Sticking Together

Emmerette laid in bed one early Saturday morning, enjoying a few peaceful moments before another busy day. No doubt Mackenzie’d wanna go to the park again, she sighed: i’ve taken her there every other Saturday for the past two months, hasn’t she gotten sick of it yet? She thought to herself. She wondered how her classmates were spending their weekends, maybe having a lie in after a long school week, maybe hanging out with friends, not worrying about their little sisters 24/7, not worried about putting food on the table or that someone would find out and separate them.  Emmerette didn’t mind too much though, after all, she loved her sister: Sometimes i’d like a lie in too that’s all. She reflected. 

On cue, she heard a knock at the door: “Come in Ken”. Mackenzie walked in with her arms folded: “Stop calling me that”! Emmerette smirked: “Sorry Mac book”.  Mackenzie picked up a cushion that had fallen on the floor and threw it at Emmerette: “Ow”! “Worst sister ever”. Mackenzie responded sticking her tongue out. Emmerette simply smiled: “Oh yeah”? She scooped Mackenzie up in her arms and began tickling her: “Hey”! “If i’m such a bad sister I might as-well do this huh”? Mackenzie squealed with laughter as Emmerette continued tickling her harder and harder, blowing raspberries on her cheek intermittently: “Aaahh, put me down Em”! “Apologise”! “Never”! Emmerette tickled Mackenzie even harder: “Ok ok i’m sorry i’m sorry put me down”! Mackenzie giggled hysterically: “There we go, that’s better”. Emmerette answered finally putting her sister down: “Morning baby girl”. She smiled before kissing Mackenzie on the forehead: “Morning Emmie, sleep good”? “Yeah, I slept ok thanks, how did you sleep”? She nodded: “Yeah, can we go to the red slide park again”?! Emmerette had to stop herself from laughing, she knew it: “We’ve been going there for weeks Mack, don’t you wanna try something new”? “Awww but I like that one, please Emmie”? “We can try something new next time, please”? Emmerette relented: “Fine, go downstairs and wait for me i’ll be there in a sec and make you some toast”. Mackenzie jumped up and down excitedly, clapping: “Yaaay, thank you Emmie”. She kissed her on the cheek and ran downstairs. Emmerette sighed again and pulled out her bottom drawer where her secret stash was. She’d been doing great without it the past two days, but she had no energy today, she needed the boost: “Sorry Ken”. She whispered before opening the bottle of vodka and taking a long swig. As she closed it she instantly felt lighter, stronger, more confident that she could face the day. She smiled, jumped out of bed, put the stash back in its hiding spot and skipped merrily downstairs to meet Mackenzie.

 “Hello Kenny”!! Emmerette beamed, spinning around. Annoyed, Mackenzie through a napkin at her, Emmerette laughed: “You really hate that nickname don’t you”? “It’s a boy’s name I keep telling you that”! Emmerette giggled at her: “You know if you didn’t keep reacting I wouldn’t keep doing it right”? “i’m moving out”. “Oh yeah”? “And where are you gonna go”? Mackenzie thought for a moment, placing a finger on her chin: “Hmm”… her face suddenly lit up: “I know”! “I can go stay with Lxie”! “Right and Lexie’s mum will try to get a hold of our mum and blow our cover”. Mackenzie sagged in her seat, Emmerette smirked: “Looks like you’re stuck with me sis”. “Can’t wait to be a grown up”. Mackenzie mumbled: “I can’t wait either, the sooner you’re out of my hair the better”. Mackenzie stuck her tongue out at her sister and Emmerette did the same before heading further into the kitchen: “Do you want jam on your toast or chocolate spread”? “Both please”! Mackenzie replied. Emmerette rolled her eyes: “You are not having both again, remember what happened last time”? Mackenzie looked disappointed: “You’re no fun”. Emmerette raised am eyebrow: “Guess you won’t wanna go to the red slide park with your boring sister then. “Noooo, I wanna go I take it back”! “Haha, thought so, so chocolate spread”? “K”. “Good girl”. Emmerette turned her attention to making the toast: “Are you gonna have toast too”? “Yup, and coffee”. “Can I have coffee”? “No way, you’re gonna be hyper enough at the park already thank you very much”. Mackenzie sighed: “Will you ever let me have coffee”? “Maybe if you’re really good i’ll let you have a little bit on your birthday”. Mackenzie gasped: “So I have to be good for a whole week”?! Emmerette turned back to face her with a smile: “Yup, think you can manage that”? “Mackenzie nodded, “it’s a deal then”. “Yaaaay”! Mackenzie clapped: “Best sister ever”! Emmerette smiled: “You’ve changed your tune haven’t you”? Mackenzie giggled as Emmerette turned her attention back to making breakfast. 

