Bloody Miranda

Written in response to: Write about a plan that goes wrong, for the better.... view prompt

13 comments

Drama

This story contains sensitive content

 T/W: sexual references, subtle violence

The house is located in the middle of nowhere. Its exterior is a bland color and the roof is a gray wood with a chimney jutting out. It has a veranda with two chairs sitting across each other. Clouds overhead are still as a girl opens the door violently. 

She looks from side to side before running straight across. She leaps over the pointed fence and in the process, scrapes her knee. She collapses on the grass before picking herself up and running. A rush of adrenaline shoots through her as she disappears into the forest. 

*

Vince Circo. A 35-year-old man whose only love is money. A typical rich man whose only main interest is picking up underage girls at the Strip in Las Vegas. Then later taking them to his mansion which is located in the middle of a forest. He has dark brown hair and stubble. Hazel bluish eyes with a large build. He has his dad, Enrique who was once a warm man who loved him. But after his mom, Jane, died his dad succumbed to drinking and emotionally abused Vince to be the man he is now. 

(A typical sappy story but it is what it is.)

At approximately 8:56 in the evening, Vince speeds along the freeway, hands clenched on the steering wheel. Music is blaring from the receiver and the windows are down. Cold air rushes in the car which blows Vince’s dark curls. When Vince violently steers to the right, he lowers the music down and makes a call on his phone. 

“Jake, how are you doing?” Vince says as he looks to the left. 

“Doing fine, how ‘bout you?” 

“Fine as well. So do you got ‘em?” 

“Yep, pretty ones.” 

“Good, see you in 5 minutes.” 

Vince hangs up and quickly speeds up, the speedometer numbers elevating. When it is 9:05, Vince makes an abrupt stop beside the sidewalk where the bar is located. 

“Miley’s Bar” in pink neon lights. The building itself looks sleazy and that was what the bar wanted it to be known as. Vince opens the car door and makes his way around the car toward the entrance of the bar. Once inside, Vince looks everywhere to find Jake Miller. Short guy, bald head and wears enormous suits that look ridiculous on him. Pretty easy to distinguish, to be honest. 

Vince locates him at the corner. Two girls are cuddling beside him while two other girls are sitting across each other drinking some cocktails. 

“Hey, Vinny!” 

God, hate when he calls me that. Vince smiles on cue before looking at the girls. They are all dressed skimpily. Tight tops with short skirts. Too short skirts. Vince is almost revolted but he shakes it off. 

The girl in brunette makes room for Vince. Vince quickly sits down and the girl suddenly puts her head on his shoulder. 

“Hello,” she says, lust laced in her voice. Vince feels his heart beating irregularly and suddenly massages the girl on the chest. Yes, yes, I feel alive!

“You pig, Vinny,” Jake says with a chuckle. 

*

After the bar, Vince gets in the car and starts the engine. Enough for me. Vince backs out and speeds away, feeling total satisfaction. During the drive, Vince looks out of the window and finds a girl walking alone along the sidewalk. Suddenly, something inside Vince blooms. Lust. Vince screeches to a stop beside the sidewalk where the girl is. Vince opens the car door and paces towards the girl. 

“Hey, can you help me?” Vince says as the girl stops. She turns around with a worried expression. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks. 

“I need help with my car.”

The girl looks to be considering it but then continues walking without answering. Vince doesn’t take that. He runs towards her at the speed of a cheetah. The girl turns around and opens her mouth. She just stands there, paralyzed with fear, as Vince bear-hugs her. He drags her into the narrow alleyway where he blows her head in order for her to be unconscious. She collapses on the ground and Vince makes sure she is unconscious before dragging her to his car. He wipes his mouth before starting the engine. It takes 15 minutes in order for Vince to arrive at his house. It’s pretty far away. 

When Vince arrives at his house and pulls into his driveway, there is a sudden movement in the back. Vince turns his head over his shoulder to see the girl awake. 

She shrieks as she tries to open the car doors but Vince already locked them. 

“Shut it! You’ve got nowhere to go.” 

“What do you want from me?” she cries as Vince puts his finger to his mouth. 

“Shhh, just listen to me and nothing will go wrong, okay?” 

She shakes her head before Vince opens the driver’s door. He comes around and opens the door where the girl is. The girl tries to get out of the car but it’s no use. Vince punches her and flings her to the ground. She coughs violently before Vince picks her up, leading her inside his house. The girl whimpers along the way while Vince goes up to his room. 

Up there, he throws her on the bed, where she looks at Vince with alarm. Vince smiles before taking off his shirt. Yes!

*

Miranda Lacey. A 23-year-old graduate student whose life is dedicated to art and animals. She has a major in art and dreams to become a digital artist one day. She has two parents Jim and Janet, both living peacefully in a suburban home. Miranda has straight blonde hair with small lips and a narrow face. 

Janet Lacey was busy chopping up vegetables when she received a knock on the door. After putting down the knife, she rushed to the door and opened it. Two police officers were standing on her porch. 

“Hello Mrs. Lacey, we are from the police department. Do you know anyone by the name of Miranda Lacey?” 

“Yes, she is my daughter. What’s going on?” 

“She’s in the hospital right now.” 

“Why?!” 

“She’s not in critical condition but she is bruised.” 

“Oh my god. . .” 

“We can take you to the hospital right now.” 

