and losing with the same pleasurable outcome. One trip to the casino in March of 2012, it brought me great joy.    

               All of it came about at a time when my bills were getting out of control because of how I had spent extra money on my new house. It didn’t take a year after my purchase, and the first thing to go was my water heater. After around a thousand dollars or more, it was done.    Unfortunately, I needed a way to finagle my expenses by paying bills at different times. It was working until I got caught in my own scheme and only had $200 before the end of the month.

               Now, naturally, a sensible person would just find odd jobs to work out one’s financial issues. Oh no, not me, I have to do something extreme and bizarre by taking the last of my money and gamble every last cent.

               At the time, there were buses that one could get to the casino from various locations.  I knew of one such location from a friend who went up there on a regular basis.  This time, I went alone.  I sat alone. As I recall, I wasn’t agitated or nervous at the time. I was determined. There was a feeling which reminded  me that I was not doing the right thing in God’s eyes, but having a feeling of accomplishing a goal.  Sounds strange, I know, but I knew something was going to happen.  

               As I sat thinking on the bus to the casino, I was in a trance. The miles seemed to fly by without a thought, suddenly, I was pulling up to the doors of the casino. Before leaving the bus, I silently prayed, “Lord, I know everyone on this bus wants to win big, but I need to really hit it big tonight.” There was a sense of peace at that moment.   While in my state of tranquility,  I really should have been edgy and nervous since I was literally putting all of my money into machines that were just gobbling them up like a child who wants more candy. Instead, I felt assured and couldn’t wait to find that one machine that would give me my happiness.  

Some people stay at a slot machine for hours. I move around after 10 or 15 minutes. Also, I bet the lowest denomination.   It is a known fact that if your bet higher than you are most likely to win the maximum amount.  Except, I only had $200, and I knew that my money would go in five minutes with or without a large win.  Using my theory of playing multiple machines with the hopes of finding the right one, I slowly lost most of my money. 

To say that I felt like a fool was the least of my worries. I knew I was a fool. I had nearly lost all of my money. So much for having that feeling of assurance and tranquility.  Most people would have found something to eat with the little amount that was still in their possession. No. I had to keep trying.

Walking like a zombie, I found a machine, I looked up at one of the statues looming over the machine. I put in the final seventeen dollars that I had. On the first hit, I had $138.  Without realizing that was actually a recovery and a sign to go home, I kept playing.  

The machine that I was playing had a bonus that gave you more money if you got three or more in a spin. The bonus was a mini slot machine that once certain figures or numbers lined up, it would give you a certain number for being lucky enough to get them on the same line or in a diamond shape. 

As I played on this machine, I had decided to play five times and go home. Well, as you have probably figured out, nothing happened after those five times. So, again, I didn’t do the sensible thing. I kept playing. So, I said to myself, five more times.

It was probably on the fifteenth time that it happened. Yes. Although I was completely foolish and irresponsible with my money. It paid off.  The bonus gave me four mini slot machines. The first one gave me $2. The second one had a diamond shape. It gave me nothing.

On the third bonus, I watched with anticipation mixed with tiredness and fear. What would the outcome be of this spinning bonus. The first symbol was the best one to get. Again I hoped. The second symbol matched the first. Only one more spin on the mini slot bonus. With great joy and happiness, I should have screamed. Instead, I just stared at it. The final symbol matched the first and the second.  This meant that I had won. I should have jumped, screamed, and gone completely crazy. No. I was so tired from worrying about my lack of self-control that I just sat there in disbelief.

Finally, a nice elderly lady brought me back to reality. She said, “Well, it looks like you won something.” I turned to her with a smile on my face. I told her, “I can’t believe I have just won.” I was completely calm and unemotional.  She stayed with me until I was paid out. 

After reading this, most people might find my mannerism odd at winning close to $5000. However, I felt more like I had been given a second chance to do the right thing with my money. That I should have not put myself in such a position to gamble every last cent in hopes of something better.

Relief and mercy were my gifts on that day.   Have I returned to the same casino? I am afraid and glad that I have. The casino has given me winnings and losings both great and small mixed with the  pleasure of just escaping reality and being around other people.  My final words are to just be sensible with your money. Luck is what it is luck. You can not pray for it. It just happens when you need it the most in your life.

Juanita Kay Truelove