They arrived at the park and Mackenzie immediately spotted the red slide: “Aaahh yaaay”!!! Mackenzie exclaimed running towards it: “Careful Mack”. Emmerette answered walking after her: “Come on Em”! Mackenzie beckoned, climbing up the steps and sitting on the slide. Emmerette climbed up after her and sat beside her: “Ready”? “Yup ready”. “3, 2, 1….Weeee”!!! Mackenzie cheered as they both went down the slide. They went down the slide a few more times before going on the monkey bars.

“Oo oo ahah”! “We’re monkeys Em”! “i’d rather be a Gorilla if i’m honest Mack, they’re way cooler, watch”. Emmerette jumped off the monkey bars and beat against her chest, making gorilla noises: “I wanna try”! Before Mackenzie could jump down too, Emmerette carefully helped her off the monkey bars instead: “Careful Mack”. “i’m not a baby Em,  i’m 9 next week”. She told her, folding her arms: “You’ll always be my baby sister and i’ll never stop wanting to protect you”. Mackenzie rolled her eyes: “Fine, next time i’ll let you fall to your death shall i”? “They’re not that high”! “Yes they are, go on try to reach them”. Mackenzie strained as she tried to stretch up to reach the monkey bars, she then tried to jump up to reach them, Emmerette laughed: “Told you”. “You smell”. “Like perfection”. “Emmerette flicked her hair and gave her sister a dazzling smile, Mackenzie just sighed: “Anyway let me be a grilla too”. Mackenzie beat on her chest too imitating her sister: “Was that good”? Emmerette smiled: “Amazing baby girl, what do you wanna do next”? Mackenzie gasped and pointed toward the swing set: “Swings”! She shouted before rushing  over to them.

“Wow… let’s go higher Em”! Mackenzie encouraged as she swung higher and higher. Emmerette tried to match her: “You can go a lot higher than me baby, you’ve got smaller legs”. “Yaaay for little legs”!  She cheered, swinging higher: “See”? “There are some good things about being little”. “When i’m 9 i’m gonna be bigger”! Emmerette chuckled: “Yeah you are”. “And then i’ll be bigger and bigger until i’m as big as you”! “How big are you again Em”? “Well, i’m about 5ft 3 inches tall and i’m 15 years old”. Mackenzie gasped: “Wow, I wanna be as big as you”! “You will be one day Macky, you’ll be taller, older, stronger, hopefully wiser”. “Wiser than you”? Emmerette rolled her eyes: “Oh ha ha very funny, hey speaking of age, you still haven’t told me what you want for your birthday”. “Oh erm… nothing special”. “Come on Mack, there must be something”. “You might not like it”. Emmerette chuckled; “Oh no it’s not another box of barbies is it”? Mackenzie laughed: “No, that’s for Christmas”. “Oh of course baby my mistake”. She tittered: “So go on, what is it”? “You might not be able to get it”. Emmerette stopped swinging: “Hey, come here”. Mackenzie got off the swing and slowly walked over to Emmerette who lifted her onto her lap: “Don’t ever be scared to ask me for something ok”? “if it’s something you really want or need, i’ll do my best to make it happen, and if I can’t get you that exact thing i’ll come up with a great substitute, especially for your birthday ok”? “I’ll always do my best for you, understand”? Mackenzie nodded: “So tell me what you want”. Mackenzie bit her lip nervously: “I want mummy to come”. Emmerette froze, she wasn’t expecting that, she’d been hoping Mackenzie had forgotten about their mother like she herself was trying to, but apparently that was asking way too much, she swallowed: “Well I mean… i-I could try but baby… you know i’ve tried to phone her for ages… it’s very unlikely you get that right”? Mackenzie looked up at her hopefully: “Maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she misses us now, maybe she’s gotten sick of cranky Kevin”. Emmerette chuckled at the old nickname they’d given him: “Member”? “She got sick of that other boy… what did you call him again”? Luke the Locust”. She laughed again remincantly: “Yeah”! “See Em, mummy changes her mind all the time”! Mackenzie looked at Emmerette pleadingly, Emmerette swallowed again: “I’ll try baby”. She answered, kissing the top of her head and holding her closer, Mackenzie smiled: “Thank you Emmie”.

