Next

Neither was seeking anything serious. They simply have these feelings among the millions of other things to do. Anything more than the casual occasion would be complicated. Too much to deal with. That's just the way it is. 

It hadn't been long since they met. Two with unexplained feelings. Love? Who knows, but they're with one another. Wondering what might happen next. Wondering what should happen next. 

They’re in love. At least one thought it was love. Neither had been in love before. Or at least they didn't think they had. Is that the way it is? When you least expect it. Expect it. When you least wanted it. There it is. 

Love. Of all things. Now. Now in the throes of launching that business. While earning that degree. Now when characters from your novel pine for your attention. And you for them. Immersion into their world. A waterfall of events flowing over you. If it isn’t love. Or that which lasts past the euphoria. Then what is it?

After the fireworks and butterflies they become another personality you don't want to deal with. So you don’t. Or you do. A relationship. Can I call it that, you think? If this, acquaintance, is in the way. I let it be known. It's no good for me. And leave it at that. What more is there? To dive in when the heart’s not in it. Will it go to hell in a handbasket? And that's the last thing I want.

Going through the motions to the point hate pours through every interaction. I never planned on walking down that aisle you tell them. Never planned on exchanging vows. Never needed the drama of a ugly break up. And that’s what this is. Ugly and unnecessary. All for what?

Nothing. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. I told you. To me, I didn’t listen. Where was it supposed to go? We never took the time to get to know each other. What we experienced we ignored the signs. We wanted to make more, or you, wanted to make more of two ships passing in the night. An association that was to be different from what is. A fling. Good for the moment then tossed away. It couldn’t go any further. There was no more use for it. It was fun but not real. Not born to live long.

I was being me. Moving through life with the mindset that anybody could be that potential business partner. Not life partner. I’m in it for the passion. This could have been the start of an empire. The beginning of a dynasty. That’s what I’m focused on. That’s what I want.

Would falling in love be so ominous, you ask? Would it be so wrong? Would it be such a burden to be with that special someone? Surely not, right? No harm to ask. No harm to consider it. It could work. It would work. If I give it a chance, you say.

But it was not meant for us. You know as well as I. You weren’t the one for me. Nor I for you. You deny it. But you’re fighting it. Accept it as I do. You thought to meet today and run down the aisle tomorrow. I was with you at one point. In that moment. But moments don’t last long. No bang, bang wedding. 

I don’t know you. Nor you me. And I mean the real you. We’ve talked a bit. Over lunch. A walk through the park. At the game. The ten day cruise for our downfall we could blame. So many married couples celebrating their anniversaries. Telling of all the good times and all the pain. 

Only love, true love they told was how they survived the game. To talk about faith and finances just to name a few incited a fight. Who could have known that you were so passionate or dispassionate about the matters. That’s not just who I am, you state. 

In some instances on some matters it’s just a statement of fact. On other matters you’re so angry you want to fight. Another matter would cause me to hang up on you then block your number. It’s a small amount of money, you say. A small amount to you! That’s a week’s worth of groceries. How was I to know? You said nothing about that. 

It was a joke. How did I know? We never had that conversation about faith? I figured it was something you did for convenience. I was trying to lighten the mood. You rarely attend services. Who knew you were devoted.

You say you didn’t use the name in vain. You did. On more than one occasion. It’s crying and whining when it’s something important to me. When it’s something significant to you it's a matter of respect. And I ought to know that. Respect works both ways. And you know that. 

I take you for granted, you say. I borrow money and don’t pay it back. I pay it back when I can. But you need it the next day or day after. You said I could pay it back in a week. You say I lie. On many occasions. 

You lie. You claim to pay bills. You don't. You use it to gamble. When you win you pay it back. When you lose you don’t. You wander from night to day. From day to night. Inebriated. Your money is in the bank, you say. What direct deposit. Your job is gambling. 

We will start a business with the money I win. Just another loan. I’m a professional. I’ve always returned your money. I paid for this cruise. I paid for this ring. 

You lost all that you brought on this cruise. And now you’re trying to win it all back. But you want the money from me. You see what I mean. How long will this last? And you want forever? No. We won’t have a successful marriage. We’re heading in two different directions.