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Fiction

Juggling on a train. Towards the crowded room. Can’t stop. The tomorrows of today blend in with the yesterdays I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten

I’ve forgotten.

I’ve forgotten.

Disjointed and removed from thoughts I snap back to the task. Juggling. Juggling on a train. Away. No that’s not right. Towards.

Towards the crowded room.

Hues. Blues. Reds. Purple floats towards the floor. Ominous black colours the edges. Towards. Towards. Towards. Forwards into the tomorrows. Flowering around me with blues. Hues. Towards.

Juggling.

Red.

Juggling.

Blue.

Juggling … black!

Tomorrow, towards, tomorrow. Rooms full of crowds. Tomorrow. Tomorrows can’t stop. Ominous flowers snap. Train can’t stop. Not right to juggle. Floating towards the blues. Can’t forget what I’ve forgotten. Black flowering around me. Towards. Tomorrow. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow.

Juggling. He did it. I did it. We did it. Juggling on a train. Can’t stop. Forgotten. But never forgotten. Blue hues wisp around. Wisp. Float. Blue. Remove the thoughts! Remove the thoughts! Towards the forgotten. Snap to task. Juggling. Up and down, around and towards. No back. No towards. Around. Task. Juggling. Blue.

Black fills in the spots. The spots in the crowded room. Towards. Can’t stop. Tomorrows and todays and yesterdays and forevers. Forgotten. Up and down. Crowded. Towards. Towards. Stop. Can’t. Juggling. Floating reds. Seer. Towards. No back. Can’t. Forget? Twist turn up down. Thoughts. Around. Task. Juggling.

Forgot.

Forgotten.

I’ve forgotten.

Juggling. Towards. Room. Crowded. Stop. Can’t. Tomorrow. Yesterday. Today. Forgotten. Red. Blue. Black! STOP!

Now it twirls. Swaying and breathing. Heaving and sighing. Towards my tomorrows. Stealing them for …

Juggling. Up. Down. Over? No that’s not right. Towards. Blurring around the edges. Black. Wisp. Float. Red. Too much! Can’t. Stop! Stop! STOP! Can’t. Won’t? Crowds. Faceless. Around and blurring. Towards and forgetting. Back. Can’t. STOP! Red. Too much red. I can’t turn towards the faceless crowds.

I’ve forgotten. Juggling. Juggling on a train. Sway. Stop. Sway. Go. Blurring greens. Blurring browns. Together they stop. Not right? Not RIGHT! Left? Correct? Sway. Stop. Black. Stealing them for the …

Crowded. Yesterday. Crowded. Tomorrow. Blend with the yesterdays. I’ve forgotten.

I’ve forgotten.

I’ve forgotten.

Wait! Stop! Can’t. Towards rooms full of crowds. Ominous flowers. Blues. Hues. Purple wisps. Floating. Flowers can’t juggle on a train. Flowers? No. Crowds. Thoughts. Can’t. Juggling. Black.

Here I am again. Where? Red. Blue. Black. Gone.

Back. Here I am again. Gone.

Back… stop.

Wisps. Blurs. Float. Juggling? Train.

Here I am.

I’ve not forgotten.

Feelings. Hands. Feet. Face. Pain. Blue. Purple. Hues. Gone.

Back. Sway. Gone.

Back. I’ve not forgotten. Twist turn up down. I’ve not forgotten. Back. Here I am. Hands. Feet. Face. Pain. Here I am. Disjointed and removed from thoughts. No task. Here I am. On a train. Towards. Forward. Can’t stop. Blue. Purple. Hues. I did it. We did it. Here I am. Towards.

Sounds.

Ringing. Hear I am.

Ringing. Face. Blue. Purple. Blue. Purple.

Hear.

I am.

Here.

Can’t forget.

Won’t!

Stop. Crowded. Towards. No back. Towards. I did it. Here I am. Back. Lying. Back. Hands. Feet. Face. Back. Pain. Moving. Up. Around. Still towards. Wisp. Float. No black! Back. Here I am. Focus.

