“Being safe is not always better than being sorry “
“Ana” the protected , naïve girl has always been too dreamy about her whole life in general. Her larger than life dreams often kept her docile spirit anxious. She would often wake up in the middle of night, with her heart racing like a wild horse, breathless, with her head spinning , her stomache getting upset , feeling nauseated and a fear that its her last night and she would be rushed in some ambulance to some ICU of the hospital and she would breathe her last with everything blurring before her eyes and would leave the world with unfulfilled dreams and a lot of heartache.
In a cruel and ruthless world, she wants to make it big. She lacks the shrewdness , the meanheartedness , the opportunist attitude in her nature and often her kind and generous nature is being taken advantage of. Her inability to be assertive in front of people who wronged her often would end up her hurting her loved ones with frustration and anger. Somehow , even after facing the biggest turmoils of her life , she could not become stiff and harsh.
Her oversensitivity would make her more prone to getting hurt again and again as she takes every little thing to her heart and overthinks about it. She analyses things so much that she has forgotton to live her life. She suffers from analyses paralysis.
While Ana was sitting on a couch sipping some coffee one fine day with her mom sitting besides her , she remembered when in 12th grade, her classmates made fun of her. Her biology teacher had commented on her that “Ana” was very bold and smart and one of “Ana’s” classmates made fun of her.
“HAHAHAH” , “Hey guys look , our timid “Ana” has been labeled as “Bold” by Mrs Briganza. “I haven’t seen the meekest creature than her.
“Really?” and the whole class was filled with laughter. Once a fellow classmate stole “Ana’s” practical file for a month for which “Ana “ had to face so much difficulty. Yes, Ana was indeed very meek.
She thought of becoming a doctor but was scared of practicals. “Don’t you dare take up Medicine , you are too fainthearted” her mother had once warned her.
She being very sensitive was being ruthlessly cheated and abused in her relationships. She trusted wrong people one after the other . “oh you are so sweet, so kind, so loving” People who came in her life would often lure her such. Then one after the other , they cheated her, betrayed her and gave her mental torture worse than death. And she had to survive the pain and the hurt everytime. She gave love and got cheating always. Not once or twice but “n” number of times . It devastated her trust so much that she gave up the idea of “marriage”. Afterall “husband” can cheat and be hurtful too and with the socio-legal tag and pressure of sustaining an institution which has nothing much to sustain … it would be an tormenting experience for her.
She ignored the voice of her intuition and the universe and just hope and prayed that her relationships would heal with time and she will get the people who love her and respect her and give her “wings” not “cage”.
But they did not . She continued making wrong choices in her life. Somehow being betrayed again and again repeatedly by every single person that she loved and trusted , only to be broken into pieces , the unnerving heart pain and ache again and again not only made her lose trust on others but also herself.
Those were the vivid thoughts in her mind . Ana had lost faith on her, the world the whole universe. She had become so negative it felt everyone was trying to control her and conspiring against her. “Everyone is a liar and a cheater” she would say to herself.
“Hey Ana”, “Where are you lost honey?”her mother patted her and offered her coffee to drink.
Ana put her heart out to her mother. Whatever she felt in her heart she vomited it to her mother, She was feeling very weak, very depressed and very lost as well.
Her mother listened to her very peacefully and also nodded her head once in a while. Although she did not agree to everything Ana said, as a mother she was patient enough to listen.
“Mom, I am not able to please men! I don’t know why do I get hurt by them again and again”. I don’t know why mom people hurt me again and again. They shatter me to pieces everytime”. “Why cant I get one man in the world who loves me truly for what I am …who does not cage me but becomes my sky?”.
“Hmm… my dear, now listen to me very carefully”. Her mother replied. Firstly stop this idealistic theory of “One Woman man theory”. We are mortals not angels. People make mistakes. They fall into the trap of lust, selfish interests and sometimes they just don’t get along well. And its perfectly OK. “ Her mom added , “We have to live our life often in co-ordination with one another so we get into relationships be it friends, colleagues, love, family etc etc. “
“Don’t take life so seriously that you don’t live it and just make a paranoia of everything”. “Whatever has to happen will happen eventually. We cant stop “living” by fearing death. “ It will come when it has to and for that one moment don’t waste this beautiful opportunity of being yourself.
“Don’t judge yourself my dear by your relationship status. What’s important is you accept yourself for the person you are and love yourself for what you are and you will find that gradually things will fall into place.”
“Drop all the prejudice, your discrimination, your expectations and above all your fears. Work on your talents and gifts and try to remain happy in them. Never lose your focus, and your faith come what may. “My dear life aint a fairy tale, along with the romance , bills need to be paid too”.
There is always a tussle between the weak and the strong between the survivors and non-survivors. If you are strong , you will survive and nothing can break you.
“Face your storms and fight your battles alone. Become your own partner.”
But “Mama”, Ana sobbed , “Can no man ever truly love me without possessing me”?
“Well, my child “ – her mom replied. Just remember it takes a lot of effort and patience for a beautiful relationship. Yes , there is lust, passion, attraction which might appear more than feelings like love, care, understanding, a strange loyalty – freedom combination. But you need to understand to strike a balance. Don’t try to control your partner , nor be controlled by anyone. Live and let live.
If you enter into marriage , it should be a union of two strong individuals who make a great team, keeping their individuality intact. “I am your mother and I want you to be happy and free and always strong”.
To keep up with relationships with others, you have lost track of the most beautiful relationship that you have and that is “Yourself”. Be wise anough to accept the “complete “ you.
“You have ruined your own relationship with yourself by making wrong choices, now its time to heal. Spend time with yourself and heal yourself. Become independent financially, emotionally, physically and have no expectations from anyone. Be in your own loving energy and peace. Be confident of yourself. Be competent , strong and fearless. You can always make up for yourself. Love others but never stop loving yourself!!!!!!!!” . On hearing these wise words, Ana regained her strength. She stood on her feet again to make a new start and promised herself that she will never give up on herself. She had realized that always playing safe leads to fears and one needs to break free…..be sorry for wrong decisions learn your lessons and just move on…..and both mother and daughter kissed and hugged each other .