Help is not on the way

(TW: mental health, animal cruelty)

One of her hands was reaching for the darkness and the other was trying to wipe the tears rolling down her face. Rena was wondering how much of what happened to her was real and how much was the result of her imagination. The sky was particularly dark that night, just a few stars here and there, and she was feeling tired. It was not physical exhaustion that she felt, the exhaustion had more to do with her soul than anything else. The kind of exhaustion someone feels after trying over and over but to no avail. 

How can I go back? If you can hear me, please come and take me back...

Nothing. The river, the trees, the clouds, the moon behind, even the animals that used to roam around -- they were all silent. It’s not as if she expected a response right away, but the lack of noise was starting to weigh on her. She felt deserted.

That was the third night in a row she went to that place -- an old well in a misty, dimly-lit forest, with twisted trees shrouded in fog. How did this happen? She had no idea. But had she known how to leave again, she would have been long gone by now. 

I don’t even know why I come here anymore. Maybe for answers, maybe for some type of closure. I guess my memories are all that I have left, but I’m not sure of anything anymore... Can I even trust myself?

And she had the right to question everything when her mind was telling her about places and people that were nowhere to be found. 

She knew it was her fault. She was not careful with the rules. Maybe she thought they would make an exception for her.

Oh, silly girl...

Either way, she was now back home, in her quaint little town with cobblestone streets, where nothing seems to have changed. The buildings looked the same, the smell was the same, the same sounds, the same frozen-in-time place she was born and grew up in. Rena was walking slowly, trying to process everything, but her brain couldn’t form a single logical thought, so she ended up thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. Her eyes were wandering around, from one place to another, eager to solve the puzzle in her head. But she was missing too many pieces.

She started to walk fast, not paying attention to her surroundings anymore. She had an idea, and unsure as she was of it, she decided that it was better than doing nothing.

Alright! she said, after a long staring contest with a broken traffic light. I might as well do that!

Since her return home, she hasn’t noticed anything peculiar. It’s as if she was never gone. Her mother was always busy with work, most of the time out of town, and didn’t look after her that much. Rena was free to do as she pleased -- a curse in disguise.

She decides to go and grab her sketchbook. Maybe if she starts drawing everything she remembers, real or not, her memories would stop fading away that fast. Rena loved drawing and what better source of inspiration for a talented young girl than a literal out-of-this-world experience such as hers? After taking everything she needed, she went back to the forest. The moon was now partly out of the clouds and she stood there in silence. 

Her soul was still hurting, but now it felt different. The sadness was still there, but she was ready to embrace it and make good use of everything it had to offer.

I wonder what I was doing at that exact moment when it happened. Oh, right, I was standing right here, beside this old well. I remember I was trying to capture this view in the pages of my sketchbook, but I guess something else captured me instead, haha.

Rena started giggling. It wasn't a happy giggle. It was more of a sad giggle, the kind that ends with a sigh.

I’m sorry if you are worried about me, Casim. I really miss you... 

As she started drawing, she remembered that evening. How she felt like going out but had no one to go out with. So she decided to keep herself company and surround herself with what she loved the most: art and nature. Standing beside the moss-covered well, she began to draw the river, the moon, and the trees exactly as she remembered them. And she still remembered it all so well. She specifically remembered the wind -- the way it was blowing slowly in the beginning just for it to start howling like a wolf a few minutes later.

If you were truly real, please find me and bring me back there... Oh, what a beautiful place that was...

***

Luna always felt like she didn’t truly belong. Watching the sky at night, she always knew she was meant to go a different path, to live a different life. She hated constantly feeling this way and wanted to go somewhere else, wherever that else would be. She was not afraid of leaving per se, but she always felt a little sad whenever she thought about those who she would leave behind.

“Luna, turn off the lights, please” a loud voice echoed through the thin walls.

“Sure, Mom, I’ll go to sleep in a second.”

For many, she was invisible. 

They wouldn’t even know I was gone. 

But those were not the ones she was still staying for. It was for the ones that were close to her -- her mother and her sister. She was afraid of hurting them. Little did she care about the rest.

If I run away, they will be sad and suffer a lot. But, sometimes, I can’t help but wonder whose happiness matters more.

Luna closed her eyes for a second. When she had them wide open, it was morning.

