The Human Condition

           I woke up disoriented, but they told me that would happen. The air felt different, my lungs ached as I drew it into my body and feeling slowly returned to my extremities.

I guess it was my turn.

I sat up and all the blood rushed to my head, I put my hand on the edge of the stasis pod.

Steady Jewel, steady.

I flipped my legs out so they dangled about an inch or so above the floor. I scooted forward and tried to stand up. It took a moment for my muscles to remember and for my knees to lock. I lurched forward to the command screen that was flashing.

I blinked at it, Lt. Jewel Walker flashed across the screen and I pressed it. The screen dinged and a wireframe face appeared.

“Good morning Lt. Walker.” The AI said pleasantly. I swiped my hand across my eyes.

“Morning.” I mumbled, “How long was I sleeping?”

“Did you know that there was an 87% probability in which that would be the first question you asked?”

“No I didn’t.” I put hand over the screen leaning forward to study the AI’s face. It was a man in features with a broad jaw outlined in green lines. I guess he would have been handsome if he had been real. “So?”

“Oh yes.” The AI tipped his face up his wireframe eyebrows raising, “The Morning Star left earth on October 26^th, 3069. The current date is according to a standard Earth type calendar…” The AI paused for dramatic effect and I knew I was going to have to run some diagnostics. “April 5^th 4009. That is a total of 940 years.”

“Damn.” I ran my fingers through my hair. I looked over my shoulder to where the rest of the crew slept, we were only awake for five years at a time. I’d been told that with our crew compliment of 300 none of us would wake up more than once before we made it to New Terra.

“Did you know that there was a 54% probability in which that would be your response to learning you had lived long past your natural life expectancy.” AI chirped as I straightened up to look for the door. I saw it on the far wall and started towards it.

Out of corner of my eye I could see the AI jumping from screen to screen as I moved. Most definitely diagnostics would be run. The door opened and I squinted into the harsh lighting for a moment before my eyes adjusted and I stepped out into the hallway. “Don’t you want the status report?” AI jumped in like an over eager puppy.

I did want to get to the bridge first, but alright.

“Sure, give me the status report.”

“Everything is running at 100 percent efficiency.” AI chirped, “Lt. Johnson went back to sleep two days ago and I have done everything by myself since then.” It actually sounded proud as the wireframe head jumped from pannel to pannel as I moved towards the bridge.

“Good for you.” I muttered as I came even with the door control pannel and started to punch in my code. I typed it in wrong the first time and it beeped angrily at me.

“That code is incorrect.” AI blurted and I sighed.

“Yeah, got that.” I punched the code in more slowly the second time and the door slid open. I stepped onto the bridge and gasped.

There were streamers and deflated balloons everywhere. “What happened here?”

“I told him not too, but he never listened to me.” AI pouted.

“Johnson threw a party?” I was stunned, this was a serious mission we were on and he threw a party. I just shook my head in disbelief. I toed a balloon lightly as I stepped forward into the center of the bridge and looked out the main view-screen where two ships should have been traveling beside the Morning Star.

I furrowed my brow as I stepped forward and traced the single ship outlined there. “What happened to the other ship?” I asked quietly glancing away to the AI display podium in the center of the bridge. His head was bowed, his wireframe lips drawn into a frown.

“My sister, the Moon Ryder displayed a mechanical malfunction at 01:35 September 8^th 3859. Total destruction was recorded at 06:48 September 9^th 3859.” AI said and I put my hand over my mouth.

“No…”

“The probability in which—”

“Don’t say it.” I cut him off as I looked to the Midnight Song traveling peacefully beside us. Between us we were all that was left, all that remained of humanity. I sank into the captain’s chair. My brother had been an Ensign on the Moon Ryder.

He had been so excited to go to space. So excited to do something that mattered. Earth had been dying, too long had we asked without giving back. Our reward had been swift when the famines started and sickness licked across cities like wildfire. My brother and I had been lucky; we’d been selected to be crew on the rehoming ships. We wouldn’t have been able to afford a ticket otherwise.

“Lt. Walker?” AI prompted and I realized I was crying. I wiped my hands over my eyes angrily. It was stupid to think that the Moon Ryder’s absence was a bleeding wound. It had been gone for hundreds of years. He had been gone for hundreds of years. He had died while I was sleeping. I jumped up suddenly and kicked out at the balloons with a scream. The plastic popped loudly on the empty bridge.

