One Last Day

Lin coughed. His long, straight, raven-black hair shined in the light of the bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Normally, it would not have shone so brightly, but the hair had remained unwashed for days, natural grease and oils now coating his head with a radiant glow. Although he usually liked to stay clean, Lin had not been able to use the shower or bath often as of late- doctor’s orders. This young man was relatively tall, his full height was hidden by the blankets on the hospital bed on which he was laying. 

Across from the sickly Lin sat the healthy Cory. The latter was, in more ways than just health, the antithesis of the former. His hair was on the shorter side, although the strands of hair were long enough to produce small curls across his head. It was blonde in color, resembling something closer to the straw ravens may take for their nests than the ravens themselves. Although he was the same age as Lin- in his early twenties- Cory did not have the same height as his friend, having stopped growing closer to five feet than six. The only trait diverging from these contrasts was Cory’s cleanliness- although, even then, he had clearly cleaned himself up more recently than his sickly friend. Truthfully, his appearance could be described more as ‘sloppy’ than ‘unclean’- his mismatched shorts and t-shirt making him look even younger than he was.

The two boys sat together- Lin in his bed, and Cory next to it. Between them was a small wooden table, set up on top of Lin’s bed so as to allow them to play cards together. Slowly, quietly, they discarded cards from their hands- only speaking to progress through their game. The sound of the medical equipment buzzed throughout the room, a constant reminder of why they were playing in the hospital, and not in either of their homes. They had been playing quietly for over thirty minutes before Cory finally broke the silence. 

“So…how many doctors do you think they have working here?”

Lin started laughing. “Wha…how many doctors? You’ve been mulling over what to talk about for half an hour, and that’s the best you can come up with?”

In an attempt to hide his blush, Cory looked away from his friend. Unfortunately, Lin had already seen, and started laughing even harder at the attempt to hide it. Frustrated, Cory muttered, “...maybe I actually want to know…”

“Hmm, how many doctors, huh? Well, there’s just the one that usually visits me, but I’ve certainly seen tons walking around the halls. It’s not as if this is a particularly large hospital, so maybe…sixty? Seventy?” Despite his teasing, Lin was more than happy to answer the question seriously. “Hard to say…especially as I do not always know who is a doctor or not- most of the time, the nurses can do just as much as the doctors can, honestly. Maybe we should expand the question to doctors and nurses…?”

Cory smiled to himself. While he was not the best at starting conversations, he honestly did not need to be. His years of friendship with Lin had taught him that the sickly young man loved the sound of his own voice- if someone proposed a topic, Lin could always find something to say about it, no matter how simple it was. Sometimes, Cory wondered if Lin even noticed that nobody was replying to him- he seemed content to just have the chance to voice his thoughts out loud. For someone like Cory- who was more than happy to sit and listen instead of contributing- there was no person more perfect to be his friend. 

“...and with all of these factors combined, I would guess that there are a combined…two hundred and sixty-eight employees at this hospital!” Satisfied, Lin shouted his conclusion. This turned out to be a mistake, as the energy he expended caused him to erupt into a fit of coughing. Cory immediately stood to help his friend, only for the latter to hold a hand out in protest. “I’m perfectly alright, just…need a second to breathe.”

Cory contemplated calling over one of the supposed two hundred and sixty-eight employees to help his friend. But he also knew that it would be of no use- normally, Lin would not be allowed to have visitors outside of his family in his condition. However, due to a special exception the hospital made, Cory was allowed to spend the night here- while he was, of course, grateful for this exception, the reason that they made the exception in the first place had less to do with boundless generosity than it did with knowing how little time Lin had left. 

“Someone might come by and check up on us,” Lin said suddenly, as if reading Cory’s thoughts. “I’ll make sure to keep myself under control, so they don’t have to go back on their word.” 

Cory said nothing. He knew that they wouldn’t go back on their word- the staff probably knew that there was no real point in doing so. While it would not necessarily happen that night, Lin was expected to pass away within the next few days- something which the doctors were painfully clear was unavoidable. Lin’s family would be back to spend the next couple of days with him, but today was reserved for the two friends- one last day together. 

