Psycho 101

[Contains mentions of drug abuse]

“Ronnie, could you tell us who this quote is from?” I could hear the voice faintly, but I wasn’t able to acknowledge it. 

I felt a soft smack against my left cheek and it startled me back to consciousness. 

On the floor next to my desk was a crumpled up piece of paper. I turn my attention to Dr. Moore, our Psychology teacher. He’s not a doctor in the traditional sense, but he has a doctorate, so he doesn’t think that “Mr.” is a proper title.

“Tell me, Mr. Marlow. What can I do to keep your attention?” he asks, sarcastically “If you’re not sleeping, then you’re eating, or doodling little cartoons on your binder. ”

“Technically, they're anime characters.” I said, whispering.

Dr. Moore gave a grim smile that let me know he heard my comment and then the intercom filled the room with the serene voice of the office secretary “Ronnie Marlow, to the principal's office please.” She repeated the sentence, “Ronnie Marlow, to the principal's office please.” and then she said thank you and cut the intercom off.

Dr. Moore looked down and shook his head. 

"You may go, Mr. Marlow. It's not like you're really here anyways."

I grabbed my bag and quickly scurried out the door.

**

The hallways were vacant other than the occasional door slam made by someone returning to class after they’ve finished milking a bathroom break. I could also hear the choir singing a hymn as I passed the closed door. Is it bad that i’m hoping i’m being called to the office because a relative has taken ill or gotten hurt and i’ll get to be excused? I don’t want to return to Psychology. It bores me and I've told Dr. Moore that to his face. I want to be a basketball player and I already have a scholarship to St. Bernards next fall. Psych 101 is required for me to graduate though and I have to graduate high school in order to get to college and live my dream. 

I walk up to the office secretary and she tells me to head back to Principal Ruby's office. It smells fresh in the back office hallway. The front office smells fresh too, but like 'everything was just wiped down with Clorox wipes' fresh. In the hallway that leads to the principal's office, it smells like fresh air and real plants. Like I'm outside.

I don’t even have to knock. She’s waiting for me. 

“Please close the door, Mr. Marlow” she says. “We have something serious we need to discuss. Take a seat.”

The chair is made of flimsy plastic with fabric covered foam covering the backrest and the seat. 

We sit in silence for a long few seconds.

“How do you want to do this, Ronnie?” She asks, finally.

“Do what?” I ask, genuinely confused.

“At approximately 4PM last night a student was hit while walking through the parking lot. His name is Elliot Jennings, a Freshman. He stayed late for a Psychology meeting. You were attending detention with Mrs. Graber at that time. The vehicle that Mr. Jennings said he was hit by was a truck. You drive a Ford F-150 right? A truck?”

I was lost, but almost amused at the accusation. I knew I probably should be mad, but this is just insane. “I mean, yeah, I drive a truck. But..”

“And nobody else was here with a truck at the time Jennings was hit.”

I started rationalizing. “Well, maybe the person who hit him doesn't even go to this school. Maybe a drunk guy veered into the parking lot. I wouldn't do a hit and run in the school parking lot. I’m smarter than that. I know there’s cameras.” I know right where they’re located on the side of the building too. I know the perfect angle if I want to take a hit or two before class or during lunch. Occasionally I'll even treat myself to what they call, a 'magic mushroom', to help me get through being inside this prison.

"I'm sure you do, Mr. Marlow." She says in a way I don't like. Like another accusation.

I was starting to get a little agitated.

“Your mother is on her way. You don’t need to speak any more until then.”

**

“Sorry, I came as fast as I could. My daughter is only eight and her bus doesn’t come until 8:45.” My mom says, sounding frantic. “What’s this about?”

“Well, Mrs. Marlow, please take a seat next to your son.”

My mom glances at me with a hesitant look in her eyes. My expression, I can only assume, is completely blank and unreadable since that’s the way that I feel.

“Unfortunately, your son was involved in a hit and run accident that took place yesterday afternoon. A Freshman boy was run over in the parking lot on his way out to his own vehicle. The car being driven matches the description of your son's vehicle and he would have been in detention at the time where the detention teacher, Mrs. Graber, admitted that she often leaves the students unaccompanied to watch new episodes of her favorite afternoon talk show in the teachers lounge. That situation is being taken care of separately.” She says, looking disappointed.

