"Hidden Within The Snow"

Written in response to: Write a story that hides something from its reader until the very end.... view prompt


Sad Drama Horror

There is a legend many tell

Of a beast in the snow

However it is only seen

As the snow starts to glow

To glow

Glimmering a bright silver white

It is born from the ground

However only at first light

The sun will come up

Shining brightly across the snow

What the beast looks like,

No one truly will know

That is until the prophecy is fulfilled

And the blood debt has been paid

Only then will the beast take orders

And truly obey

In another hundred years

The tale of the monster in the snow has spread wide

Many begin to seek out it’s presence

Where will it reside?

Some believe it is a serpent

While others believe it is a demon is wolf form

It it said to have strange power

And the heart of a storm

No one alive has seen it

However there have been records from the dead

The living found messages written in stone

With the purpose of being read

This is how the legend was known to be real

However many believe it is not

“You should not always believe what you read”

Is what the children are taught

Most headhunters believe in the big money

And the fame

So they hope to hunt this beast

For the huge gain

This winter is harsh and constant

The cold will not stop till spring

However I am sure you may take the risk

If you knew what the find may bring

What do you believe this beast may look like

Or what powers may it possess?

I wonder how long it will take

For someone to guess

Another hundred years have passed

And the beast still is not seen

The belief of the myth

Is starting to be wiped clean

1,354 men have died now

Searching for the beast

What they tried to gain

Now has them all deceased

They are somewhere within the mountains

Dead and cold as their blood slows down

Perhaps even in a nearby lake

Because they had drowned

A young lady one day

Decides to go help her dad gather wood

He was really sick…

So she did all she could

She helped cook for him

And build a fire

They both lived in a log cabin

However the conditions were dire

She lost her mother at ten years old

Now she is seventeen

However she never knew what was watching her

She never knew,because it was never seen…

Deep within the woods

She went to retrieve wood for their home

It followed her every step of the way

And while she was inside,it would roam

She heard a twig snap

Then quickly turned around

She was staring at a huge white wolf

And refused to breath a sound

Her body tensed

As the heat overcame the cold on her skin

She froze like a statue

And her nerves ran very thin

She steadied her stance

And her breath got real slow

The wolf walked toward her

What would happen? She did not know

Something came up beneath the wolf’s feet

And it started whimpering loud

Within seconds the creature was silent

And bleeding on the ground

Blood soaked into the snow

And the beast’s neck is now broken

It’s eyes had rolled back into its head

And not another word was spoken

She broke into a sprint

Dropping the wood,and running away

However this was not over,

The beast wanted to play

She ran stomping through the snow

And holding back a tear

She had no idea what has just happened

It was not at all clear

Her heart raced

As her nerves were shot

Her breath was short and desperate

And her throat was caught

It was almost dawn

And the sun was shining across the snow

She hoped to run till the light came up

So maybe she would know

Know what to spot

As the light shined down

Something quickly grabbed her leg

And pulled her to the ground

She felt claws dig into her foot

As she screamed out of fear and pain

What the hell was chasing her?!

By catching her,what would it gain?

She was brought to the ground

Slowly freezing as seconds past

The light finally came up

When she saw,she gasped

This creature took the form of a man

But had the eyes of a snake

The sight was startling

And her body started to shake

This creature had a sharpened tongue

That traveled to her face

She quivered under the slimy touch

And smelled the poison it placed

Only mere seconds later the man smiled,

And her face started to burn

She was sick to her stomach

And it started to churn

The grip on her leg tightened

Til she felt no blood flow

The man just looked at her in delight

Not wanting to let her go

He took his other hand

With more of his sharp animal-like nails

And put it to his lips as if to say “Be Quiet”

Suddenly she noticed he was way too pale

He smiled once again

And his teeth showed

They seemed like razors

As he pale skin glowed

He spoke no words

But his expression showed his previous kills

He liked watching fear rise in his victims

It must be for his thrills

She looked back in terror

As he tightened his grip

She tried to break free

But the monster just pursed his lip

Her body was going numb

As the cold grew

The strange man dragged her into the snow

And with two breaths,the girl was gone too…

Her breath choked back in her throat

As the ground slowly ate away

She was buried alive

And the creature no longer wanted to play

He was done

And ready to go hide again

The girl died minutes later

And her life began to bend

Her body got cold

And her mind went dry

The life left her body

But she did not completely die

So back from the dead

She arose from the ground

She was ready for her first kill

And heard every little sound

She heard her father’s faint breath

And the beat to his heart

She then retraced her steps to the cabin window

Just to start…

She looked at him

As he sit in his favorite recliner chair

She craved the kill

All she could do was stare

The cold bothered her no longer

As she crept around to the front door

Her skin was now pale

And she was on all fours…

She felt stronger

And faster as she quietly walked into the house

Not too long after

She spotted a mouse

She could feel the heat

And taste the blood on her tongue

She walked quickly into the living room

And her father’s head was rung

She quickly twisted his neck

And dragged him outside

She cut him,and licked the blood

Then left him on the ground to reside…

I hope you enjoyed yet another story

I personally think this was quite a tale

It was completely unexpected

Yet another story to set sail!

I try to keep you readers hooked

By coming up with new ways

I hope to keep you entertained

Especially on rainy days!

It was rainy here

So I sat down,and create ideas in my mind

I hope these stories continue to amuse

And of course keep you in a bind

Thank you once again

For reading once more

Until I write once again

Be free to soar

To soar with your imaginations

About what may happen next time

After all,the more I write

The better I rhyme…

December 27, 2023 22:29

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.


Larissa Araujo
13:11 Jan 23, 2024

I tried to imagine this creature in a good way haha ​​​​it's raining and cold here so it was wonderful, I hope you're well and enjoyed the holidays, I'm glad you found someone who loves you and takes care of you you, I'm going to try to be here more, I'm going to start a course and continue at college so it's going to be a challenge but it was something I already wanted before I even joined, thank you for the story my little one❤️


23:37 Jan 23, 2024

Thank you,I deeply appreciate it! You are always welcome,and I wish you good luck!


12:21 Jan 31, 2024

I have also posted a new piece,it's the "Advice" I was hoping to give along with a ladies point of view. I would very much appreciate feedback on weather it is accurate or not when you get the chance! I will talk to you later lovely!


Larissa Araujo
21:55 Feb 05, 2024

I just read the advice, and wow, I loved it, it brings a mix of wonderful feelings and perfect points of view, yes they really have to be more careful with us haha ​​I like reading with intensity and this one was perfect, I started a recent book and I'm going to recommend it “a court of thrones and roses” and it is very good, I look forward to more beautiful stories that only you can create💕


23:41 Feb 05, 2024

thank you lovely!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.