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Fiction

PIRATES AND GOOD GUYS

“What?”

“I said, ‘would you like to come in?’”

I looked at my nemesis. I had been hunting the Dread Pirate Roberts for over a decade, and now I was face-to-face with him. I hadn’t devoted my life to finding him only to back down now. I had come for revenge, and revenge was going to be my reward.

I stepped forward, pulling my sword from its scabbard, pointing it towards the man in front of me.

I shouted “I have come for revenge!”

The pirate smiled. “Of course you have. And you shall have it. But first, would you like a cup of tea before killing me?”

Confused, I took another step forward. “I have no time for tea! I need your head on a pike, sir!”

“Fine. But, if you don’t mind, I would like a final cup of tea before you dispatch me to the next realm.”

Turning, he walked back into his cottage, towards the kitchen his back to me, fearless. I followed, holding my sword at my side. I shook my head. This was not what I had expected. I was prepared to fight to the death to avenge the death of my brother, a man kidnapped and executed by the man in front of me. Instead of quivering in fear, or running to get his weapon, he had chose to have a cup of tea before I killed him. I was confused.

“Drink quickly, old man,” I shouted, “you have a date with the devil!”

He nodded his head sagely. “I probably do have a date with Satan. I have no illusion that I will not be spending eternity in hell.”

He calmly sipped his tea.

“Why don’t you sit down,” he said. “You must be exhausted from your journey.” He pushed a plate of small cakes towards me. “Hungry?”

Ha! As if I would be lulled into a false sense of relaxation by his convivial tone and actions. Never!  

“I don’t need a seat, I don’t need cake. I need revenge! Drink quickly, scoundrel, I am an impatient man!”

He took a cake from the plate, and bit into it, a smile touching his lips.

“It’s a shame that I’m going to die. I do make a magnificent gingerbread cake.” He popped the remainder into his mouth chewing contentedly, a smile touching his lips.

“The only place you will be making cake is in hell!” I bellowed. “Now, hurry and finish your final repast!’

He plucked up another piece of gâteau, munching while eyeing me.

“Tell me, lad, what was the name of your brother — the man you say I kidnapped and executed?”

“David Harrowsmith.”

He smiled. “Ah, Davey. A fine man!”

I drew my sword forward. “I will not have his name in your filthy mouth!”

He nodded slowly, and reached for another piece of cake.  

“Davey isn’t dead, son. He needed to disappear, and I made that happen.”

“Lies! You killed my brother and fed him to the sharks.”

“Noooo. No I didn’t.” He took a sip of tea, rose from the table, and refilled his mug from a pot warming by the fire.

“You’re sure I can’t tempt you with a warm cup of tea?”

“NO!” I thundered. “Just tell me what happened to David!”

Roberts retook his seat. “We never killed anyone who didn’t try to kill us first, and we never kidnapped anyone who didn’t want to be kidnapped. Yet, our exploits were legend.”

“That’s ridiculous! No one wants to be kidnapped!” I snapped.

“Ah, son, that’s where you are wrong,” he said, shaking his head.  

I looked at him, my jaw clenched, my anger radiating outward.

“What. Do. You. Mean? Are you saying that David wanted to be kidnapped?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

I took a step closer, my sword moving closer to Roberts’s throat.

“Explain!” I demanded, “Or die where you sit!”

“Your brother, Davey, saw things that he shouldn’t have seen. There were unsavoury things going on in your city.”

I paused. It was true. Our city was a dangerous cesspool of murderers, robbers, corruption, and graft.

“Florin was a terrible city, son. I know because it was there where I met your brother.”

I stared. He knew we were from Florin. How was that possible? We were deep in the forest, hundreds of miles from the city.

“Davey worked the docks. It was there that he saw the mayor of Florin kill a woman, and dump her body in the harbour. Unfortunately, the mayor also saw Davey, and he only had to ask around to find out his name.”

I stared in disbelief. David did work the docks. All sorts of misdeeds happened at the at the waterfront after dark.

“My ship was in Florin to, let’s say, persuade a certain wealthy family to pay me to leave their fleet alone. The Dread Pirate Roberts ship, The Ghost, is known far and wide as a fighting ship not to be trifled with. Our reputation as pirates has yet to be surpassed. We are feared far-and-wide. This family that I speak of, has many ships travelling to many countries and lands. Carrying rich and coveted cargo. I had a spy in their midst, and I relayed the fact that I knew of their treasures, and would capture their ships, pillage them, and sink them. The family had no reason to doubt my sincerity. They agreed, and paid me in gold to leave their fleet alone.” He sipped his tea. “I was leaving after being informed that the bounty had been safely stowed in The Ghost, when the mayor rushed in, yelling about a certain man having seen him dispatch the young woman. The mayor, a family member, needed the man, one David Harrowsmith, to disappear before he told anyone what he had seen.”

I lowered my sword. Immediately after David’s disappearance, the mayor’s henchmen had harassed our family, threatening us with imprisonment if we did not tell them where he was. But after the rumours of David’s kidnapping and death at the hands of the the Dread Pirate Roberts circulated, the harassment ended.

“How did David find you?”

“Well, I actually found him. He was hiding near the the gangway to my ship. When I confronted him, he said he wanted to join the crew, that he needed to leave Florin, immediately. We were down a couple of crew members, so I took him on. He had experience with ships. It wasn’t until I found out who he actually was, that I started the rumour that I had kidnapped him and feed his body to sharks.” He looked at me, and smiled. “I see my rumours and lies made it back to Florin.”

“It did. And it devastated my family. When I heard what you had done, I set out for revenge. Now, it seems as if I should be thanking you for saving my brother’s life.”

Roberts nodded slowly. We sat there in silence.

I looked up, making eye contact. “Is David alive?” I asked.

Roberts smiled. “He was last time we spoke.”

“Where is he?” I asked.

“I don’t rightly know,” said Roberts, shaking his head.

I was confused. How could he know David was alive, but not know where he is.

“Where did you see him?”

“Ah,” said Roberts inclining his head in understanding. “I saw him in this very room. He came to ask me a favour.”

“What favour?” I asked.

“He asked me not to kill you when you came to seek revenge for his supposed death.”

I was more confused than ever.

“I don’t understand,” I said.

“It seems that Davey got wind of your quest to track me down. He knew you were close, and he wanted to warn me, and make sure that I spared your life.”

“He knew I was coming? But how?”

“You see, son, your brother is now the captain of The Ghost. People tell him things, especially if there is danger afoot.”

"You are the Dread Pirate Roberts! You are the captain of The Ghost! You are the man I sought!”

“That is true. I was the Dread Pirate Roberts. But I was getting old, and found the sea a bit much for my bones. I longed for a home on the land. And Davey needed to stay away from Florin, for his safety as well as your family's. If those in Florin found out that he was alive, you would all be in danger. Instead, when I retired, he became the Dread Pirate Roberts.”

"I don't believe you!" I sputtered.

"It’s true!’ said a voice behind me.

I turned, and there stood David, a big smile on his face.

September 16, 2023 01:13

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