Focus. I’ve not forgotten.

Focus. Won’t stop.

Focus. Crowds.

Focus. Faces.

Feeling. Fingers. Toes. Moving. Knees. Hands. Slowly. Black. No. Black. Back. Here I am. Focus. Feelings. Moving. Forward. Towards.

Task. Done. Red. Blue. Purple. Dropped. One. Two. Three. Dropped. Juggling on a train. No. On a train. Blurs. Won’t. Here I am. Focus. Forevers, remembered. I’ve not forgotten. Face. I know. One. Two. Three. I know. Sound. Ringing. Voice? Voiceless. Sound. Hear. I am. Hear me. Here me. Focus. One. Two. Three. I’ve not forgotten. Red. Blue. Purple. Remove the thoughts! NO! Forevers remembered. Towards. Crowds. Faces? Watching. One. Two. Three. Watching?

Tears. Tears. Both. Tears. Towards red. Heaving and sighing. Swaying and breathing. Tears. One. Two. Three. Remember today. Hear me. Towards the crowds. Forevers. Gone. Watching. Focus.

Knees. Hands moving. Towards. Forwards. Stop. Pain. Remove thoughts. Disjointed. Blurring. Wisping. Dirt stuck. Knees. Juggling on a train. One. Two. Three. Red. Blue. Purple. Done. Tears. Tears. Both.

Blue. Purple Pain. Red. Seer. Black. Gone.

Ringing.

Hear. I am here. Back. Too much red. Faceless again. Crowds. Black along the edges. No! Forevers remembered.

Focus.

I’ve forgotten.

Focus.

I’ve forgotten.

Focus.

I’ve not forgotten.

Focus. Pain. Here I am. Back. Not black. Here I am. Hear me? HEAR ME! Crowds? Here me! Disjointed. Blue, purple, black. Again. Face. Hands. Feet. Breathing, sighing, swaying, towards. Crowds. Watching. Passive. Not doing. Forevers. I remember forevers. I will remember forevers. Trains. Don’t stop. Crowds watching.

Passive.

Forgotten.

Undoing.

Not doing.

Ominous flowers snap. Task. Back. Not doing. Why? Crowds. Trains. Towards. Here I am. Towards.

Quiet. Not hearing? Black. I used to be here. I used to be her.

Going back. Can’t. Won’t? Towards the crowded room. Hear. Here. Tear. Tear. Both. Tomorows. Todays. Yesterdays.

Todays.

Yesterdays.

Disjointed crowds with no faces watch. Watch me. Juggle. One. Two. Three. Red. Blue. Purple. Still on a train. Watching. They hear. They see. Black.

Here I am.

Not doing. Passive. Crowds.

Won’t you stop? Won’t you see me? Here I am. Juggling. One. Two. Three.

Pain.

Still here.

Again and again I juggle and you do not see. You do not hear. Yet, here I am. Towards the crowds I finally face. No face.

I’ve forgotten.

Pictures. Not doing. Not hearing. Not seeing. Passive.

Forevers and tomorrows gone. Black fills the spots. On a train. Towards. Black. Towards. Black. Not crowds. Task. NO!

No juggling. Stop red. Stop blue. Stop purple. One. Two. Three.

Scream.

Hear me?

Ringing. Whistling. Not me. Hear me?

Feet. Hands. Pain. Bound.

NO! Forevers remembered. Tears.

No! Can’t. Towards. Black.

Won’t towards black.

Why? Hear me? Why? Here me? Why? I cannot forget. Why? Bound. Disjointed. Quiet. Silenced. Done. Hear me?

Forevers gone.

Tomorrows.

None.

Today.

Only.

Here I am.

Disjointed on a train. Undoing. Quiet.

Silenced.

I used to be her.

Here.

Tear.

Tear.

Both.

Done.

Stopped.

February 23, 2023 22:09

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