Already?! Come on, people, I wanted to sleep a little more...

She got out of bed and got ready to leave for school. Usually, her mom left breakfast waiting for her and she would share a few bites with her sister before parting ways. This morning, the kitchen was empty. No mother, no sister, no smell of freshly cooked food.

Unusual, she thought. But she didn’t pay much attention to that. Unusual doesn’t always mean bad. Maybe they left in a hurry and didn’t have time to say goodbye.

She grabbed a few books and a handbag and out the door she went. Just as she was leaving the apartment building, she felt a strong familiar scent coming from her left. When she turned, her eyes met a pair of emerald green eyes, sparkling like precious gemstones in the sunlight, and a mesmerizing smile.

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you! You really took your time there, haha!”

“Sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“Oh, here you go again...”

What’s he talking about?

“At least you came back right in time for the magnolia blossom season. I really wanted to show them to you.”

He grabbed her hand and headed to a bicycle waiting nearby. She went along. For some reason, she didn’t feel threatened by his presence, but she felt a little uneasy around him. When they were almost there, they left the bike and started walking. The flowers, their smell, it was all kind of familiar.

“I should be going to school or else the teacher will call my mom and she’ll be angry with me...” mumbled Luna after admiring the serene magnolia garden from the curved bridge above.

“School? Oh, yeah, I remember you told me you were still in high school. You don’t have to worry about that here.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Her heart was beating a bit arrhythmic. Her lungs were slowly clutching for air and she felt a shortening in her breath.

“What I mean is that you should be happy you are away from all that. School seems to be a hassle anyway. Here, let me take you to that part of the garden, the flowers are the prettiest around there.”

By now, Luna was already feeling deeply confused. 

“Who are you?” she decided to ask.

“Huh, that came out of nowhere, don’t you think?”

“Why? Since you’re acting like you already know me, it’s only fair I also learn who you are, don’t you think?”

“Well, I don't know about fair, but rude you are for sure. I’m Casim. You were the one who called for me in the first place.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You and your constant desire to escape your reality. Every time you long for something new, something different, your heartbeat becomes music to my ears.”

Luna was trying hard to remember, but any memory of her ever meeting this person seemed to be evading her. His name didn’t ring any bell either.

“Look, this is not your first time here.” Casim decided to take her step by step.

“You’ve been here two times already. You don’t seem to remember because you always go back. When you leave, you start losing memory of this place. As odd as it may seem, this is not the place you were born in. I know it looks familiar to you, but there is no school here, no mother, no sister, none of that. As a matter of fact, many things are different, but you don’t seem to notice. You never did.”

Luna was staring at him. Then she checked her surroundings. He was right. Maybe she didn’t notice because she’d been there before and it all looked familiar, but nothing like the places she knew back home.

“You often lay by your window at night and look at the sky with your big brown eyes. You don’t feel happy there and you always wish to leave it all behind. But moving is hardly an option for you. And you feel stuck. Nineteen years of life and you spent most of them looking for a way out. For a while now I’ve been hearing you. And I decided to try and bring you here. You can’t stay for long though. At least not now.”

Luna felt a boost of excitement in her whole body. 

“Please, tell me what I can do to stay longer!”

Seeing how she became more and more eager to make this happen, Casim let a faint mischievous smile slip but soon composed himself. Luna didn’t notice.

“Last time you were here, we agreed on a plan. I am trying to bring another friend of mine back here. If you help me do that, you may come as well and stay here forever.”

“How exactly can I help you?”

“When you wake up, you need to go find a girl. She is around your age. Her name is Rena and she lives a few blocks down your street. I can’t go there to help you, unfortunately, but I trust you’re going to find her and bring her to the wishing well in the forest. She will know exactly what I’m talking about, just tell her Casim sent you.”

“Wait... So, is this just a dream?”

“Yes. But it can become your reality if you help me meet my friend again.” 

“I wonder why I didn’t remember all these things the last time I woke up.”

“Maybe because you left in a hurry. You need to bring Rena near the old well in the forest where the full moon’s rays can directly hit the bottom of the well, which will happen three days from now. I’ll then send the wind and bring you two here. That’s the only moment I can interfere with the natural state of things in your world.”

