Sail Away

She scrambled around the store. Checking the items off her list. Her hair was piled up in a messy bun on top of her head. She was in her comfy black yoga pants.

“Dang it. I forgot the laundry detergent. “ She hated when she had to backtrack.

She started back to the other side of the store frowning. She saw the display of candy to her right. She had about forty five minutes until the kids were out of school. I’ll look real quick she thought.

She eyed up each shelf carefully. She tried not to overindulge in sweets but she could not resist Godiva chocolate if they had it. Then she saw them, beautiful foiled heart shaped box of chocolates. She rubbed her index finger across the foil emblem of the Godiva chocolate. She almost grabbed it then thought better of it. She would mention it to her husband. Surely a small request for Valentine’s day wouldn’t be a problem.

She rushed over to school and picked up the two kiddos. They talked nonstop and filled her in on everything that happened at school that day. When they got home she sat them down to do their homework. She let the dog out. Started supper. Threw on laundry. Then she noticed the floor needed a quick sweep and did that quick.

Dale, her husband, came home several hour later. She had put his dinner away in the fridge.

“ Hi, Shelly.” He walked toward her and gave her a perfunctory kiss on top of the head.

“Hi. The kids are in bed and your dinners in the fridge.”

“Oh, well I ate already. It got late with client meeting and we ordered some Chinese food. Sorry..”

She shrugged. Not wanting to display her irritation. The kids barely ate dinner. Dylan didn’t like jambalaya and Randy said he wasn’t hungry. Now Dale wasn’t eating either. Why did she even bother? She really wasn’t sure.

She started to tell him a funny story about Randy but Dale stared at his phone, scrolling through social media. He didn’t react or respond. He completely ignored her.

She ignored it and dropped the subject. Of course, as usual, what she had to say was not important. Then she started to tell him a free important things about doctor’s appointments and her check engine light coming on in the van.

“Really,? I just get home and your laying all this on me? Don't even give me a minute to breathe and relax?"

“I’m sorry…it’s just…I barely see you. I barely have enough time to tell you what I need to.”

“Ok, well I’m going to bed.” Dale answered.

After he left she sat and silently wept. She felt so entirely alone.  She felt dismissed. Shelly didn’t feel like a partner or someone to be cared for. Instead, she felt like a burden, an irritation, a nuisance. Shelly felt this from the one man who was supposed to love her and cherish her. Yeah, right.

She went through her typical routine the next few days. Always something to be done. Valentine’s day was coming the end of the week. She picked up some treats and Valentine’s for the kids and Dale. Shelly told Dale at dinner that she wanted Godiva chocolates.

He didn’t appear to hear her. He didn’t respond and took another bite of pot roast. He didn’t even look in her direction.

‘Dale, did you hear me? I’m hoping for some Godiva chocolate for Valentine’s “

“What? Oh. Ok, yeah. “

While she cleaned up dinner Dale went into the living room and started watching baseball.

           The next day was Valentine’s day. She gave the boys their Valentine’s.

She put the kids to bed early and made her and Dale some nice steaks. She lit some candles and played soft music. An hour went by then another. She finally heard him put the key in the door.

He walked in.

“Why is it so dark in here? What with the is it our anniversary?”

“No” she answered.

He sat down. She gave him his Valentine. He put it down on the table. He had nothing for her.

“Happy Valentine’s day.” He said.

“Yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day.” Shelly never felt more unloved and unwanted.

Not only did he not get her some simple chocolates. He forgot Valentine’s Day. He ignored her. Why, “it wouldn’t even matter if I were here she thought. It wouldn’t make one difference if we were together at all she thought.” He intense, deep sadness began to turn into burning anger. 

           She had kept most of her feelings tucked away neatly as she most often did. Shelly felt she could no longer contain them.

           “Dale, I feel lonely. I feel that you wouldn’t even notice if I were gone at all.”

           “That’s not true. I’m right here. How can you be lonely? Of course, I’d notice if you were gone. I’m not an idiot.”

           “That’s not what I mean. We barely have time to talk to each other. We haven’t gone a date in forever. I miss you.”

           “So, now it’s my fault I have to work so much. Sorry I’m out there earning money and you get lonely. And you don’t have anyone to talk to. What do you want me to do? You want me to stop working?” He yelled.

           “No. That’s not what I mean. But it doesn’t matter, does it? Nevermind.” She walked away. Feeling small, feeling defeated. Then the anger and rage bubbled up again. She had had enough.

The whole family disappeared. The house completely abandoned. Oh, there was talk. Dale was a spy. Shelly was in trouble with the law. She was running a drug business much like the oldie but goodie, “Weeds”. They didn ’t know about the petite smiling woman who took her two boys out on the boat out from her beach front house on the Atlantic ocean. There was no man with them. But he was out there somewhere. She smiled. Life was good. Her new life was very good. She looked over the horizon at the beautiful orange sunset and she scanned over the dark blue water. Yes, he’s out there somewhere she thought.