“Okay,” Janet said before being led to the police car, worried for her daughter’s safety. 

*

Miranda exhales deep breaths as she looks to the side. 7:00 am. 

His arm is on her neck which makes her skin crawl. The events before have been projecting in her mind and it scares her. Is he going to kill me? 

She looks to the other side and sees the man. He has handsome features but a revolting personality. Miranda almost cries but collects herself as she thinks of a plan. To escape. But first of all, she has to get this man's arm off her neck. She doesn’t want to lift it, afraid he might wake up, ruining her plan. She thinks hard before finally making a move. 

She nudges his arm by moving her neck back and forth. She does this multiple times until he groans. He moves his arm out of her neck and turns his body to the side. Good. Step 1 completed. Now, comes the difficult part. To get out of bed without waking him up. She slowly moves to the edge of the bed in intervals while checking the man to see if he is still sleeping. When Miranda is at the edge of the bed, she looks down and finds a plain rug on the hardwood. All she has to do is land quietly on it. She closes her eyes before slowly falling on the rug. Miranda's heart stops at the loud thud. She stays still for a second and expects the man to wake up. However, there is just pure silence. 

Thank god. Miranda slowly gets up and sees the man asleep. Miranda steps downstairs without looking back, feeling her heart race. She’s almost out of the house. She stops in front of the front door and opens it. It’s locked. Miranda panics but then she looks at the door once more. 

On the top right corner is a chain that is evidently locked. Miranda feels a sharp blow to the head as she unlocks the chain. She screams as she feels a body pressing against her. 

“You stupid broad! What do you think you are doing?” 

His eyebrows are furrowed as Miranda spits at him and drives her knee up his groin, which deters him. She gets up and opens the door but is dragged down by the man. The man picks her up and drags her through the kitchen. Miranda looks everywhere and finds a set of knives located on the counter. I have to kill him! 

Miranda digs her teeth into his flesh which makes him cry. He lets go of her for a few seconds before Miranda shoves her foot into his stomach. He crashes against the dishwasher as Miranda grabs a knife from the set. 

“Don’t you dare!” he says as he charges towards her. Miranda closes her eyes as she jams the blade into his chest. He screams in agony before collapsing to the ground. He convulses for a few seconds, touching the knife that is inflicted in his chest. Miranda bends down and finishes the kill. Crimson blood is on her shirt and jeans now as she gets up. She backs away slowly before fleeing, daring not to look back.


October 31, 2022 04:53

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13 comments

Michał Przywara
21:43 Nov 10, 2022

As others have said, Vince definitely comes across as gross - very much a predator. I do like that we get some family background on him too, as it kind of puts things into context. It's richer than just "villain does villain things". Add to that the fact he's rich, and we're seeing a picture of a guy who had a rough start and then got used to getting what he wants - even though it's probably not fulfilling. This is relevant, because of how he treats Miranda. Not just the kidnap and assault, but specifically the actual sleeping. He's so con...

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Calm Shark
00:41 Nov 11, 2022

Your comments really do bring out a lot of depth into my stories. I've never noticed that Vince was cocky that Miranda wouldn't escape. Thank you Michal.

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Calm Shark
04:56 Oct 31, 2022

I have finally, after two months, wrote a story. I hope you guys like it since I have not been inspired to write any stories lately. Thank you to Reedsy authors for inspiring me. Feedback and critique are welcome. All in all, later!

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AnneMarie Miles
13:51 Oct 31, 2022

It is not easy to write every week especially when inspiration is lacking. So happy you were able to produce something this week. Sometimes I give myself permission to write something awful just to get it out, and usually that helps me progress to something I like. Keep going!

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Calm Shark
14:24 Oct 31, 2022

Thank you! :)

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Aeris Walker
22:06 Nov 06, 2022

You set the “creepy vibe” with Vince right from the very beginning, and his character seems well thought out and realistic—the backstory, the compulsion to go after what he desires, etc. He’s a pretty terrifying figure. I like the end, how Miranda really put up a fight to escape. It felt cinematic :)

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Calm Shark
22:10 Nov 06, 2022

Thank you, Aeris! A good thing I've set the creepy vibe. That was what I was going for.

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Aeris Walker
22:11 Nov 06, 2022

Definitely! You nailed it.

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AnneMarie Miles
13:54 Oct 31, 2022

This story is action packed, and there are several moments when things don't go as planned for your characters. I liked the way in which you described them, so objectively and in small fragments that it almost felt like a police report, which is very fitting for a crime story. One bit of critique I have for you is to rewrite this phrase: "A thud is heard and Miranda’s heart stops" I find that writing passively like that is almost never effective. Instead you could make a very simple change and it would be much more powerful, such as: "Mirand...

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Calm Shark
14:23 Oct 31, 2022

Okay, Anne. Thank you for the critique and for reading my story!

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AnneMarie Miles
14:25 Oct 31, 2022

Absolutely! It was a delight :)

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Corey Melin
18:32 Jan 21, 2023

Well written story of suspense. Kept you on your toes to see what happens. The ending is the type you wished happened all the time in this situation. Unfortunately not. A rough childhood doesn’t excuse his behavior. You learn and go the opposite direction of the abuse. Well done

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Calm Shark
17:49 Jan 22, 2023

Hey Corey! Yep, in some cases, this ending does not happen sadly. I hope cases like these diminish in the future. Thank you for reading! :)

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