F-R-I-E-N-D-S

"Hi Robert, wanna hang out?"

That was the text I sent him, three days ago, and he replied to it more or less like this:

"Hey, sure. Where? I'm free on Monday, 4:30 P.M. Location, up to you... There's also something I wanna tell you."

And I replied to his reply:

"Sorry, just say ur text. My place, for our rendezvous?"

And he said:

"Yea sure, see you there and then!"

Today's Monday, and I have something to tell him, and it's serious.

I-

I-

I like Raffi...

We've been friends for five years, 3 months and 5 days... and I've admired him, a lot, and I- I just like him.

He's kind, and he's very charming, he's always goofing around with his younger brother, and I've always been delighted to watch him from afar.

I talked it over with my parents and when I asked, "Is it normal for me to like someone?" they said yes, but when I said, "Should I go deeper?" they said no.

He is, if submissively traced the bloodline, my very far-flung cousin.

He's a month older than me, for he was born in February and I in March.

My parents said that even if I do like him, I should hold it all to myself, and just turn out to be friends. My feelings weren't valid for my age, and so, now, I mean, I will stay friends with him.

That's the best option.

This afternoon, I'll meet him and keep silent. I won't tell him any of my feelings and smile my way through my feelings.

I made a poem about my experience, here it goes~~~

In the depths of my heart,

I feel the feelings drown deep,

Yet, I don't know how to play my part,

Oh it's impossible, he's out of reach,

By silence, by sound,

My affection, like a plant, ever grows,

My head's spinnin' 'round,

Will I or won't I, give a rose?

This cannot be,

I'm not of age,

I'm drowning at sea,

Feelings a mix, sad, happy, or filled with rage?

There is no way,

I can be with him,

And of course, I keep boys at bay,

With all my silly fancies and whims,

If you don't know yet,

I like to work alone,

I haven't even said anything to him, that's related to my feelings, not yet,

Wishing on dandelions, by the wind, blown,

I am an independent woman,

I like to do things with me, myself and I,

I don't need no billionaire man,

Cock my gun, BULL'S-EYE!

I'll keep you close,

But just in my heart,

In front of you, wear up my best pose,

I think, I've played my part,

Don't think you can win,

My heart away,

Not even touch my bare skin,

Let us be kids and let us just play,

Keep smiling, keep shining,

I hope we can be friends,

Stop whining,

This isn't the end,

I just wanna see,

If you're feelings are the same,

Maybe as me,

This is kinda awkward, full of shame,

Never do I wanna get married,

but that's still a maybe,

ain't wanna get carried,

away, no sir ee!

Stay the way you are,

Stay innocent please,

Even when I'm far,

Smell your cologne in the autumn breeze,

I don't wanna get romantic,

No, love birds, tbh are kinda gross,

No, I won't act dramatic,

This ain't the end, my heart isn't closed,

No hopes for the future,

No feelings, no more at present,

This love don't have any structure,

We need it, but we don't have cement.

I don't wanna be in a relationship,

Don't want "us" to fail,

No, don't ship,

Us, this is just a fictional tale,

No I won't go away,

With anyone else,

Oh yea,

Except I, me, myself,

Please stop whining,

Our story's still writing,

Flowers ever twining,

No kisses or fighting,

I don't want to be in contact,

with boys, yet, you know,

Not of age, it's a fact,

So just, please, let me go...

We meet every week,

Look at each other from afar,

Maybe, one day, we'll get to speak,

Stay the way you are,

Please, we're not done,

Promise me we aren't,

My feelings are none,

This is simple, not garrant,

We're still family,

Mom, dad, grandpa, granny,

Are we meant to be?

I can't answer that, sorry...

Sorry not sorry,

You're good but will never be mine,

I s'pose, one day, if we really are meant to be,

But for now, goodbye, remember, you're fine! ✨

Say no, say yes,

I'll be your queen or your slave,

Meeting you was a bless,

This isn't our last wave.

deep sincere (platonic) feelings,

Naya.

Thank you to all those people who helped me (even though they might not notice) make this story and poem.

My friends, who helped me to tell my parents,

My parents, who talked to me about him,

My brain, who helped me think sensible thoughts,

My train of thoughts, who made me stop doing stupid stuff,

My heart, that helped me manage my feelings,

My feelings, who helped me control myself,

My nerves, who gave me courage to let go of him,

My diary, who was ready to listen to anything I had to say,

My pen, who without, I couldn't have had this idea to write a story,

My laptop, who helped me write,

My internet, who helped me use Reedsy.

Thank you, to everyone involved in this story.

And thank you, Robert.

That is not his real name but I'm just, I can't write his name because, I don't have his permission.

Thank you every single one person.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Gratitude Poem

Thank you, dear universe, for all you give,

Your blessings are endless, and your love, we live.

Thank you for the sun that shines so bright,

And lights up our lives with its warm delight.

Thank you for the earth that nourishes our feet,

And provides us with all we need to eat.

Thank you for the air that fills our lungs,

And lets us breathe in life, and all its songs.

Thank you for the people in our lives,

Who bring us joy, and make our hearts thrive.

Thank you for the love that we share,

And the memories we make, beyond compare.

Thank you for the lessons we learn each day,

And the growth that comes our way.

Thank you for the chances we take,

And the dreams that we make, with hearts that ache.

Thank you for the laughter and the tears,

And the moments that bring us cheer.

Thank you for the grace that guides us through,

And the strength that sees us through.

Thank you, dear universe, for all you give,

Your blessings are endless, and your love, we live.

I'll see you soon.