Made of Fear

Submitted into Contest #42 in response to: Write a story that ends in the past.... view prompt



DAY 5 - 9:00 AM

“Guess what, Luis!” Martin calls from his window, “They found the fingerprints!”

The gun rockets onto his neck, the chamber locks and the bullet flies into his veins, a flower of red blooms on his skin.

He falls to the ground. As white as a sheet.

DAY 4 - 7:00 PM

“Luis, can Iet you in on a little secret?”

The two men sat around an outdoor table around their swaying backyard campfire, which was filling the air with fiery sparks.

“Tell me.” Luis nodded.

“I’m Owen Moore, would you believe it.”

“Oh.” Luis’s face started to dampen, his heart raced at an uncountable speed, and he began to tap his toe on the ground.

“Game’s over, Luis. If you don’t surrender right now, I swear we’ll do it the hard way.” The whole accent melted and became a serious growly voice.

“Christina’s waiting for me to put her to bed.”

Luis walked into his house, he could feel Martin’s gaze burning his back as he slipped past the pale pink door.


“Love you, mi amor!”

Christina smiled a sweet buttery smile and her eyes closed gently under the light of the stars that were hanging on her pink ceiling.

“Love you papa.”

DAY 3 - 4:00 PM

Luis’s finger slid along the dusty newspaper.

His eyes glued onto the article

Green Gold

By Zadie Angelos

Detective Owen Moore is attempting to solve the case. GREEN Bank was robbed 1 week ago. All of its money is gone. Moore promises that he will solve the case. He has found fingerprints, they are going into testing. We will receive the results in 2 days, rest assured people of Golden Crescent.

Luis shivered. Two days. He had a daughter. What was he going to say?

“Hello Martin!”

Luis opened the door and found Martin in his front yard sipping orange juice.

“Mornin’ Luis! I can’t believe one man stole all the money at GREEN!” It sounded like an accusation but Luis brushed it off.

“I know. He must have been really smart!”

“Uhuh. So, tell me Luis, Did you have any money at GREEN?”

“No-mine’s at Crescent Bank.”

“Good for you! Funny thing is that my money’s there too!”


“Really. Well-I better get goin’ now! Luis, take care!”

DAY 2 - 8:30 AM

“Papa! There’s a new neighbour!” Christina said through mouthfuls of colourful Fruit Loops.

“Si-Yes, mi amor!”

Luis walked outside joyously in beach clothes, hand in hand with his daughter who was dressed in her violet, polka-dotted bathing suit.

“Hello there! You must be-” a pale-faced man said. His nose was sharp, it sat defiantly under his faded eyes. They must have been bright tangerines of colour in his youth, but they had faded into a worn Beatle yellow.


“Louis. Am I pronouncing that correctly? Louis. Uhh-Luis. Ok I have it.” The man said in an irritating Texan accent.

“You are-”

“Martin.” He laughed.

“Ok then, neighbour, you are welcome to visit anytime.”


The two drove home from the beach around dusk, the moon was appearing tortoise-like and the stars were stroking themselves out of white paint. They both came salty-haired into the house, laughing.

“Luis! You better come over for a barbeque tonight!” Martin shrieked from the other side of the yard.


Martin’s yard was straight from the magazines. Little lanterns glowed like pink stars, they spiralled around the white picket fence. The red light was twinkling on the fresh-cut grass. The ember-stroked poppies were clustered in one section underneath the big apple blossom, which was shedding pale white blooms. Tons of people laughed like a chorus of beautiful melodies and wisps of salty and sweet fragrances drifted around. 

“So, Luis! Where do you work?” Christina had gone to play with a blonde girl with fresh dawn eyes, their giggled echoed from the other side of the lawn. Luis and Martin sat on two beach chairs.

“Uhhh. I’m a-I don’t work.” Luis could feel his nervousness building up.

“Oh well, how do you pay for that beautiful house?” It was a rude question, but Martin pulled it off.


“Oh yes-yes.” Martin nodded.

There was something about this man that Luis really didn’t understand. The way he nodded and grinned. It was all fake.

DAY 1 - 4:00 PM

The intricate Painted Ladies lined the road with the carefree joy they produce, shining in crisp autumn sunlight. The clouds parted swiftly, as the trees begged for rain thirstily. Luis stood, his eyes caught on a wide-shouldered man. The man’s face was sharp and angled, his eyes were covered in thick black glasses. A bead of sweat began to roll down Luis’s neck.

He really didn’t mean to.

It was a dark starless night, the full moon was bluer than ever, shining faintly with an enigmatic glow. Luis stood, He ran into the bank. His attentive eyes scanned the entrance, he noticed a glowing gecko, the glow faded. It was stepped on by a guard, he shivered. He picked the lock with a pin and jumped into the cold atmosphere. There were guards, plenty. But guards only notice people who make marks where they stand. Luckily, Luis had treaded the earth lightly, he was a nobody. He snuck past a few armed men and ran into the vault. Everything was cold, the air felt heavier and thicker. That was the day his blood changed, everything inside him felt MORE vigilant and MORE scared.

The man with the heavy glasses was a policeman. He didn’t want to draw attention, he shivered.

“Oh, papa.” A little girl, with curls of caramel hair ran down to him. Her face was bright and round, filled with eyes like mossy rocks, nickel greys dotted the sides and deep in the center a radiance of a mossy green hummed delightfully.

The bold happiness, like a red swirling butterfly shone on her face. He inhaled it like golden cream. 

“What is it, Christina, mi amor?”

“I got all one hundred on my science quiz, papa!”

“Ohh, that is maravillosa!”

He held the dancing angel in his arms and stared at her in a way that meant indefinite love. Love that could flood the world in hearts and blessings. The three of them, Christina, Luis and Love stood in the driveway. Luis shivering at the thought of the police officer. Christina had a sunshine look on her face, and love, outwaying Luis’s fear into a grand circle of rosy warmth.

May 21, 2020 22:49

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Rachel MacLean
23:36 May 28, 2020

I enjoyed this story, especially the beautiful metaphors you used. The only thing I found a bit confusing was the different days and times, but great story overall! :))


ℤ ℍ☮️
23:58 May 28, 2020

Thank you! I was trying something new by writing everything backwards. I'm sorry that it was confusing. I'm happy that you enjoyed it.


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