I hate cats, but

Warning :May contain trigger sensitive context

When I was younger, I remember having a cat around the age of 9. One thing I remembered about her was her puffy white fur. I called her fluffy. This cat was always attacking things that moves. Fluffy would chase a bag that would fall on floor or a ball moving. That day she was on her normal chasing mood as I was watching television. It was march, the weather was not perfect but good enough to enjoy and keep the window open. 

Normally we had good heat so strong it would be hot, so it was good to have window open. As she was running round, I noticed her staring out the window. Her head was just moving left and right staring at a bird who was going back and forth. The bird finally landed but landed on window seal. The cat seemed excited like she was waiting for the bird to land there. Next thing I saw was her running after the bird. Did I know what was going to happen next, no. Fluffy then jumped for the bird that was originally on the seal and the bird moved. My cat fell 5 stories out the window. We of course lost her “she did not have 9 lives.” I remember thinking.   That was my first experience with a cat. It didn’t go well. As time went by it did not get any better.

The next cat I received was when I was about 18 years old . Her name was Mimi. I was living with my boyfriend, and he saw a cat in the streets and for some reason was always around when we would be heading home. It was always seen almost three blocks from where we live. We somehow talked about the cat and really wanted to take the cat home. Getting the cat was not an easy task. This cat was fast, I mean “Flash” fast like from the show “flash”. We decided to make a plan that in maybe a week or so to get the cat to come home with us. We would see her and at the same time after work and we would get easy to open food and leave it around her. Then we would walk away so she can get used to having food from us so she can trust us.  The moments we had just implementing this plan was adorable.

 After time she started following as we walked. Only as far as block or two. One day she followed us all the way home but stopped when we got to the door. I Realized that Mimi was not ready to enter our house yet. So, I left the door open, and I had a can of food I placed on floor for her. After a little bit Mimi was ready, she came in. I know that sounds crazy, leaving doors open in Brooklyn (where I lived), but we had a house. So, we felt comfortable enough to do so.

The door I left open was by our driveway entrance. Not many people knew when we had door open or not. Only those who lived there. I guess she smelled the familiar food she loves to eat and eventually entered the home.

 It took her awhile to get used to us, but She finally became family and was with us for 2 to 3 months I would say.  I don’t remember if we named her or not. She had hazel eyes and a mix of black and brown fur. She also had a bad habit though. Her bad habit was leaving to do whatever cats did. She ran out once one of us opened the door even just a little bit. Again, she was fast, so she just slipped out.  At first, we thought she would never come back but she came back every time. She knew where her home was. One day I noticed she was gaining weight; she also went out less, but I didn’t think anything of it. She got bigger and bigger. We eventually found out she was pregnant.  I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised being she was a street cat who lived with us and had freedom. Now I knew why she went out there so much; to see her own companion.

 She gave birth I want to say two months later. I don’t know how long they stay pregnant, but it was time. We made a box for her and a small blanket so she can feel comfortable. I was told it would be best to leave her be because we don’t know when the babies will be coming out exactly. In the afternoon I heard a cat cry from her, so I came to her. When I looked there were 5 babies were laid by her. The sad part was all her babies were stillborn. (Meaning they were not alive). After giving birth to the still babies I noticed That she kept bleeding for a while and was losing energy. I was so unsure what to do. We looked up a vet and called one that was still open in the Bronx. (Where we moved to after a few years in Brooklyn.)

We then took a cab with Mimi in a box covered by a bigger blanket and made it to the vet in time. When we got there, I only saw one animal as we walked in. A golden dog medium size laying near their masters’ legs. We called ahead of time, so they knew it was us. My husband filled out the papers while I went to the back to see the doctor. After checking the cat out and asking us questions about the cat, he knew exactly what was wrong. He told us she had cat HIV. The vet said he can operate on her to stop bleeding, but the fact of the matter is it will just work temporarily. The Vet also mentioned it will cost us more than thousands of dollars. He also said it looks like she was in the late stages and would probably not make it longer than a month or so. He suggested that she be put down. Meaning let her pass away with a shot and without pain. I of course agreed because I did not have the funds and I did not want her in pain. I stood with Mimi for the procedure because I didn’t want her to be alone.  They gave her a shot by her back side, and she did a little cry. Mimi then just stared at me until her head rested sideways. I could tell she was no longer there anymore. I was fine for a bit knowing at that time there was nothing else to do but go home. As soon as the door closed behind me at the vet, I bawled out crying like if it was my child. It was more traumatizing than I thought it would be.

 The last time I was traumatized like that was when my mother had passed away at age of 10. Somehow, I think they were connected. Knowing I would never see them again.   For a long time after that I didn’t have any animals.

Until after I had my two boys. As my children got older, they managed to convince me to pick up a cat once again. Yes, I guess I didn’t learn my lesson the last time. My neighbor convinced me to take it home because her daughter could not stay with it anymore at her apartment. They were moving and management had rules about not having animals living there. I agreed to take in the cat, it made my kids happy. I also did not want another cat on the streets. Suffice to say this was an evil cat. She was a black cat, with a mean attitude. Anyone that walked by Her, she would try attack their ankles. My younger son and her would always fight because it always seemed to attack my son Damon more.  He started to regret having a cat. For some reason I can’t remember her name, which is funny. I guess because I blocked it out my mind for a reason.

