Late Regret

Encasterated in a god knows forsaken place as I lost track of time; left to rot in a devious place as I tremble in fear. A twisting wave of panic, shock, helplessness dashes through the deepest regions of my soul. Regretting not having to let go of this earlier. Let me tell you how I found myself in this nerve wracking predicament in pain and sorrow…  

A long time ago, when I was free as a bird, I was the daughter of a rich business woman: Ella. Gaining everything that I wanted, therefore not being able to learn how to let go. 

I am always bullying other kids and forcing them to give me what I want, but good things don't last forever and I put my life at risk.

Once I saw my babysitter’s daughter -Hazel- had a doll that I‘m obsessed with: it has ocean blue eyes, blonde hair that lights up the night and with the most eye-catching pink dress that I had ever seen. Not even having an ounce of doubt, I snatched it from her hands. Furiously, she pushed me to the ground and I went berserk; who does she think she was?! I was about to push her back, but a destructive plan came up in my mind. Smirking, I made an ear piercing scream and fake tears started rolling down my cheeks. The door was burst open by my mum and my babysitter. Her face turned purple after what she saw, my mum shot my babysitter a menacing look.

“ Gloria, what is it about!” my mum spat.

“ Sorry madam, please give me another chance, I’m.. ” my babysitter tried to explain, but was soon interrupted by my mum:

“ There’s no such thing as sorry and chances aren't that easy to get  Gloria! You and your little devil get out of here or I’ll call the security!” My babysitter was about to say something, but all her remaining words were gulped down by her esophagus. Staying silent, my babysitter gave me a distraught look and my eyes started filling with tears-my heart started feeling a little bit shallow somehow. Burning with anger, Hazel hissed as she passed me:

“ I will never forget this Ella, and you will too! You will regret this! ” 

From that time, her words were like sculpted into my heart; every time someone said the word ‘hazel’, I shivered uncontrollably. Luckily, the memory slowly faded away and thinking everything had passed-I was back to the bully I was. As time passed by,  I was more and more known.

One peaceful year, or so I thought, my best friend Tracy came up to me:

“ Hey girl, looking extra fancy today!” 

“ And you looks like we have a new target” I smiled,

“ I guess nothing can escape your eyes Ella.” She laughed.

I winked,“ Can't argue with that, and who is our new GUEST?” 

“ The new girl, duh!” she exclaimed, but seeing my curious expression, she rolled her eyes and continued:

“ AKA… wait! What is her name again? Ugh.. it doesn't actually matter, the thing that matters is that she is our new target!” I just shrugged and said let’s go and not even have a second of doubt. Confidently, we walked up to the new girl. Strangely, the new girl seemed familiar: she had silky, black, wavy hair that laid down on her shoulder and her eyes were a tranquil green pool, flecked with brown and gold in the sunlight. Tracy smirked:

“ Hey new girl! Isn’t it the time to hand over some money?”

The girl just shot her a deaf glare and asserted:

“ And isn't it the time for you to buy some manners and respect, your HIGHNESS?” 

“ You! ” Tracy screamed, but it clearly seemed like she was speechless. She nudged me on the arm: trying to get help from me. Sadly for her, I wasn't paying any attention. The coldness and sound of the new girl’s words ringed over and over through my ears and a bolt of lightning shocked my mind-she was Hazel! This prediction shocked me to the core and I was frozen by the fear in me. My eyes widened. Cold sweat rolled. Temperature dropped. Standing like a statue.

“ Ella! What is up with you!” Tracy roared like a lion, while interrupting my thoughts. After hearing my name, the girl’s eyes become sharp, menacing and maybe even deadly! “ She is Ella?” Hazel asked. Full of coldness and anger as she spoke. Tracy frowned. 

“ You know her? Ella never told me anything about you. What is your name and what is that ghostly tone for?” Tracy asked, confused.

“ My name is Hazel and the thing that happened between us is none of your business!” Hazel exclaimed.

“ Lady, technically it does! She is my BFF!” Tracy answered.

“ Not anymore!” Hazel barked. Then she just stomp of here, but before she goes, she whispered to me:

“ It seemed like you hadn't changed at all Ella, and I keep my promises.” My heart started beating wildly after what I heard. I knew what she meant. I ran into the library, hoping that she wouldn't find me. That night I couldn't sleep: I tossed and turned, but I just couldn't fall asleep. 

The next day, I had panda eyes. 

“ Ella, what happened? You guys seemed to know each other?” Tracy asked, hoping to find out what was the secret between me and Hazel.

“ Go away Tracy, Hazel is correct! It is none of your business!” I exclaimed.

“ What is up with you Ella! I thought we were best friends!” Tracy asked.

“ I thought that too Tracy, I also thought we were best friends, but you are so clingy! I need some space!” I shouted, the anger inside of me exploded.

“ You snake! I had been by your side all the time just to be your best friend! I bully people because I want you to notice me! You don't deserve everything, and you totally don't deserve our friendship, you spoiled brat!” she cried. Tears started pouring down her cheeks like a fountain.

“ Just back of Tracy!” My eyes became watery. I know I couldn't be myself without the company and love of Tracy, but I'm too angry to apologize. She put her hands on her face and started to run away.“ No please, I beg you, please come back! Im… I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please come back!”I cried. I can't hold my feelings anymore, it came out like my tears. I chased after her and ran as fast as I could, but soon she disappeared in the corridor. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face. I was distraught. Sunderly, I tripped and my head fell onto the icy, cold floor. It went all black.  

When I woke up, I was imprisoned in a dark place with mice crawling around my feet, but it didn't matter. I had lost my best friend, the only, only friend who had ever cared about me. Thinking back, in my life I'm only feared, no caring friends like Tracy. My heart started feeling shallow like when I kicked out my babysitter. 

“ Feeling distraught like how I felt all these years Ella?” a trembling voice cried. Looking up, it was the one that had locked me up: Hazel. 

“ You totally don't know that my mum is sick and she is still looking after you because we were in debt right?” she continued.

“I…” I tried to explain, but was soon interrupted:

“ No explanations Ella, just like what your mum mercilessly did to my mum. And thanks to you guys, my mum died of illness. This is unforgettable and unforgiveable!” she cried. I was shocked. I was about to say something, but she just walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. She will let me out one day, won't she? Sadly, the answer is no. I stayed in the room day after day, desperately trying to get out, and living in shame. I remembered what I did in the past few years, regretting everything I did, hoping every breath that I took will be my last.