My secret brother

I have been staring at my phone for at least an hour, considering it too late to cancel. Just before I could read the cancel text, he arrived five minutes early. Take a deep breath. I am about to meet my brother, but he does not know that. I sent this man on the pretence of finally meeting one of my siblings.

When I saw him approach the door, I could not believe that he looked so much like my father. He has deep blue eyes and perfectly tanned skin. I quickly looked at his hands; they looked like working man's hands, unlike anyone in my family. They must be drifting off to space because he asked, 'Are you OK? '

I blinked for a second and said, "Yes, come in." We entered the house. I tried not to pinch myself. I finally have a sibling in my life. I could pinch myself how lucky I am to find him. My father was not the most faithful man. Looking at his affairs after his death, I found links to at least a dozen women, and I have at least four other half-siblings.

Luckily, my father owned a big tech with a team of private investigators. I found links to details for all potential half-siblings. After some online scooping, I found Jason pretty quickly. Jason was different from the potential half-siblings. He was not wealthy and entitled, not a party animal. The brain was raised by a poor single mom and did not go to university and become a landscaper and arborist. My research showed he was a good person, business owner, father of two, and lovely wife.

I spent hours studying his man, my older brother. He had no idea that his mother interned for Harold Johnson, the owner of the most prominent tech firm in the southern hemisphere. The only evidence I could find was a cheque for $100,000 to his mother. Then, about nine months later, I found Jason's birth certificate with no father listed.

I have spent my nights after work exploring any information I could find about him, scrolling through his personal and business social media accounts. I looked at every single photo that I could from his wedding photos, school photos, and childhood photos, and my favourites were with him and my two nephews.

I spent the next few minutes going through my mind, thinking about how to meet him. I should join his running club, but no, I am trouble. I have barely done any running since high school. I should join his soccer club, but no chance I would play at the same time and place him as I have never been good at soccer. I should join his wife's netball team, but I am hopeless at netball and will never be good enough to join his wife's netball team.

Then, I thought: What if we get him to do some landscape work? We did not know of this earlier; it is so apparent. Looking at the backyard, it is massive and genuinely needs some landscaping work. I see his landscaping work on his social media. He is excellent at his job.

Oh goodness, I feel this ridiculousness. Why am I so nervous about writing a simple Facebook message? I have spent hours rewriting a straightforward message. Is this meeting being a lie? I do need some landscape work, and it is just a coincidence that the landscaper is my half-brother, who does not know that his father was the wealthiest person in Australia.

I spent hours trying to write the perfect message, which is ridiculous. At times like this, I should get a personal assistant. I am so feeling stupid; this is something people do every day by themselves. But also, they are not planning to hire their half-brother, who they know the truth about their paternity.

It's okay. Just take a deep breath and relax. We have things much more nerve-racking than messaging a business. I just think about the many investor meetings and even the TED talk you gave. I have not been nervous and constantly second-guessing my decision. What is worse, he said no.

I opened my laptop, finally opened my Facebook, and opened the business tab. God, I hope that does not have to mean that I viewed the account 156 times. I opened the message, but how should I start? OK, just start with hello. The fifteen minutes it took for him to reply felt like an eternity.

I looked at the screen it with automated message saying thanks for Fields Landscaping and Arborist are looking for a) lawn moving b) tree remover or c) gardening. I pressed as fast as my finger would let me. Then another automated message is you looking for a) once off or b) regular service. I pressed b. Then comes the list rate, which I now care about how much it costs. I would do anything to see my brother. I did some more clicking and filling out the details and finally arranged to meet him tomorrow at 4pm.

I had barely spent a wink. I was a mixture of excitement and nervousness, playing several scenarios in my head. I knew everything there was to learn about a person, and I had no idea how much he knew about me. I had a shower and looked at my wardrobe, wondering if there was a perfect outfit to meet your half-brother for the first time. I feel this is not a question you should just Google and find outfit recommendations on some fashion bloggers' pages.

I finally chose a casual outfit: a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. I look at phone it's 9:00 so 7 hours until he arrives. What to do in the meantime. The house is spotless thanks to the cleaner. I do so much work but am too distracted to think about anything else today. I try so yoga, but my mind is not focused enough. I think about going for a walk, but it is too hot, and also, if I exercise, I'll have to shower and choose another outfit again. I look at it and watch it at 3:00. I think it is too late to cancel.