Laika

The screaming and warbling of alarms jolt me awake. The rumbling of my shuttle vibrates my body violently. I don’t remember this part. This was new, and much scarier than all the training they put me through. Did I fall asleep? What happened? Where did everyone go? I’m alone now. Dizzy. My insides crawling to get out of me. My ears throbbing with pain.  

Make it stop. Why won’t these noises stop? Stop yelling at me!! The alarms slowly fade away one by one. The red and yellow lights that once illuminated my face now leave me mostly in darkness. The rumbling subsides. I snort out a hard breath of relief. Too soon. 

A radio crackling invades my eardrums instead. Swarming and stomping inside of my head. I paw at my ears trying to shut out the noise.

Abrasive knocks attack my shuttle as latches loosen and shift around me. After one last clang, my shuttle is thrust further to wherever they send me. I feel myself begin to float but my harness keeps me tied down.

“What is going on?!”, I bark. The crackling begins to calm as a voice tries to push through the static. It’s familiar. Settling. “-ka”, it calls. “Lai-“. There’s more static but it’s less abrasive than before. 

I know this voice. A soft, soothing baritone. Vladimir? VLADIMIR! I call for him. Over and over I call for him. He doesn’t respond. Minutes of static go by but it feels like an eternity. Finally, he croons to me. 

“Dorogaya, milyy. Can you hear me?” More crackling. Out of my viewport, there is nothing but black. I try to stand but there isn’t much room to move. 

I whine. “Vladimir! I’m scared. I can’t see anything, or anyone.”

There’s a pop accompanied by Russian chatter. Are they celebrating? Vladimir attempts to soothe me but all I want are answers. I bark at him repeatedly until he finally responds.

“Laika, my darling, do not fret. You have made history. You are the first of your kind to be launched into space.” Unlike the background, he doesn’t say this with pride. Regret is heavy in the sigh he takes before he continues. “You will live and die among the stars.”

His words ring clear. I wish they hadn’t. Die? Die?! I don’t want to make history. This is not what I signed up for. I didn’t agree to this. I cry to the sound of their cheers and laughter. I want to be free from this hurling metal deathtrap. I was better off on the streets of Moscow where they lured me from. I was content. How dare they tear me from my familiar and comfortable surroundings into a destiny I didn’t ask for. I writhe and wriggle but my bindings keep me strapped tightly to the inside of my fatal trappings. 

“We’ve left some small gifts to help make your journey more bearable.” A timer dings followed by a small bowl that drops before me. Inside of it lies the treats Vladimir’s children would give me. A goodbye gift. How kind of them. My bindings also loosen. That’s the real kindness. I lean forward to stretch my front legs and my back. It feels so good I let out an unintentional squeak. I lengthen my two hind legs one by one before taking one of the five treats from the bowl. Five. How gracious of them. I eat one of them hastily.

“This is an understatement, but try not to be scared, my darling. Putting you in this predicament was a necessary evil for the good of man. You will be the smallest but brightest star in space. You will die a hero in the eyes of the world.”  

If I’m killed simply for being small, then let death be kinder than man.

The sorrow and pity in his voice anger me to no end. I alternate between yelling and whining. I paw at my viewport until a shape comes into view. A majestic, bright and blue shape. It’s beautiful. I can’t quite comprehend what exactly it is, but it brings me peace. More of it comes into view as I hear Vladimir continue to droll on but I’m too distracted to care what he’s saying. I’m in awe. 

“You will be doing something no one else has ever done. You will be orbiting our home planet. You will be orbiting the Earth. You are setting the stage for the human race and the future of space travel.”

I yawn a big yawn. I feel the need to lay back down. I don’t fight it. The coldness of the floor feels so satisfying on the fur of my chin. My eyelids droop as I struggle to keep up with Vladimir’s droning. I give in and am whisked away into sleep.

“Sadly, this journey is not one that you will return from. We do not yet have the technology to bring you back home safely. When your shuttle has completed the amount of rotations around our planet that it is capable of, whenever that may be, it will crash land back into the Earth. Neither our instruments, nor you, will survive. I am sorry for this.