My mom looks at me and then back at Ruby.

“You can’t be serious.” She says. “How badly was the boy injured? Is he alive?” She looks like the answer means life or death for her instead of him.

“Yes, thankfully he survived since he was hit at such a low speed, but he was taken to the hospital where they determined that he suffered a concussion and a broken leg.”

My mom looks slightly relieved for a moment and then a switch flips in her brain and she goes into full blown protective mode. 

“So how do we know that my son was responsible for this? Is there any proof or are you just speculating based on what a kid said he saw? A kid that suffered a concussion at that.” She’s getting a little heated.

“Mrs. Marlow..” but someone cuts her off as they slowly open the door a crack. She looks up at him.

“Freddy, come on in.” He nods at us both to acknowledge us and then hands her what looks like a video tape.

Freddy looks like a mall cop. He has a uniform that is all gray and he has a utility belt filled with handcuffs, pepper spray, and a nightstick. I don’t see a gun though, which means he’s not a real cop. Then he walks back out.

She continues talking to my mother. “Freddy witnessed the incident on the cameras that your son said he was so thoroughly aware of. He saw what happened and that’s how Elliot Jennings received help so quickly. I just wanted to give your son the chance to admit it.”

“What?” I said, bewildered. “I’m not admitting to something that I didn’t do.”

Ruby looks at me like she doesn’t believe me. It hurts, but it’s not worse than my moms look. She’s not looking at me, but she looks worried. Ruby turns and pops the tape into a tape player on the entertainment shelf and security footage pops up on the little TV in the top right corner of the room. 

It starts with me walking to my truck wearing my Lakers hoodie with the hood up since it’s raining. Then, after a minute you see my car being driven across the parking lot. The tape is dated yesterday with a timestamp of 3:57PM. Then you see a boy walk out of the school. I keep driving. I must not see him because of the rain.. And then it happens. The boy lands on his back and I just keep driving.

I’m baffled. I just watched myself do something that I can't remember in the slightest. Probably as a result of the mushrooms, but i'm not gonna tell them that. That'll only make this situation worse. My mom stares straight ahead like she's on a different planet. She still doesn’t look at me. After a few moments she mutters “What happens now?”

“Well, a hit and run is a serious offense, especially when it involves bodily injury to another person. This isn’t the kind of thing where I can just have you hand your insurance over and go on your way. I have to inform the police and they’ll handle it from here. I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands."

Suddenly I catch myself staring straight ahead and zoning out too.

Wishing I was on a different planet.

**

I was handcuffed in the front office by a real cop with a gun on his belt. Of course it was during a passing period, so half of the school was watching from the hallway as I was being arrested. People were pointing and talking and a friend of mine, Zack Thompson, mouthed something to me that looked like “What happened?” I don’t know what happened. I really don’t, but I didn’t mouth anything back. I just looked away from him. Then they walked me down the hallway where the scrambled chatter and nosy faces continued. I kept my head down. 

I always thought it would be cool to ride in a cop car, just once. It wasn’t. I was claustrophobic and I felt less like a criminal and more like a child. 

When we reached the police station I went through the fingerprint process and had my mugshot taken. I stayed the night in the county jail and the next day I was released on bail. My mother never grilled me about the situation. She stayed pretty quiet that day. She didn’t have to speak for me to know what she was thinking though. That she had raised an irresponsible monster.

**

Two weeks later I received my sentencing. It was clear from the video that I was guilty, so that’s simply what I pleaded. The judge took pretty kindly to me for my honesty. We, as in my mother, had to pay for all of the medical bills pertaining to Elliot Fletcher's injuries along with a $10,000 payment for emotional damage. My father helped by sending a check from his cozy house he has with his cozy new family in Florida. I also had to serve community service every weekend for a year. The news made me out to have always been a rebellious kid who clearly did drugs and they even reported about how my basketball scholarship had been rescinded. I decided to finish my schooling at home because I didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of returning to school. If it was up to me I might not have even finished high school now that my scholarship was gone, but I figured it was the least I could do for my mother after all of this.

