Sleep

Sleep…?

“I can’t sleep….”

Have you ever had the feeling that something needs to be done, but you were sidetracked because of something? That something is usually ‘productive,’ but in Joanna’s case? Well…. 

Joanna had to sleep because of the big test tomorrow, but found herself unable to do so, which tortured her since, even though nowadays, she was less infamous, back in high school, her nickname was: “Sleeping Beauty.” Awaiting her prince to come to her to awake her from her sleep with a kiss. But it seemed like her parents were right: Age is something that makes you sleep less...? 

She sighed once more. Maybe the excess sleep that she slept during the years caught up to her. But on the other hand, it was a peaceful day on campus, with her day filled with sleep, waking up at 11:00 A.M. Then she ate some lunch and then went to the library to study for that big test about cultural studies… Ah… the test. The big final test was the reason why she had to sleep so early to get to class tomorrow. 

Joanna groaned, “Ugh… Sometimes I wish this habit of mine was gone. That test…. Can’t the world be test-free for once?’ 

Even though she was the one at fault, she thought with much resent about herself and tests, which…to be frank, is the thought that goes through the minds of all students once in a while, or all the time. She suddenly felt a smirk come to her lips, mischievously thinking, 

‘Should I just meet the professor next semester?’

She giggled softly, knowing that her roommate was happily in dreamland. Joanna then sighed once more: What was she going to do about that test, and what was she going to do without any sleep? She had only one answer, and she knew it. 

She closed her eyes and began to count sheep, as everyone said was helpful in times of amnesia. But on the other hand, she…. She had to stop thinking. She started to count sheep, until she reached the 48^th one, when she broke out in a sweat. 

She was gradually starting to fall asleep, but why did she stop? She then realized the reason now, why she couldn’t sleep in the first place. Yes, sleeping beauty and stuff was part of the reason, but another reason lay behind it also: She was sometimes afraid to sleep, because she felt angst, because she thought she might die without saying goodbye. 

Goodbye. 

Which happened about two years ago, when her dear mother had passed away at the age of…. Forty-eight. Joanna sighed. It had been two years, and yet it was still fresh in her mind. She felt some tears come to her eyes until she thought of something:

‘Well, it’s my role now to live, isn’t it?’ 

She was tortured by thoughts of anxiety, and she didn’t want to be plagued once more. She closed her eyes, and she felt peace come over right in her heart as an overflowing river. Suddenly, she felt some tears come, but this time, she knew what it was. Joanna smiled, and slowly fell asleep. 

In one moment, she heard the boisterous alarm of her smartphone go off, and she was up in a second. 

‘It feels like a millisecond, and I feel great…’ She smiled, and also knew why she had slept well. She could hear a mysterious and yet familiar voice and laughter, saying to her, 

“Joanna, go ace that test, my daughter. You’ll see your mother later, after your work is done there, okay? You go girl!” 

Joanna nodded and when she looked at the sky, she saw the sun was up, all darkness gone, and she knew that darkness could never, ever win light and smiled once more. She jumped started her day by going to the shower and got prepared for this day that was granted to her, as one among many, but also precious because it was granted to her. 

She prepared her bag, checked to see if everything was there and headed out the dormitory room, saying a quick goodbye, see you later to her roommate, who waved as she set out to rest on her free day. Joanna saw the sun’s radiance shine above her, and she smiled. Something she needed after some time in the darkness. Once more, she knew that darkness could never win over light. She sighed once more as she walked to the lecture hall to take her big finals in a moment now. 

Joanna, for some odd reason felt compelled to take the stairs to the lecture hall, located at the third floor of this building which she was in currently. She suddenly felt a surge of confidence go through her system and thought that she could do this! 

With glee, she ran up the remaining flight of stairs up, and in the lecture hall she went in. Joanna felt the jukebox- excuse me, the smartphone carrying her music turn on a peaceful, beautiful music of a sunset, circuit course she played in Mario Kart. 

With fists up, she took her seat and waited for the test sheet to come her way, as it happened, the professor’s assistant came in right about the same time as she did. When the assistant saw that everyone was accounted for, and those who weren’t… well, let’s just say that it turned out that they were those who loved the professor teaching this course dearly, and were that professor’s number one fans. 

“Now, everyone, please put away any electronic devices, and let’s clean up the area around us to get ready for the test!” 

Every student in that hall did as they were told, and they grabbed a pen or pencil as the assistant handed out the test papers. Joanna thought positively, until something was strange: The ones who had received a test sheet were silent. Eerily silent. That wasn’t a promising sign. Even though she wasn’t afraid to flunk this class, it didn’t mean that she didn’t want a good grade. Feeling anxious, she received the test sheet, and her eyes widened as she took a good look at the first and only question. Ah…. There was a reason behind the eerie silence. She got straight to work on the test.