That night, after putting Mackenzie to bed, Emmerette sat on her bed with her secret stash in front of her, her phone opened to her mum’s number. She wondered why she hadn’t deleted it, at least then she could tell Mackenzie she had no way of contacting her anymore. She promised herself she wouldn’t keep doing this, that she’d be stronger but she wasn’t prepared, she needed the boost, with a heavy sigh she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a couple gulps before flopping back onto her bedcovers in a fit of giggles: that’s better She thought to herself. She the picked up her phone rang her mum’s number, it went to voicemail as predicted, she sighed in exasperation before leaving a voicemail: “Hello mummy dearest”! She giggled again: “I know you don’t give a damn about us but Mackenzie doesn’t understand that, she’s just a kid”… Her playful mood quickly evaporated: “It’s her 9^th birthday next week, can you believe it mum”? “Next year she’ll be in double digits”! She smiled proudly at the thought: “She wants you to come and see her, dunno why you would but like I said she’s just a kid, she doesn’t get it, don’t worry, you don’t have to stay, you can just come for the day and then crawl back under whatever alcohol induced hole you came from, I do get it though… it can be really helpful”. She took a glance at the near empty bottle of vodka beside her: How did it come to this? How did I become exactly like her?  “But one thing I don’t get is that you could leave her, I mean forget me, I gave up on you years ago but her”? “She’s amazing mum, how could you abandon her”? “It’s bad enough that she doesn’t have her dad, she needs a parent”… Tears gathered in her eyes: “I’m not enough for her, I know i’m not, i’m trying but-…. Please mum, if you ever loved either of us, you’ll come back and look after her, she needs you”. She quickly hung up, not wanting her mum to hear her cry. She put her phone down, put her stash back in her bottom drawer and headed to Mackenzie’s room. 

Once inside, she quietly shut the door behind her and climbed in bed beside Mackenzie, pulling her close, she played with Mackenzie’s hair and allowed the tears to fall: “Baby girl… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry for everything, I’m sorry I can’t be enough for you, i’m sorry our parents are so crap”… She laughed through her tears: “I’m trying, I really am, maybe I’m being selfish by not letting you go, maybe it would be better for you if I told someone about this, maybe it’d give you a better childhood if you got adopted or something, but what if it didn’t work out”? “What if something bad happened or you didn’t get adopted at all then what”? “We need each other, we’re all we’ve got”… “I wish I could’ve been your mummy instead, that way you’d never know abandonment, i’ll never abandon you Ken, I love you so much baby girl”… She held Mackenzie even closer, crying into her hair, inhaling the scent of the shampoo she’d used to wash Mackenzie’s hair earlier. Suddenly Mackenzie began to stir: “Mmm… Emmie”? She asked turning to face her: “Why are you crying Emmie”? “Is it bcoz I asked about mummy”? “No, course not baby, I just watched a really sad movie that’s all”. She managed a wobbly smile. Mackenzie groaned, tilting her head back: “Was it that boring doggy one again”? again she laughed through her tears: “Guilty”. Mackenzie laughed too: “Silly Emmie, you know that one always makes you cry, why did you watch it”? “Gluten for punishment I guess”. Mackenzie wiped a few of Emmerette’s tears away then hugged her, ushering her head onto Mackenzie’s shoulder: “Better”? Emmerette nodded: “Better, thanks Mack, I love you, you know that right”? “Mmhmm”. Mackenzie nodded: “I love you too Em, Na-night”. “Night baby”. Feeling a little better, Emmerette drifted off to sleep in the arms of the most important person in her life, she didn’t know if there mum would come through for Mackenzie, but Emmerette always would.