Lost to Phantom Buzz

“This book? I guess it’s alright. The guy stands up for something anyway. I probably look like I’m glued to it. You know, I didn’t realize that I haven’t read a book for years? I haven’t had my phone in hand these past few days; it’s like I have more time in the day. I’m almost forced to read to pass the time without it. 

“The phantom buzz thing is obnoxious. I’m constantly feeling for my pockets, and then realizing they’re not there either. My wife thinks it’ll be good for me. She calls it my sidekick – like it’s always with me. And I suppose it’s because I use it to back up my opinions with news. She says it was just pissing me off anyway. It was pissing her off – that’s the truth. We used to be inseparable. Now we’re always grinding on one another’s nerves. I guess this will be a little break from one another. Perhaps we’ll miss each other. She never listens to me anymore. ‘Oh, shut up. Enough. Why do you want to be angry?’ That’s all I get. But, it’s not my phone that pisses me off. It’s all the crap that’s on it. Every time I open the news it’s something – shameful. The radical left pissing on our heritage. 

“I plead guilty out of pride and respect for myself and my country. Law and Order. Do the crime, do the time. Damn right I broke the law. So did our forefathers. They said they could get me for assaulting a federal officer, for obstructing an official proceeding, and for a half a dozen other lines of BS. Nonetheless, I’m not an idiot, and I knew the plea deal was my best option. So I now have ‘Parading, picketing, or demonstrating in the Capitol building’ – or some crap like that on my record, and here I am. Gonna wear that shit like a badge of honor. 

“I had to stand my ground. I think that’s what the big guy was doing. We’re getting pushed around. This is not the country I grew up in. It’s not the country my parents grew up in, or their parents. Am I right? I served this country. I put my life on the line for this country, and for decades since, the elites have been running around apologizing to the rest of the world for my service. They’ve been spitting on my friends' sacrifices. Bending over backwards to put us last. Shelling out billions to every corner of the globe and to every shameless beggar while our factories and bridges fall apart. You can’t run an economy selling each other pizzas. Pizza workers getting fifteen dollars an hour? Everyone getting fifteen dollars an hour? You want to close every small business across the country? I worked from the day I was old enough. I had almost two decades at the mill before it closed. That’s what I don’t get. My wife, god bless her, she was a social worker. She worked hard, but she sees things differently than I do. I’m all for helping people, but they got to help themselves too. At the mill, with hardwork, loyalty, and gumption, I moved up little by little until I was a manager. If we did a maintenance shutdown I’d work round the clock – I’m talking days on end – right through it. I didn’t cry about it. And I did well. I bought my houses. Bought my trucks. Paid my taxes. I’ll say it again, I paid my taxes. Now these out-of-state folks are moving in and pushing up prices. They vote for every goddamn levy. Bike lanes and bike lanes. I bet I’ve paid thousands of dollars in taxes for bike lanes. I’d like to know just how much. Pisses me off. And listen to this: my wife voted for them! It’s like we’re canceling each other out. Two votes down the drain. I don’t even know what these people value. They want to take the money away from the police departments and… what?... make bike lanes? Make free heroin injection centers? Make homeless camps? I swear I can’t believe it. I won’t stand for it. I don’t even recognize this country. There’s so much crime, you might as well live in Mexico. You’d be safer getting your head chopped off there than you are running a small business here. Permission to loot? To destroy property? To riot? And they say what I did was a crime? 

“Listen, I’m not a hero. But I’m not a coward. The big guy said, ‘Be there!’ so I showed up. My wife wouldn’t go. She told me not to. She said it was a ‘fool’s errand.’ Said I was ‘being used.’ Now she won’t visit me while I’m in here. She says she’s ashamed to come around. She’s a good woman. A good woman. But she just doesn’t see what’s going on. She doesn’t have the perspective and the experiences that I have. 

“The big guy said chip in. I donate often. He will be the president again. I keep chipping in to defend our election integrity. I haven’t seen him step into the legal battles on my behalf, or on behalf of any of us that stood up for him when he asked us to, but I think he’s waiting until he’s back in power. I’ll wear this shit like a badge of honor. That is money well-spent if you ask me. And there’d be more money to spend if the liberals quit dragging the economy into the ditch with spending, spending, spending every chance they get. It’s like none of them ever had a budget or learned how to save. 

“I can’t even imagine what stupid shit must be happening right now with all these Democrats at the wheel. IIt makes me want to check my phone. I’ll tell you what’s happening – we’re shipping all the jobs to China. When I was raising a family, a man – a person, whatever– could earn a living on one job. Kept the household running how it ought to. Union jobs. With benefits. And a kid could get one out of high school, if they worked hard anyway. But the green police –- the environmentalists – and I swear I love the outdoors – shut it all down. We’re just letting the Chinese do it all now, and they’re raking us over the coals. 

“You vote? Yeah of course you do. Everyone is voting – twice, three times. You think your vote counts? Think again. They’re tracking everything right here. Oh, that’s just my thigh again. No pocket in these goddamn pajamas. I could show you if I had my phone. Guess I gotta read this book. First time I’ve read a book in years. I used to read a couple a week. Now I can’t hardly finish an article before I’m on to the next thing. It feels so pressing. My wife keeps telling me to put it away. To have limits. To read a book. But she’s on hers just as much. Gabbing with her sister and so on. They can chatter away. Anyway, I like to get notified when news is breaking. It’s hard to miss something then. Informed citizenry, you know? It’s our responsibility, you know? History in the making right now. But it’s more like a reformation. We got to remake our country great again. It’s a great country, but it’s being dragged down and dirtied. It just pisses me off. It just does. It’s just… It’s just… It’s breaking my heart. 

“Listen, it’s gonna be a haul in here. I’m gonna try to write a letter to my wife. Will you do me a favor? Make sure I send her a letter everyday. She won’t come to see me, stubborn thing she is, but I don’t want to lose her. I can’t lose her now.

“I’m going to finish this damn book too. You can read it next.”