“I understand. But something bothers me. What do you need me for? Why don’t you just make Rena have this same dream and tell her what she needs to do?”

“I can’t. She was sent back there because she disobeyed a rule, so I am unable to reach her dreams.”

“What rules are you talking about?”

“There are a few, but one of the most important rules is this: once you come here through the well, you are forbidden to look at your reflection. If you do that, you will be forced to leave because the only way we are allowed to see ourselves here is through the eyes of each other. Remember that.”

***

Luna decided to skip school that morning and instead go look for Rena. That was the strangest dream she’s ever had and she was curious to know if it was real or not. 

If she lives down this street, all I have to do is ask around and hopefully I’ll find her in time. I don’t leave my room often so I don’t know many people around here... I hope I won’t be late...

At the end of the first day, Luna already checked the majority of her neighbors, but none of them was or knew a girl around her age. On the second day, around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, she met an old lady who happened to be Rena’s neighbor. This lady run into Rena a while back and the girl was kind enough to help her carry some groceries up the stairs, so she remembered her. The lady gave Luna the much desired information.

*knock knock* 

I guess she’s not home...

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Sorry?”

“You’re knocking on my door. Can I help you with anything? If not, please let me get into my home and leave.”

“Ohh, you must be Rena! I’ve been looking for you since yesterday morning. I have something really important to tell you!”

The more Luna was talking, the bigger Rena’s eyes were getting. She almost couldn’t believe that everything was real. She wasn’t crazy after all.

“Of course, thank you so much! We’ll go there tomorrow night! We’ll meet here and I’ll show you the way. If you want to come, that is.”

***

Nothing keeps your soul on the verge of its seat better than standing in the middle of a dark forest, with only a few moon rays hitting the ground, waiting for the light to reach the bottom of what seems to be a hundred-years-old well with no bucket, no water, just some mossy walls now covered in poison ivy.

 “Aren’t you afraid?” asked Luna with a shaky voice. Her resolve has gotten weaker and she knew that.

“No, I’m actually excited! My friend is waiting for me.” 

“How do you know he is your friend? And what’s with that curious rule? Forbidden to check your reflection? Why is that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I asked for an explanation. And even if I did, I don’t remember.”

“But what did you see when you looked at yourself? I think breaking that rule was what brought you back.”

“I don’t remember very well. I think I saw antlers and fur and maybe... I don’t know, haha.” Rena started giggling and brushed it off. “I must be confused, my memory is playing tricks on me. Listen, all I know is that I want to go back, I made a friend there and he is waiting for me and will be happy to see me. Unlike my mother...”

“I have the same wish as you, I want to leave as well, I’ve been dreaming about this, but I also have a weird feeling. Do you remember the other rules? What happens if you break another one?”

A wave of violent winds came towards them, tearing down leaves and old branches. The moon was finally in its position. 

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I wanted to go with you but I also love my mother and sister, so I think I’ll stick around for a while longer.”

Without waiting for an answer, Luna distanced herself from Rena’s now inert body that was slowly carried by the wind down the cold dark well. From the corner of her left eye, as she was running away, she saw a faint flicker of light illuminating the darkness from within the well. Soon, the wind calmed down and Rena was gone.

 *** 

Luna couldn’t even remember getting home. Her head was spinning and everything was a blur. Back in her room, she tried to get some sleep, but there was no way... sleep evaded her that night.

One week passed and things were as normal as they’ve always been. Interestingly enough, nobody reported Rena missing. No wonder she was that ready to leave, it seemed she had nothing there to make her want to stay. 

Even more nights passed and Luna was sleeping better and better. At some point, she only vaguely remembered the well, Rena, and her wish to go somewhere far away was a lot weaker. Every time she saw her mother and her sister, she was thankful she was still there with them.

One morning, two weeks later, Luna woke up from a very strange dream. She didn’t remember much of it, but one image was still lingering in her mind. A deer with tearful eyes, two strings of blood coming out of its nose and one freshly ripped off limb was running towards her in what would have seemed like its last cry for help. Everything else in her dream was now foggy and soon even that image started to fade away as well.

“Luna, come to eat, please, or else you’ll be late for school.”

“Yes, Mom, I’ll be right there.”

‘Help! Help me, please!’ Oh, deer, what a weird dream...