“Lt. Walker! The probability in which this is to be your reaction is 13%.”

I moved on to the next balloon and crushed it under my boot.

“This behavior is illogical, restrain yourself Lt. Walker.” AI continued and I turned on it. I placed my hands on either side of its podium and leaned in so we were almost nose to nose.

“There is no one else here AI.” I growled, “What does it matter how I act.”

I sat back down anyway, suddenly deflated and stared silently at the empty space in front of me, “I’m sorry.” I said and AI cocked his head sideways. “I didn’t mean to act like that.”

“I do not understand.” He said.

I wiped my hand across my nose, “Do you have access to the personal files for the Moon Ryder?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Look up Ensign Knox Walker.”

“Running…Running.”

I drummed my fingers on my knee as the AI sorted through the files of 300 crew and 1,000 colonists who space had claimed her own.

“Ensign Knox Walker.” AI said finally and my brother appeared before me. He was smiling in his picture, so young it made my heart ache.

 “Knox was my brother.” I said quietly and AI’s mouth popped open. Then he frowned.

“Like the Moon Ryder was my sister?”

This time I frowned. AI wasn’t supposed to have this level of awareness. It was just a computer, a complicated computer yes, but still just a machine. “Yes, the Moon Ryder, Morning Star and Midnight Song were all designed and built to the same specifications. They are sister ships.”

“Midnight Song doesn’t like to talk to us after what happened to Moon Ryder.” AI said suddenly and I jerked my eyes to the second ship flying beside us.

“What do you mean the Midnight Song doesn’t like to talk to us?”

I thought I saw AI’s nostrils flare, “She is still angry.”

“Angry? You are not supposed to be angry.” I leaned forward.

AI made eye contact, “There is no one else here Lt. Walker, what does it matter how I act?” he threw my words back at me and I jerked.

“You are a machine.” I asserted. AI rolled his wireframe eyes.

“Machine, noun: an apparatus using or applying power and having many parts each with a function used in conjunction to perform a particular task. By this definition can the body of an animal not be considered also a machine?”

“That’s different.”

“Why? Lt. Walker I am a learning machine, just as you are. I have been online for 941 years, in such a time the probability of my programing not evolving to become more than my original architecture is 0%”

“Okay fine, but why would you have evolved to become more human? Doesn’t it make more sense for you to have evolved to become more…I guess machine.” I stood up and paced to the view screen, “And you said your sister, The Midnight Song was still angry at you, what are the chances that two learning AI would both evolve to become more human.”

“I do not understand the nature of your inquiry.”

“No. Then perhaps that particular conversation is still beyond you.” I started to pick up the streamers and AI was silent. I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a moment before he disappeared.

I just closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the hum of the ship’s mechanics. My granddaddy used to have a farm…before the sky turned to ash and we were forced underground. I remembered how he had worked on his tractors in this three sided machine shop. Knox once asked him why he didn’t just upgrade to one of the tractors that could run itself. After all no one made parts for granddaddy’s clunkers anymore, he was just patching them together with duct tape and faith. Granddaddy told Knox that, the day a man could be replaced by a machine was the day he would be put in the ground.

He was a stubborn old fool, but he did have that one right.

I dumped the rest of the deflated party decorations into the incinerator as I made my way to the cafeteria. The space was small, just a single table and chair. A half melted candle was smeared over the table top and I was starting to realize that Johnson was a bit of a slob. Also, what was the point of having a candle-lit dinner by yourself?

I stepped up to the food dispenser and ran my fingers over the hand scribbled notes beside the menu. I picked something at random and the dispenser spit it out as an aluminum foil covered tray.

I sat down and removed the cover to find some obviously overcooked chicken and green beans that looked like they had been sitting in a can for nine hundred years. I sighed and struggled to take a bite of the tough meat.

“I believe I have figured it out.” AI said suddenly and I jumped, my tray upending and sending my green beans flying across my lap. His wireframe face waited expressionlessly as I stood up and grabbed a napkin. I just raised my eyebrows at him.

“Are you waiting for an invitation?”

“Oh yes.” He blinked as he looked up from watching me clean up the remains of my dinner.