“It was not my choice to pluck you from your life to do our bidding, but unfortunately, that is what has happened. Due to where you are currently traveling, we will lose contact soon. It will be for an entire day. When we regain your signal, I will attempt contact again. I hope you have eaten one of your treats. They will help you sleep. So sleep well, dorogaya. Be brave.” 

I am with Vladimir. He holds me in his lap as the black disc emits the soft, but melancholy noises atop the contraption the family sits around. Music, he called it. I had never heard anything like it. Despite the sadness I feel from listening, I enjoy it. Or perhaps, I enjoy the company. It reminds me of ourfirst meeting.

Humans were often unfriendly. I knew the bottom end of a broom all too well. I was chased, kicked, yelled at simply for surviving. Who made it a crime for a dog to fish for scraps in a trash bin? I wasn’t asking for anything else. I was doing them a favor. Why did they hate me for it?  

Vladimir was the friendliest of humans I encountered. I awoke one morning to find him sitting at the corner of the alley I slept in. Like he was waiting for me. I bark to get his attention. He turns to me and delivers a toothy grin. His face was mostly that. A slender and balding, smiley man. He chucks something at me that breaks apart as it lands. It smells delicious sweet so I gobble it in an instant. He throws another piece closer to him. He repeats this until we are now next to one another. He reaches his hand out me. I stare deeply at him as I give his hand a sniff. Smells harmless. There’s a kindness to what I see before me, so I have a sit. He pats my head and I think to myself, who knew humans could be such a thing? 

I look at Vladimir as the disc finishes rotating. His eyes are closed. How could he fall asleep to sounds like these? I shock him awake with one bark. The children laugh. He comes to and gives me his toothy grin. He pats my head before I leap away from him and let his children give chase. 

Is this what I have been missing out on? I have often thought less of those with the strap of leather attached to their necks. A slave to those who stand over us. If that were the price I were to pay for this lifestyle, I think I would be ok with it. 

I awake much more peacefully this time. The music from my dream plays now. It would be enjoyable but it has become so warm inside of my shuttle. The discomfort is swarming. It isn’t long until I begin to pant. The music softens and Vladimir speaks. “Laika, are you there? Can you hear me? There has been a malfunction with one of the instruments aboard your shuttle. Give us a sign you are still there.”

Malfunction? What does that even mean? It’s so warm it’s difficult to think. I bark twice at him. 

“If you are still alive, bark, anything.”

I bark until I am hoarse. 

 “We cannot hear you but I hope you can hear me. Due to the malfunctioning parts, the heat inside of the shuttle will begin to become unbearable.”

He is correct on that account. The heat is unbearable. My fur is drenched. It makes me want to sleep.

“Based on the condition of the shuttle, the heat will take you long before the shuttle makes its final descent. The treats left for you are to help you sleep. Each from me and my family. I hope upon seeing them, you have eaten all of them, so you may drift sweetly into the cosmos and not have to endure a suffering you do not deserve.”

So, this is it, then. My final moments. I eat the last of the treats left for me, accepting the fate they have chosen for me. 

“I hope, for my sake, you are at peace. You will sadly not be the last we do this to, but I hope in your final moments, you think of the kindness I tried to give you when I brought you home with me that day. The time you spent with my family. How you slept so soundly upon my lap. I pray it was as joyous a day for you as it was for us. Rest well, milyy.”

 I no longer try to stifle my yawns. They come more and more frequently. I lay down and listen to the music playing throughout my shuttle. I close my eyes and take myself back to Vladimir’s lap. His children. His wife knitting in the chair opposite of us. Despite the heat, I feel a small chill upon my back. It’s soothing. Similar to when a drop of what Vladimir was drinking fell upon my back. He wiped his hand sweetly upon my back and felt an affection I had never known before. I hold onto that memory as I breathe deeply and let myself be whisked away once again. One final time to where they sent me.