Do Opposites Attract? Oh Yes!

They were different:  

One short, the other tall.

One slow and deliberate, the other always buzzing around like a bee.

One needed to be taken care of, the other determined to be a caretaker.

What a surprising love story! Hattie, the first in her family to move away from Ogdensburg since the Westbrook ancestors arrived in the 1700’s, took a teller’s job in NYC. Tremaine - from the Finger Lakes - was happy working in the 1920’s as a reporter for one of his father’s newspapers. Then the stock market crashed, Tremaine’s family lost everything, and he ended up at the Brooklyn Eagle writing an occasional news story.

In 1934 divine providence stepped in. Hattie and Tremaine met on a sweltering September night at a party thrown by a mutual friend, Steve. That night Hattie noticed Tremaine standing next to a large glass bowl, full of an orange-colored liquid spiked with who knew what.   

Although only 5’2” Hattie in her usual no nonsense manner moved across the room and asked the tall 6’1” Tremaine “Where can I get a glass?” And added. “I’m Harriet but everyone calls me Hattie.” “Bill’s mine even though my given name is Tremaine.”

The two went through the usual “Where are you from? “What are you doing in the city?” “Where do you live?” Then Hattie got down to more concrete things like: “My father owns a lumber yard, what business is your family in? “You have brothers and sisters? I have one of each.” Nothing seemed to match up.

Hattie told Bill about her family and said, “All of us really care for each other” which had great appeal to him as that was completely absent in his life. The fact was Bill knew his family as all siblings were shipped off each September to boarding schools in Canada when reaching 5 years old and then to summer camp as soon as they were back from school. Family love was as foreign to Bill as playing baseball with neighborhood kids, a thing he had never done. 

At the beginning both were smitten with each how. Bill told Steve that “Hattie is such a pretty gal and in really good shape”. That was code, for she has a very nice figure. More important, Hattie was down to earth, solid as a rock in planning her life, put on no airs, and fussed over Bill like no one had ever done before.

The first words out of her mouth to roommate Mag were: “Can you believe Bill asked me out tomorrow night” she blurted. “Who the heck is Bill?” Said Mag. Hattie settled down and told her that Bill was a tall handsome man in his late 20’s, thin, smartly dressed, beautiful manners and, to boot, born in Florence, Italy while his parents were traveling.

For the first date the two met at Johnny’s, a watering hole, halfway between where they lived. Hattie asked Bill what seemed like a million questions about how he had planned his future. Always the positive Hattie would add to each of Bill’s thoughts something like: “Oh that’s so interesting”. “I hope that works out for you.” And so on.  

“What about you Hattie?” Bill came back with after running out of questions. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe go back to Ogdensburg, get married and raise a family, who knows.” That’s all Bill could get out of her.   

A few dates later Hattie rushed over gave Bill a little hug and then said, “I am so excited because I have been offered a promotion by the bank if I agree to move to Albany.” Shocked was a mild word to describe Bill’s complete dismay.

“That’s great Hattie, but what about us?” was all Bill could come out with. Finally he’d met a girl he was getting serious about and here she was ready to leave town! 

Truth of the matter is that Hattie had no interest being a bank teller for much longer or moving to Albany. This was the litmus test for Bill. Is he serious or not?

“Well, this is a tough one. I’m really crazy about you, Bill. You feel the same about me?’ You do? Oh, that makes me so happy! I know it’s crazy, but we could get married and stay living in Brooklyn? Oh, that’s stupid! You wouldn’t want to do that.”

A pregnant pause settled in like a descending dark cloud, but not for long. “Funny thing” Bill finally spoke up, “I was thinking what it would be like if we were married, have a family and I decided that would be pretty nicest”,     

So hasty plans were made and three weeks later they were married! The marriage no doubt engineered by a determined Hattie with Bill agreeing to the plan, which he truly wanted, but was a bit fearful of.   

The pre-marriage happenings did not give Bill great confidence. Right after arriving at Hattie’s family home the day before the marriage her cousin Marg cornered Bill demanding to know “Who the heck are you asking for Hattie’s hand in marriage when nobody in town even knows you, your family, if you are a good Christian…!” A nonplus Bill, always well-mannered, tried to answer Cousin Marg’s questions thoughtfully and calmly but for sure must have worn a bewildered look a good part of that day.   

How did life for the pair of opposites go? At first it was a bumpy ride but then the two blended together in a union that worked with few hitches.  

The key to success of this pairing was the evolution of a tolerance, acceptance of the other’s less than perfect habits. The ways of life that would not or could not be changed. Bill’s nightly cocktails, then dozing in front of the TV, his “self-time” as he called it working in the green house cultivating the most gorgeous African Violets one can imagine. Then there was Hattie operating the vacuum cleaner at high speed frequently crashing into a table with a vase’s pieces then scattered on the floor.

“I swear Hattie you can dust the whole house with one Kleenex in 10 minutes”. Bill running a finger along the top of the coffee table. Not noted for her cleanliness Hattie also had a habit of leaving the refrigerator to its own devices storing leftovers way too long. The unfortunate person opening the refrigerator on those occasions was hit with an odor strong enough to clear the nostrils of an elephant.     

What really worked were the many undiscussed but finely tuned ways of getting along. At 6:00 am Hattie started her day with. “Bill your coffee’s on the table newspaper’s here.” Hattie knew there was no need for small talk about the kids or weather that early just her, especially in winter, getting out to heat up the car before heading to the station. Seated on the train Bill was off for another pressure cooker day in the advertising business. He wouldn’t have for world mentioned the not so pleasant odors from the family’s refrigerator which he, if left to his own devices, would have gotten rid of at the first whiff.

What attracted each to the other was the same right down the line. They found their mate to be attractive, hardworking but more important honest, caring, each committed 100% to the other.

Their differences made each stronger and a more complete human than had they marched down life’s path alone. Always a dapper dresser (Bill he had 26 suits in his closet) Bill’s keen eye for fine clothing rubbed off on Hattie. What pleasure each got admiring her new dress that she would have never purchased had there been no Bill. Her prowess on the golf course got this tall loping man on the links where Bill would get a hug after sinking a long putt. At that moment a seldom appearing sly smile would rise on his face. And then there were the rare occasions when something tickled Bill and he would cry like a baby. Hattie would gasps trying to catch her breath from watching Bill.  

At the end when Bill got to the last page of his life’s book Hattie was her stoic self. “Meant to be” and “He is in a better place” was all she said. He was laid to rest and for the next 10 years Hattie lived a quiet life and tried to make the best of her time by doing everything she could to help her granddaughter grow up. She never remarried. Never had a second’s interest in another man. So, in the end were Hattie and Bill opposites? Or were they deep down inside exactly the same where it really counts. I think the latter.