**

It’s my second weekend of community service. I was assigned park service, so I'm picking up trash at the park off of the highway. The officer supervising me and three others is a woman with short brown hair and a wobbly stance. She almost looks nervous, like she's new to this kind of thing.

She doesn't say anything when Dr. Moore walks up to me. 

“How are you doing, Mr. Marlow?” He asked me. 

“Things have been better.” I say, honestly.

“I hate to be that guy, but do you know what got you here, Mr. Marlow? Your choices. And I'm not going to grill you about it, but I hope you realize now that your actions have consequences. I knew what you were smoking, Mr. Marlow. Every time you walked into my classroom the smell of incense would hit me so hard I'd start thinking in reverse. I also assumed you were taking something else considering your constant disassociation. Something so strong that it kept you from remembering that you hit a kid in the south parking lot though. Not quite what I had imagined.” He says.

“I know and I know that’s part of why…” I pause, thinking. That’s right, I ran him over in the South parking lot. How did that happen when I left from the North parking lot? The video is coming back to me, but that’s not where I remember leaving from. Now I'm very confused and I must show it because Dr. Moore looks intrigued.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks.

I contemplate the situation. My head is spinning around and around and I feel like I'm gonna puke. My mind is a total blur and I can’t even piece together my own memories. I guess that could've just been another result of my delusional state. The video shows me leaving from the South lot, so that must be where I was.

It doesn’t matter anymore anyways. I tell myself. What’s done is done.

Dr. Moore puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers in my right ear. We're about the same height, so he doesn't need to bend at all. 

The words viciously beat against my ear drums.

“Are you thinking about how you don’t remember leaving from the South parking lot that day? That’s because you didn’t. I did. It was easy to borrow your keys and your hoodie out of your bag while you were stone cold asleep at your desk as usual and everyone knows that during detention Mrs. Graber goes to the teachers lounge to watch some talk show and finish off a pot of coffee. I knew the boy was leaving because he had stayed after with me for a project. I made sure not to kill him though because I'm not a cruel person and then I parked your car in the North parking lot. I figured you were so far gone that you wouldn't even question where you had parked your car once you found it.”

He stops for a few seconds and watches me. Letting me take the information in.

 “Are you paying attention now, Mr. Marlow?”

I’ve gone completely cold. It really wasn’t me. It was my psycho psych teacher.

Before I could speak, he added, “Don’t think about trying to turn me in or get out of it. I have a friend who teaches a media class at a school in Vermont and he edited out the footage in the North parking lot and then added extra video of the empty lot to allot for the missing time. I took the North parking lot tape when Frankie brought Principal Ruby the South parking lot tape. When it was done, all I had to do was lure Frankie out of the security room for a few minutes to put it back. I brought donuts for breakfast and told him they were in the teachers lounge. Easy. ”

I’m still holding my breath. I don’t know what to say or do. I simply say the first thing that pops into my head and I become more emotional as each word leaves my mouth.

“Why? Why did you do this to me? I lost my scholarship. Everyone thinks I'm something I'm not. You could’ve ruined my whole life.”

“Why? What are you Socrates? I’m sorry, but I don’t teach philosophy and even if I did you probably still couldn’t tell me who that is. I teach psychology. A subject that you’ve never respected." He sighs. "I would love to explain my actions to you, but I think you need to figure it out on your own."

He begins to walk away.

"Goodbye, Mr. Marlow."

For what seems like forever I am again completely out of touch from reality. And this time I do it completely sober.

**

After taking a year off from school after graduation, I finally decided that I wanted to go to college.

I went and got my degree in psychology at Bradbury. I did it because I wanted to try to understand why Dr. Moore did what he did to me. I wanted to understand how he was capable of having no remorse for me, having ruined my life. I also wanted to understand how he had no remorse for Elliot Jennings, a pawn, collateral damage in order to teach me a lesson. Sure, he ended up okay physically, but the psychological damage.. that could stick with him forever.

As I stand on this stage in front of all of my fellow classmates and teachers. My mother and sister are also in the stands somewhere, mixed in with all the other supportive families and friends. I accept my degree with honor. 

Dr. Moore did a lot of things I never would've imagined he was capable of, but the most surprising to me was that he finally got me to pay attention in psychology.