A Wedding Gift from the Dark Web

Liza peered over the rim of her wine glass at the strange man. Conscious of the delicate stem, she gently set her glass down. She considered his question as she licked the wine off her upper lip.

“Groom or bride?” he repeated.

“A bit of both. We’ve known each other for years. We grew up together.”

Tipping his chair back, he stretched and laced his arms behind his head, “The happy threesome?”

She shrugged and took another sip of wine. “You could say that.”

“But you wouldn’t?”

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s a bit presumptuous. You don’t know me, and I don’t even know who you are.”

He leaned forward, extending his hand. His chair hit the ground with a thud. “Stu. Stu Monroe. Pleased to meet you.”

She glanced at his outstretched hand, noting the sweat-stained cuff and forlorn button dangling from his suit. On impulse, she shook it. “I'm Liza. What’s your story, Stu? I don’t remember William or Hannah mentioning you.”

In truth, this tiny man with his receding hairline, ill-fitting jacket, and twinkling eyes didn’t seem the sort to run with William and Hannah’s crowd.

Stu laughed easily. “Ah, you caught me!  I believe I’m what you’d call a …a ‘plus one.’ Yes! That’s the term alright!”

He chuckled at his joke, but Liza wasn’t sure what the joke was.

“I am, yes, I am, here with a very special guest. Surely you know who I mean.” He winked at her.

Liza didn’t know, but Stu began to speak again before she could say so.

“Ahh! The happy couple enters! Doesn’t she shine?” He peered over her shoulder. “Have you ever seen such a likely pair?”

She turned, her throat constricting. Hand in hand, William and Hannah strode through the frosted French doors towards the dance floor at the center of the room. William was impossibly dark and imposing in his tailored suit, handsome in a stoic way. He was all Liza had ever wanted. But there was a softness in his eyes for Hannah that was absent when he looked at Liza.

She was vaguely aware of the DJ announcing their first dance as husband and wife, but the buzzing in her head drowned out the music as she watched William gently sweep Hannah into his arms.

Damn them! That should have been her dance, and they all knew it.

Someone nudged her arm. Startled, she jerked, looking up to see Stu standing over her.

“Care for another glass, my dear? Shh! I bribed the bartender into letting me take a whole bottle.” Stu waggled the bottle at her as though they were co-conspirators and began to fill her glass.

Liza grabbed the glass from him, absently noting the generous pour, and took a long pull. Turning back to the couple revolving around each other on the dance floor, she focused on Hannah now.

She looked beautiful, of course. She was glowing as she gazed up at William, laughing at some secret joke they shared. Hannah knew. She knew how Liza felt about him. Hannah had always looked at Liza with sad, pitying eyes, encouraging her to find her soulmate while flaunting William like a show dog. Liza felt a familiar red-hot anger growing inside her.

She followed Hannah’s gaze to William’s face, taking in the breadth of his shoulders, then his hand resting on the curve of Hannah’s hip. The heat Liza had felt in her chest moments before raced through her body. She flushed, remembering the summer Hannah had left to study in Madrid. Too many shots, or maybe not enough, and Liza had found William clumsily flirting with her. She had kissed him then.

He returned the kiss. Liza pressed her body against him, and he felt exactly like she always imagined he would. Abruptly, though, he had turned away, mumbling about an early morning.

He couldn’t even look at her as he threw some crumpled bills on the bar and headed out the door. She didn’t see much of him for the rest of the summer. She remembered the look on his face afterward, though - shame. Damn him.

Her face was burning as she thought of it, equal parts desire and rage.

Damn them both and their fairy tale wedding. They didn’t deserve it, and Liza would make sure they didn’t get it.

“Penny for your thoughts?” leered Stu.

“A penny?!” Liza snorted, feeling the wine coursing through her. She looked squarely at the ridiculous little man. “It’ll take more than a penny, Stu, I’m broke!”

She laughed again, “But it’ll be worth it. You see, Stu…” Liza leaned toward him, slightly off-balance. She whispered loudly, “It turns out you really can find anything online. And I bought them a gift they'll never forget.”

Stu nodded. “I got this jacket off Amazon. Straight from China,” he preened, fingering his collar and flashing a yellow grin.

“Oh no. I’m talking more like the dark Amazon if you catch my meaning.” She giggled at herself and motioned him in closer. “You see,” she slurred, “it took damn near my whole life savings, and more than a little secret spy stuff, but I found a little organization that has promised to ruin this little affair.”

Stu’s eyes grew wide. “You don’t say? But how?”

She blew a puff of air out between her lips. “Don’t know, don’t care. It’s called plausible deniability, Stu.” She tapped her index finger to her temple and raised her glass with the other. “I’ll tell you a secret, though,” she motioned to Stu to lean in closer, “It wasn’t just money.”

“No?” Stu gasped.

“No. There was blood, too. I had to send a vial of my own blood to a PO Box in Des Moines, Iowa, of all places!” She threw back her head and laughed loudly at the look on Stu’s face. “Between us, Stu, I’m not buying the woo-woo stuff, but hey, if they want to play Voldemort, who am I to judge? As long as I get results.”

Liza pushed her finger into Stu’s chest, “And you, you lucky dog, get to sit back with me and enjoy the show.”

Stu cocked his head to the side and considered Liza, a smile spreading across his face.

“Oh, I already am, darling. You’ve clearly thought of everything. You’re not very well-read, though, are you? Not a fan of fairy tales?”

Liza looked at him blearily, her mouth slightly open.

“If you were, you would know that it is imperative when making wishes to carefully consider what you’re asking for... And how you ask for it.” He topped off her drink. “Here, my dear, you can have the rest; I don’t touch the stuff myself. And this one, well, this is an exceptional vintage. Just for you.”

He reached into the inside of his jacket and pulled out a small vial, placing it gingerly on the table. A few dark red drops clung to the bottom.

“I believe this was yours. I found the bitterness both delicious and intriguing. I thought to myself, now how in the world can I grant this depraved little soul’s wish? And it came to me, just like that.” He snapped his fingers. Liza’s eyes bulged.

“I thought to myself, wouldn’t the lovely couple be so very sad if a guest were to pass away on this happiest of days? And wouldn’t it be even worse if that guest was their close childhood friend?” He blinked his eyes innocently, “And wouldn’t it be positively traumatizing if that friend died a horrific and very public death with all their friends and family looking on? Why, their day would be ruined!”

Clapping his hands together and bringing them to his lips, Stu could barely contain his amusement.

Reaching across the table and patting Liza’s hand fondly, he smiled, “You’re welcome, my dear.”

He winked at her just as her trembling gave way to violent tremors, and a bloody froth erupted from between her clenched teeth. The fragile stem of her now empty wine glass snapped as her fingers curled inward like claws.

Stu smiled as he crossed to the front door. With a chuckle and a soft shoe, he danced out the door to the sound of panicked screams behind him.