Two Philosophers Walk into a Bar

It’s the final days of March in Boston which can feel like the end of the world. You can either have a bright and sunny day, melting away the last of winter’s snow from the alleyways of Boston’s brownstone apartments, or a vicious Nor’Easter making life miserable.

This particular day, however, the sky is cloudy as Professor Aldrich rushes to catch the bus that will take him to his appointment. He is a professor of philosophy at the University of Boston and has been detained by a student, which has caused him to run a little late. Sure enough, just as he turns the corner, he witnesses the bus pulling away in a cloud of black smoke.

“Danm!” he laments. “O well, I guess I’ll have to hoof it if I’m going to make it there on time!”  No sooner have the words escaped his lips when the sky above decided it would be a good time to rain. And rain it does. It pours, as the proverbial saying goes,“cats and dogs.” He holds his attache case above his head and searches for shelter. Suddenly his wife’s words ring loudly in his ear, “You had better bring an umbrella to work today. The weather girl says it might rain later on.” His response was, “Yeah, yeah.” Turning around, he sees the doorway of “When Pigs Fly,” an Irish pub. He quickly ducks inside. Shaking the rain off his sopping wet tweed jacket, he looks out the foggy window, “Just my luck,” The pub is pleasant enough, with a warm atmosphere and Irish music playing in the background.

“Pardon me for asking, but just what type of luck is it ?” asks a rather distinguished-looking gentleman sitting at the table in front of the very window Aldrich is looking out of. Sighing, Aldrich shakes his head, “Today, I must say it is undeniably bad.”

The gentleman laughs and hesitantly asks, “You look familiar. Are you, by any chance Professor Aldrich?”

A spark of light appears in Aldrich’s eye as he smiles, “Why, yes, I am. And who might you be?” The two men shake hands as the other introduces himself. “My name is Jerome Todd. I’m the professor of philosophy at Emmanuel College, where you lectured recently. So, would you care to join me?  Unless you’re in a hurry?” Professor Aldrich smiles and pulls out the heavy oak chair opposite the portly gentleman. He plops down with a sigh.

“I was in a hurry, but not now. I missed my bus and was going to walk to my destination until it started to rain. So, here I am. I’ll need to call later to explain and hope for a new meeting.” Then, tapping on the table, “But I must say that this is quite a chance meeting, wouldn’t you say? Two professors of philosophy running into one another?”

Professor Todd smiles as he cocks his head. “Oh, I don’t know. It could be just a matter of fate.”

“Fate?”

“Yes, you know. It may have been predestined that you should miss your appointment.”

As Professor Todd raises his hand to get the waiter’s attention, Professor Aldrich tries to hide his smirk with a forced cough. “Oh, no, I shouldn’t say that. I have a hard time believing in fate.”

Professor Todd straightens and leans toward Todd, “And why is that, Dr. Aldrich? Why can’t a person fall victim to fate?” The waiter arrives and Dr.Todd orders two Irish whiskeys. A cheer goes up from a group of men playing darts at the other end of the pub.

Fiddling with his napkin, Professor Aldrich gathers his thoughts. “It is not my intention to disagree with your outlook but rather to explain my feelings about fate. To say that fate is in play all the time is to suggest that it is a sort of demi-god who can control the outcome of our efforts whether we like it or not. That is to say that once Fate has decided, nothing can change it.”

Dr. Todd sits back and strokes his chin between his forefinger and thumb. “Then am I to understand that you believe in good or bad luck as a free-floating manifestation that can wreak havoc for no reason?” Taking a sip of his whiskey, Dr. Aldrich coughs as the burning liquid flows down his throat.

“Well, not exactly,” he says, swallowing hard. “Good luck is the term we use when we want something to happen in our favor. Likewise, if it doesn’t, we call it bad luck. So it is basically a matter of chance. We are unsure of the outcome, so we take a chance. If it is favorable, then it is good luck. So chance is of itself a possibility of something happening.

A three-piece band consisting of a singer, a guitarist, and a penny whistle has taken the stage. As they perform, the crowd claps along loudly. Raising his voice, Dr. Todd leans forward. “ In that case, would chance be another term for fate?”

“Well, not in the framework you have put forth, one where it is destined to happen. As I said before, fate is an event beyond a person’s control as determined by a supernatural power. Therefore, if fate is not a demi-god, it must be manifested by a different supernatural power, God.”

 Dr. Todd raises his eyebrows, “God? Are you suggesting that the God whom all Christians regard as loving and kind would afflict fate on his people?”

Dr. Aldrich sits back in his chair, nodding, “Oh, yes. He does it all the time. Right from the start, when He created Adam and Eve and bestowed upon them free will, He told them to enjoy the Garden of Eden and to do as they please, except not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. That one rule, that exception, carries a consequence of fate. If they disobey, they will be driven from the garden. That’s their fate for disobeying. Thus, in the end, God enforced their “fate.” He does it again with Moses, the Ten Commandments, Jonah, and the whale. These are not contradictions to His love and kindness. These are examples of a power enforcing “fate.” Today, however, I feel it is another term used to express a more ominous result of what we would consider “bad luck.” Say, “He caused his own fate by continuing to gamble. Now he’s homeless.” Man, not a supernatural power, creates it.”

Looking out the window, Dr. Todd notices that it has stopped raining.    Rising from their seats, the men shake hands. Dr. Todd informs Dr. Aldrich how much he has enjoyed their conversation.

“I found it not only enjoyable but enlighting as well. So perhaps we’ll meet again sometime. What do you say?”

Dr. Aldrich “hmms,” then as a sinister smile slips across his lips, he cocks one eyebrow, “We’ll have to wait and see what Fate has in store for us.”

Both men leave the pub laughing heartily.