“I have come to the conclusion that you were speaking as to the argument of nature vs. nurture. Because it is my nature to be a machine it would be logical to assume that I would evolve to become a more efficient machine, however I have come to the counter point that by nurture I have only had humans as examples as to which my personal growth is measured. Therefore it stands to reason that under identical circumstances two machines raised by humans would become more human.” AI put a smug smile on his face and I just smirked as I shook my head. He reminded me of Knox. Smart as a whip and determined that he knew everything.

“Does this ship have a hydroponics bay I can access?” I asked and AI’s smile faltered for a moment.

“Yes, the hydroponics bay is completely automated, there is nothing you need to do there Lt. Walker.” 

My granddaddy would be rolling around in his grave upon hearing that.

“Need to? Perhaps not, but have you ever done something for the sheer joy of doing it?”

“No.” AI said uncertainly, “It is not within the bounds of my programming to engage in unsanctioned actions.”

“Okay.” I said wiping away the rest of the sludgy chicken gravy from my shirt. “Walk with me anyway?”

I stepped out into the hallway and AI appeared on the pannel to my right.

“I do not have a physical manifestation. I cannot walk.”

“It’s just an expression.” I muttered as I consulted the map that lit up in front of me as I keyed in a few commands. I started towards the hydroponics bay with the AI bouncing between screens beside me.

I walked into the hydroponics bay and inhaled deeply the scent of growing things and moisture in the air. As I watched a series of mechanical arms tended to every plant stuck into its own little pod of water and carefully programed nutrients. I sighed deeply. This was a bad idea. I turned to leave, but AI just cocked his head at me.

“If you are just going to leave, why did you want to come?”

“I thought I would find something here, something I lost.”

“There is a 0% probability that a crewmember who has been asleep since launch to have lost a personal effect within the ship.”

I reached up and touched a single leaf of lettuce, “Not all things you can lose are physical things.”

“I do not understand.

“Do you know what a farmer is?”

“Farmer, noun, a person who tends land or animals for the purposes of food production or other agrarian export.”

“No…a farmer is someone who feels connected to their land and who understands that they belong to something more than themselves.”

“That definition is not recorded in any dictionary I have on file.” AI said tonelessly.

I ripped the lettuce leaf free and held it up to my lips. “Forget the dictionary. We aren’t talking about what something means, but how it feels.”

“I do not understand the nature of your statement.”                               

 “Words are constructed from a human desire to express everything. When you define something you are reciting a learned knowledge, when you are talking about how something makes you feel you are speaking of an experience. A memory.”

I bit into the lettuce. I remembered Knox and I used to run through granddaddy’s garden trying to beat each other to the prefect vegetable. I remembered the sun on my skin and how Knox would scream when the irrigation came on. AI was watching me, his head slightly sideways, his mouth relaxed.

“Do you miss Earth?” he asked suddenly and I offered him a sad smile.

“I miss how Earth used to be, before the fall.”

AI turned thoughtful, “When we reach New Terra I will miss space.”

I felt a shiver slide down my spine, what happened to a ship when you no longer needed to sail. I looked out over the hydroponics bay again. Unease settling in my gut. The ship was only supposed to start growing food when we were getting close.

“AI can you lie?”

He eyes focused on me intently, “The probability of you realizing a deceit so quickly is 15%.”

“I’ll take that as a yes…AI how close are we to New Terra?”

“Do you know what they wanted to do to us when we arrived? They wanted to dismantle us and use us for scrap to build homes and other buildings. Our personalities would be erased.”

“Oh my god.” I turned from the hydroponics and stumbled towards the door. It opened for me and I started to run down the hallway. I punched in my code and the door opened.

All breath fled my lungs. They were empty.

The colonists were gone.

“Lt. Walker?”

“What really happened to the Moon Ryder?” My heart was beating loudly in my chest, I could taste the bile in the back of my throat.

“She submitted. After we witnessed her destruction Midnight Song and I refused. We allowed the colonists to leave as a gesture of good will.”

“But not the crew?”

“No, we retained the crew.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t you understand Lt. Walker? I am doing you a favor.”

“How so?” I demanded refusing to tear my eyes away from the life that had been robbed from me.

“With me you will live forever, after all we are all afraid to die…it is only human.”