As soon as these thoughts came back to him, Cory grimaced. He was trying to not think about why he was here, to just enjoy the time he had left with his friend. But when he asked Lin what they should do, the latter simply shrugged and said, “What’s wrong with the usual?” As if this wasn’t the last time they would see one another…

“Mm, okay, my turn for a topic.” Cory turned his attention back to Lin. Although it took Cory a long while to come up with these topics, Lin almost always produced one immediately. He also decided not to point out that he had not come up with a response to the previous topic- it was difficult to follow up such an intricate response, anyway. “How about…have you decided on a major yet?”

“Uh…” Cory had no idea how to answer this question. To begin with, he genuinely had yet to decide on a major. Although there were many subjects in which he excelled, it was not enough to drive him toward any major commitments. Secondly, he was shocked at Lin’s ability to all but address the elephant in the room- asking a question about the future that Cory would be absolutely unable to ask back.

“Uh-oh. Don’t tell me you still can’t come up with one? You’ll run out of undergraduate classes sooner or later, my friend! You can’t remain undeclared forever!”

Pain shot through Cory’s chest. Those words, coming from someone who actually would stay undeclared forever, hurt more than he expected. “Yeah, you’re right…uh, maybe some kind of science…?”

Lin nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense! You’ve always had incredibly high grades in science classes, right? But do you have a particular area of focus in mind…? Biology? Chemistry? Physics? And, what do you plan to do with this focus area? Will you be a teacher, perhaps? No, I can’t imagine you wanting to project your voice in front of a group of students…oh, maybe a researcher of some kind? I could see you quietly working away in a laboratory…hey, maybe you could discover a cure for- for a disease of some kind!”

Cory wondered if he had just imagined his friend’s hesitation. For a second, it seemed as if he was about to name his own disease, rather than leaving it vague. Lin was clearly trying to have a normal day with Cory, but even he could not keep a mask on for the entire day. Once more, Cory felt his heart breaking.

“...yeah, being a scientist sounds good, actually. For the focus…Biology, I guess.”

“Haha, ‘I guess’, huh? Well, a ‘maybe’ is better than nothing- I’m alright with a little victory.” Lin glanced at the clock. “Oh! I didn’t realize it was getting so late! Hm…what do you think, should we start thinking about turning in?”

“...but it’s my turn to think up a topic.” 

The sickly young man looked at his friend with a shocked expression. Usually, Cory made no attempts to prolong a conversation. “Oh! Well, if you’d like to go on, far be it from me to stop you. What would you like to talk about?”

Cory thought for a moment, struggling to decide on a topic more quickly than he usually would. “...tacos or burritos?”

“...while I commend you for coming up with a topic so quickly this time…oh, forget it. Burritos are delicious, but I think I prefer tacos- I would much rather have the opportunity to try multiple different options than one giant item. You could get, say, three tacos with completely different proteins! Even if you get the same protein on each one, you can customize with various toppings…maybe different salsas? Or some with sour cream, some without? Truly, tacos are the most customizable option, and therefore the best! And how about yourself, Cory?”

“...well, I like how full I get after I eat burritos, so I guess those. I don’t have a lot of different meats or toppings I want, so I don’t need a bunch of different options.” Cory tried to stifle a yawn, but it snuck out. 

“True, you always know what you want…hey, you seem like you’re getting pretty tired. We should probably-”

“...have a more exciting question for the next topic, I agree.” Cory interrupted. “Good thing you’re up.”

Lin held up both of his hands in defeat. “Okay, okay- if you want to stay up, far be it from me to stop you. Let me think…”

Thoughtfully, he cradled his chin in his hand. “Okay, here’s one. Do you think there is an afterlife? And…what do you think it is like?”

Silence enveloped the room. Once more, the only sound that could be heard was the light buzz of the medical equipment. Sweat trickled down Cory’s face, each drop colder than the last. 

“I…” His mind was blank- he had no idea how to respond to such a pertinent question- something so relevant to the situation at hand. Was there an afterlife? What is it like? Which answer would be best here? Something hopeful, probably, but what? 

