Olivia, My Best Friend

I wouldn’t say that I don’t like going out, rather, I like more relaxed places. When I meet with my friends, my ideal get together would be one where I can give them my undivided attention. Somewhere that doesn’t have too much background noise and isn’t crowded with people. To clarify, I like restaurants, cafes, parks, and such. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not much of a party person.

           There are always way too many people I have no relation with, alcohol, and very loud music. It is just too much. And there is always the chance that you may be forgotten by the people you went with, leaving you stranded in a sea of people you do not know. I guess this makes me introverted.

           Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. I have always prided myself on knowing what I like and don’t like. Sometimes I will go out of my comfort zone to try new things, but I know that I do not like big parties. I’ve always been content with this and would politely decline when a friend asked me to go to one. My close friends know that it isn’t really my scene but extend the invitation to me on the off chance that I may want to go. In my close nit group of friends, there is only one person out of the six of us that frequents parties on a regular basis, Olivia, my best friend, or so I thought.

           Just as the sun was setting, I am startled by the sudden ringing of my phone. I go to pick it up.

“Hello?” I say. “Guess what?” While I didn't look at who was calling me, I can tell by the excited tone on the other line that it was Olivia.

“What?” I reply.

“You know Brian from Econ? He’s throwing this huge party at his place tonight! You have to come. You’re gonna come with me, right?”

“Olivia, you know that really isn’t my scene.”

“Ok, and? There’s no time like the present to try new things, and who’s to say you won’t find some who catches you eye while we’re there?” She teases.

“Olivia, it is not that I don’t want to hang out with you, parties are just too much. Last-“ Olivia cuts me off.

“Yes, I know, you got nervous and left. You are coming with me, no buts. As your best friend, it is my job that you don’t become a hobbit. I’ll be there at seven to get ready. Its going to be fun!” she explains, and then abruptly hangs up the phone.

           I can already feel the dread tying my stomach into knots as I put the phone back on the table. This is going to be a long night.

______________________

           I walk out of the bathroom, still wet from my shower, and I walk into the living room. Unsurprisingly, Olivia is sitting there on my couch.    Next to her, I can see a tote bag which I assume is filled with the stuff she needs to get ready. Without looking up from her phone she says, “So what are you gonna wear?”

“I don’t know, probably just a pair of jeans and a shirt, nothing crazy.” I say flatly.

Finally, she looks up.

“Are you serious?”

           “Yes?” I don’t even want to go to this thing. Why would I take the time to wear an uncomfortable outfit if I don’t want to be there in the first place?

“Good thing I brought some stuff for you! This is a party, try something different!”

           She walks into my room, bag in tow, and begins to lay out outfits on my bed. All of them seem like what you would typically wear to a party. By that, I mean things that Oliva would wear to a party. She has always been more of the flirtatious type, always trying to grab the attention of someone. She has always been confident like that, which I normally love, but right now I just want her to leave.

She looks at me, “You should wear this one.”  The outfit she’s pointing at is a pair of black leather pants that flair a little at the bottom, with a copper silk crop top and black docs. I mean it’s not that the outfit isn’t cute, it’s just something I wouldn’t pick out to wear for myself. I grab the cloths from the bed and go back into the bathroom to change without saying a word.

The rest of the time we spent getting ready went like this. Olivia was talking on the phone to various people as she was getting ready; people who I assume where also going to the party as well. I spent the majority of my time getting ready in the bathroom while Olivia took the mirror in front of my closet. When I walk out, I see her fixing her outfit in the mirror. She’s wearing a pair of high waisted, tight, and extremely ripped jeans with glittery crop top and white platform sneakers. She turns when she hears me walk out.

“See, you look great!”

“So do you, what time do you think we should leave?” I try to say more lively.

“Look, I get it, you don’t really want to go, but you are my friend. If you keep going at the rate that you are, your gonna become a hermit, and then what? Just try to enjoy yourself, you have nothing to be anxious over. You ready? Let’s get going!”

           I cringe at that last part. The last party I went to, I ended up having a panic attack. I went with a group of people that I had been working with for a group project. They all ended floating off on their separate ways. I was left behind in a loud, crowded place with nobody that I knew. I couldn’t find the exit and I started to panic; it was all too much. The other two parties I went to before this ended up similarly, but it was this last one that made me decide that it really wasn’t my thing. I’ve told Olivia all of this.

_______________________

           It has been all but 20 minutes and Olivia has already left me in pursuit of Brian. When we first arrived, Olivia whispered to me as we were approaching the house, “Don’t worry, I wont leave you. Tonight’s gonna be fun!”

           After she left with Brian I decided to stay and wait for her to come back; she did say, after all, I won’t leave you.  

           10 minutes pass, then 20, and then 30. I ended up waiting for an hour and a half for her to come back to no avail. I was left in the very situation she assured me wouldn’t happen. I was in a crowded, loud room, surrounded by people I do not know. This one guy kept offering me drinks, but I refused. Finally, I walk outside and look at my phone to see where she’s at.

           I had texted her about 30 minutes ago where she was, but she never answered, so I looked at her location. We both have that Life360 app where you can track the other person; so if one of us is in trouble, we can always find each other. When I open the app, I see that she left the party and was currently at a bar across town. I am furious.

           Well, I don’t know if furious is the right word. I can feel the panic rising up in my throat, I want to cry. I want to go home. I call her to figure out what the hell happened, but it goes straight to voicemail. So, I leave a voice mail. An angry voice mail. The best way to describe it is like the tone your mom would use when she’s mad at you. Her tone would be completely flat and void of emotions, aside from the hint of anger that shows in her pronunciation of some words.

           Because Olivia and I rode in her car, I call one of our friends to come and pick me up and take me home. They were understanding and provided me with the comfort I needed to compose myself before going back to my dorm.

           I go into the shower to clean myself off, but I end up just sitting on the floor crying. The one person I trusted to understand how I felt. The person that I thought who knew me better than anyone else, left me. Olivia, my best friend.

______________

           Once I get out, I put on an old t-shirt I took from my dad, and get ready for bed. As I lay down, I here my front door open.

“What the Hell?” It’s Olivia.

I walk out into the living room, “What.” I say flatly.

“The voicemail, really? Why- “ I cut her off.

“You wanna know why, Olivia? Because I trusted you. You knew, you knew, why I don’t go to things like that, and against my better judgement, I trusted you a went anyways. I never wanted to go, and you knew that I didn’t. But I went anyways, because you were my friend, and I trusted you.”

“What do you mean were?”

“What do you think? There are plenty of things I want to do with you, places I want to go with you, but I know you don’t like them, so I don’t force you to come. Rather, I make plans with you to do something that you like, because I want you to be happy and enjoy yourself. I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do. I thought that felling was reciprocated. Apparently some random guy-“

“His name is Brian.”

“My mistake, Brian, whom you have never expressed interest in until tonight, was more important that keeping you word to a friend. Olivia, please leave.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, like really-“ she’s shouting at this point.

“Pleas leave.” I say again as I’m walking towards the door, holding it open for her.

“You’re being such a bitch” she says, venom practically dripping from those words.

To prove my point, I say flatly “If I’m going to have someone close to me, it’s gonna be some who respects my feelings and boundaries. If you want to make up in the future, sure, but right now I am more hurt than anything. All I can say for sure is that I am never going out with you again.”