After talking to my husband, we decided what the cat needed was another cat. One that would keep her occupied. The second cat reminded me of my first cat fluffy with better eyes with the white fur. The new cat and the other cat fought like cats in an alley. Which I found it funny saying that, but it was true. They knocked things down and jumped all over the place. They still managed to attack my younger son Damon. After the bruises my son was obtaining and the drama that was happening. I then decided I was going to give them away. I was able to give one away to a friend who says she really wanted one. The thing is when I dropped off this cat, I wasn’t ready for the surprise I saw.

The woman I knew had one cat and three dogs. One dog was huge, by the way it looked it could have been a Labrador Retriever, but I was not sure. That one scared my husband. The woman said the dogs are great with cats. They just must get used to them. At that moment I just let it happen, I just wanted them not in my home.

The next cat was harder to get out my home. She was the second cat with the white fur. I found a place to take her. it was an animal shelter. They promised that being the color of the cat she was, she would get adopted fast. Since I was in the Bronx in NYC, I had to take a bus. We kept her in a brown box, while walking to the bus, three blocks past my place she managed to get out. I chased her down 3 blocks. I know what you are thinking, “Why didn’t I just leave her in the streets?” I felt like as though a cat like that should not be in the streets. Her fur was too beautiful to mess up.   I finally got her back in the box after a fight and a few starches. Bring her to the shelter and wished them luck.

My cat journey was finally over so I thought. Nope a few months more my neighbor/friend said she had another cat, who needed a home. So, I fell for it again and another cat was in our home. Not a bad cat but I didn’t take much interest in it and but my husband (Ronald) on the other hand did.  So to make him happy I took this one in. All was well I think her name was missy. Are you noticing all these cats are female because I am. She was not a bad cat and was always laying on my husband, but it did shed. It was black with brown highlights. Hazel eyes.

We spoiled her with gifts unlike all the other cats. Maybe because she was younger, I want to say maybe a 1 year or so old. The other cats were older and stuck in their ways. Behavior wise, anyway.

 Living in New York in the Bronx was not getting better. Meaning there were more violence going on and more cops than we can count. We decided to move. Yet the cat was a good cat still had some hiccups like peeing on the floor and scratching some furniture. So I told myself this cat would not be going with us to our new home.

Especially finding our new home it was way too much leeway for the cat to mess up. We brought a house where the inside was mostly wood. Such as wood floor and door not including too many places the cat can hide.  I couldn’t deal with anything from animals anymore, so two weeks after buying the house and starting to move our stuff out. I waited for my husband to go to work one afternoon to call the same shelter I called last time. My husband worked over night, so it was easy to do.  Yes, it was wrong to do but he was not ready to give up the cat but I was.

It was a bit faster this time around because I knew the steps to take, and I had an actual cat cage this time around, so I knew the cat was not going to jump out. I also took a cab this time to make it faster. There were no other pets there so I went straight to the desk and let them know the situation and they said they will handle it from here and I was able to leave.

 I then got home 20 minutes later. My husband didn’t realize the cat was gone until the next day because he got home so late he was too tired to notice. When he realized it, he asked me about it. I told him straight out that I gave the cat away. He was upset with me and asked why I didn’t include him in this decision. I told him it was easier with him not knowing and I was not lying when I said the cat was not coming with us.  He thought I was joking but sadly I was not.

I also had to take into consideration I was moving to communicate with my sister Taina who lives 5 minutes from me and would like to come see me more.  I then found out she was highly allergic. Not only her it was her children as well, so it was a good idea not to take this cat with us for my sister’s sake and mines.  My husband was mad for a little while but finally faced the fact the cat is not coming back.

A little bit after we moved in to our new home my other sister Minerva had a birthday party in the park.. We all decided to go and celebrate my nephew Aiden.  Plus, my kids loved my other sister’s children they were like best friends.

While the kids were having fun me and my hubby decided to take a walk in the park not knowing how this would end.  While enjoying our walk he somehow mentioned the cat and how he missed it.  That somehow led to the biggest argument we ever had.  He thought that I didn’t take his feelings seriously and he never asks for much.  We argued for maybe 35 minutes maybe more. Until my sister came and separated us. He then walked away and took a long drive.  We eventually got pass that, but we never got another cat again.

Who would have known my sister would get a cat, but my husband was happy. I was not.  At that time, I just couldn’t stand cats anymore. It was just too much. My sister would show off the cat and buy things and I grew angry every time she talked about it. It was just how I was feeling at that time. My husband would video chat with her just to say hi to the cat. I guess I resented it a bit. We would come over and stay over and I would say I don’t want to be around her. She named the cat Nellie.  it was white with black and a hint of brown. She was calico breed. I never heard of it until I spoke to my sister but apparently that breed was known in the past to be good luck in the Chinese culture, so my sister was happy to have her.

When I was there, the cat would not go up to anyone, but she went up to me. I didn’t pet her or anything I would walk away. Again I had so many issues when I looked at a cat it upset me.  When I would sleep the cat would be staring at me or It would wake me up by jumping on me. I would get upset and ask my sister to keep cat out the room. But the more I came over the more used to her I was. I started feeding her when she was crying because I knew she was hungry. I started changing her water. I also started helping my sister with the litter box.

The more I came over, the less angry I was. After a while I left door open, and I even let her sleep near me. Realizing I was still angry but only because of what I been through in my past. So, I hate cats, but not this one so much.