CryoSleep

Well it turns out that when you are traveling for several months through space, cryopods are pretty nice. If you are traveling through a self driven spacecraft there isn’t really much to do, hence the cryosleep. Not only does it prevent you from getting bored, it also slows your aging and metabolism. For the Newmans who were flying on the The Sparkler Flight No. 174, the cryo pods had a small problem: they didn’t freeze up.

“Hey, Jim, when will this pod freeze us?” asked Emma Newman

“I don’t know, how about you ask the pilot? Oh, wait there isn’t one. I told you we should have bought the other flight.”

“Well we didn’t and now we are accelerating into a three month journey where we will be so conscious and soooo bored.”

“Let’s just get out of this (beeping) pod. Isn’t there an emergency open button or something?”

“How would you expect a person in cryosleep to push the-”

“Found it!” Jim said as he pushed a red button and the temperature dropped. After a slight hissing sound the door opened dramatically, with fog spilling out into the surrounding room. Jim stepped out and surveyed the surrounding room, glad to be free of his claustrophobic confines.

“Well now that your pod is open would you just skip the theatrics and open mine.” yelled Emma, who couldn’t find the button about three feet from her face.

Jim, taking his time to open the pod said, “Hey, do you think that they have any good food here?”

“Well, let’s see. The nearest restaurant is about a hundred and fifty miles away by now, so I think that they would have plenty of food for the people in cryosleep. Just open my pod!” The last part Emma practically yelled.

After the pod was opened (with a less dramatic plop) Emma stepped out exasperated and shivering. She glared at Jim. Jim absently inspected a poster about how the cryopods works. Emma glared harder, hoping Jim would look at her. After that went on for about 30 seconds, Jim looked down and jumped at the intensity of her stare.

“Well, the food I was talking about.”

“No.”

Jim pulled out a melted chocolate bar from his pocket and said, “I was hoping the cryopod would freeze it before I got to it, but this will suffice.”

Emma just stared and blinked at him. “You had a chocolate bar this entire time and you didn’t tell me?”

“No, two chocolate bars.” At this Emma displayed visible frustration. She held out her hand, hoping to get the other chocolate bar. He gave her one of those small fun sized bars. Emma displayed even more visible frustration at this concept. She threw it in her pod to save it for later.

“How will we get into a working pod?” Emma asked.

Jim ignored her and just stared at that poster on how the pods worked.

“How will we?” Emma asked.

“We probably need to replace the temperature sensor. The poster said so.” Jim told her factually.

“How will we get those?”

“They stock them at Targets across the world.”

Emma just slapped him.

“What was that for?”

Emma slapped him again.

“We could find one in the storage.”

“Now that is helpful.”

Jim slapped Emma.

“What was that for?”

After confusion about where the storage was they finally found it. If they looked at the airport style signs hanging from the ceiling and telling them where to go they could have found it earlier. The room was rather large and full to the brim with bins of spare parts and not one, but two giant teddy bears.

“Let’s split up. You go left, I go to the teddy bears.” That was Jim.

Emma held up an uno reverse card. Now she was the one who checked the teddy bears.

After five minutes Jim came back and Emma knew they had to switch places. After about thirty seconds of having to switch, Jim yelled to Emma.

“I found the temperature sensor. It was right behind the teddy bears. Emma, what were you doing with the teddy bear?”

Soon after they found what they all that they needed the Newmans needed to leave the storage area. At this point in time they found themselves in a fork in the hallway. Jim decided to go left, Emma decided to go right.

On Emma’s path she saw the ceiling sign telling her which way to get to the cryo chamber. “I found it!”

“You might have but you have to come here.” yelled back Jim.

“Will you go to the pods after?”

“Yup!”

Emma walked back to Jim, annoyed but also knowing he wouldn’t give in. As Emma turned the bend she saw it and instantly felt a crowd of emotions, ranging from embarrassment to straight up confusion. She walked into a food court. And a Target. At the same time. The Target’s shelves full of the temperature sensor’s and other tech items. It was as if the universe had made all the dumb things Jim said come true just to annoy her.

Then she realized it. Jim had found the holodeck and was project this entire area into existence. “Why did they have a Target-food court simulation on the holodeck?”

He held up a USB thumbdrive.

“Again, why do you have this on a thumbdrive?”

“You don’t?”

Exasperated, Emma just gave up. “Now will you just fix the pods?”

“Sure, I guess,” and they walked back into the cryo chamber. Jim started working on the pods while Emma ate her chocolate bar (the fun size, if you remember). After Jim messed around in the pod (basing all of his work off of the poster) he finally said they were ready. Emma had finished the tiny chocolate a long time ago.

“Alright, this should work. Get in.” said Jim.

“You first, you’re the one who fixed it.”

“And you’re the guinea pig.”

“Fine,” said a very annoyed Emma, getting into the machine.

Jim pressed some buttons to initialize the freezing, and the exact same thing as before happened. It got chilly, but it didn’t freeze them. “Hey, Jim, I think you broke it.”

“Well, obviously”

“Can I try to fix the pod.”

“Ok, I guess,” said a very disappointed Jim.

Emma got out of the pod and started poking around inside. She had no idea how the pod even worked. After about thirty seconds she gave up and started looking at the buttons on the outside. Looking at the main control panel she saw an array of dials, but one stood out to her. The temperature dial was set to “Refrigerate”, not “Cryosleep.”

“Hey, Jim, the pods were set to keep us cool, not make us sleep.”

“Oh, come on,”

Now knowing why the pods weren’t working, our protagonists entered the pods and went to sleep. This time it worked. They would wake up and be at their destination, with a story to tell. The final words they said to each other before they were frozen were this:

“See you in three months Jim!”

“See you- wait, I was wondering where this burrito went!”