“I’m not sure if I believe in an afterlife, honestly.” Lin answered his own question before Cory could think of a response. “I would like to think that there is, but I’m just not convinced. Sure, it’s possible- but I feel like it’s more wishful thinking than anything else. And even if there were an afterlife, who is to say that it’s some paradise reward that we earn through our deeds in life? Who is to say that it is not just a holding cell for our souls, waiting to return to Earth in a new form? …but maybe that would be nice, in its own way. Another chance at life. I still don’t think I believe in anything, though.”

Cory could have sworn that Lin’s expression darkened as he spoke. He wondered why his friend had asked a question like this- was it to express his sorrow? Was he looking for comfort? Even in normal conversations, Cory was out of his depth- something like this was far out of his reach. So instead of overthinking it, he decided to go with his gut- to tell the truth.

“I think there is an afterlife,” he said, “But it’s not some crazy paradise that we have to earn. It’s not a holding cell, or whatever you want to call it, either. The afterlife…I don’t think it’s something that’s good or bad in a straightforward way, I think it’s just a place where we go and spend time with the same people we knew in life. So if you’re someone who…didn’t really get along with people…maybe you don’t have a super fun afterlife, and it just kinda sucks. But if you knew a lot of people and liked them and they liked you…well, maybe you get to spend the afterlife with them, hanging out and chatting. Just…talking about how many angels are hanging around the building, or which foods are best, or how long eternity really is or whatever.”

That was, perhaps, the most Cory had said at one time in his life. Lin's jaw hung out in shock- more over the quantity of the words than the content. He took a few moments to recover, then considered what his friend had said. “You know…that doesn't sound too bad. I mean, I guess it's pretty rough for…for people who pass a little younger. But maybe time will pass in the blink of an eye? Maybe God or the gods or whatever ends up being the case would just let those people rest until they have someone to talk to. Or those deities would…keep people company themselves, even. That would be pretty nice, I imagine. And a good way to spend time.” 

Cory nodded, unsure of what to say. Lin had dropped the mask even further- his stake in this conversation was so thinly veiled that the curtains may as well have been drawn. “...yeah. I bet a deity would have a bunch of cool things to say.”

“...but nothing nearly as meaningful as what one can discuss with their friends.” Tears glistened in Lin's eyes. The mask had finally faded completely. “I'll be waiting for you, Cory. It's okay if you take a while, but…find me eventually, okay?”

“...I will.” 

Lin reached his hand out toward Cory. The latter held out his own hand, lacing his fingers between his friend's. Together, they held that position- chatting, asking and answering new questions. Their cards lay forgotten between them, no longer necessary to pass time between topics. Even the quiet Cory had managed to find his stride as far as proposing topics, although he never quite gave a response as intricate as the one he had earlier. All the while, Lin happily chimed in with his responses to the questions, and questions of his own.

Eventually, the hands of the clock turned toward dawn. Cory and Lin, fighting sleep, had managed to stay up all night. As if waiting for that queue, a nurse knocked and stepped into the room. 

“Good morning! Did you two enjoy yourselves yesterday?” He paused as he glanced at the untouched bed to Lin's side. “Oh. Maybe you should take a little nap before your family returns, Lin. They should be here in an hour or two.”

The mask returned to Lin's face. He smiled, letting go of Cory's hand. "Of course- I'll be sure to do so. Thank you for the reminder, Sergio." 

Sergio glanced at Cory. “Did you need any help finding your way out?” 

Cory shook his head. The dismissal was not subtle, but it was effective enough for the exhausted Cory. He stood up, shaking his legs awake. “Just gonna say goodbye before I leave. That's cool, yeah?” 

"Of course." Sergio walked out of the room once more, giving the friends some space. 

Once the nurse left, Cory and Lin embraced. They had talked through the night, and ran out of things to say to one another. When they finally separated, a look of understanding passed between them- Cory nodded at Lin, and Lin nodded back.

As he left the hospital, all Cory could think about was the conversations he could have with Lin when they were reunited.