The Eclipse and The Ghost

The trail deviated like a worm. It pitched steeply up despite the fact that Little Bald Mount was notoriously known for being a gentle hill rather than a literal mountain. But Adam didn’t mind expending a bit of hard labor to climb up to the top where he could get a vantage point of the entire Tahoe National Forest and most pivotally, witness with peace and quiet the one-of-a-kind solar eclipse that only paid the earth a visit once every 20 years. The weather was impeccable for such an occasion! Neither too hot to leave our skin caramelized nor too chilly for patches of chicken skin, the balmy air embraced the people in the forest as tenderly as a mother cheered her kid up when he was blue. The sky hovering above was clear azure, polka dotted with wisps of plain cotton candy. Adam took a brief pause. He lifted his face up, his eyes calmly drew the curtains, and his face was kissed affectionately by the gushy sun. He was taking in the sublime scenery of this special day. He stretched his ticklish ears, trying to catch up with the whispering gossip of the wind and young ferns on both of his sides. The deep green of forest never failed to lavish on his whole being a sort of heavenly tranquility. He felt weightless as if he could even fly to God.

“Go over there, Adam!” A light voice chimed out of nowhere.

It jolted Adam into rolling up his lids. No. To be more precise, it jolted his mind and soul and everything. He started to move, up and up, along the mountain trail, to the place the voice hastened him to. He was not totally surprised by the sudden appearance of that voice, however. In a way, he had been expecting it. Because it was her; she must have been awfully pumped to see the eclipse and run out of patience when waiting for his solitary exchange with nature. It had always been on her bucket list to actually see a solar eclipse – this time, they were likely to be honored with a total eclipse, according to the news.

**

The full beauty of the forest was truly just available at the summit. It was beyond Adam’s vocabulary to describe how much Demeter had invested in Tahoe forest. Yonder, vast expanses of verdure lounged around, every now and then letting out its undulating breath. The huge turnout probably stifled it, yet Adam bet it rather enjoyed the crowd with crispy laughs of tiny tots and exciting chats of adults that inevitably provoked curiosity. Bordering the ground were old sugar pines, whose cones were playing hide-and-seek either with themselves or the people down there. The taste of spring was delicious! Adam felt like he had an edge over everyone else as he was dominating this very spot, where he was able to watch all the fun without being disturbed by the dense population and thus distracted from the soon-to-come eclipse. She and he, together, discovered the small place when they went hiking 2 years ago. Since the trail sloped pretty high, very few desired to reach the top, one of whom was them. And they found out about the existence of their little bijou. There was no hedge, simply a fairly eroded ridge lining the area. There was no shelter, nakedly a direct contact with heavens if one looked up. Pleased as punch with the surroundings, Adam took out from his backpack an 84-inch checkered tablecloth, carefully placed his water bottle on the left, and plotted down. He stretched out his legs, which he had to admit were wearily sore, and he leaned back, propping the weight of his upper body with two arms steadily to the back, fingers pointing towards the horizon.

Today was the day. He finally got a chance to fulfil her wish, even though he doubted she could actually see the eclipse. Looking back, nearly a year had whizzed past since the world lost an angel, he lost his heart. Since leukemia returned her to God. Within 3 months she stayed in the hospital because her body was too weak to be elsewhere, he did check off almost all of the things on her bucket list: build a telescope, convert her bookshelves into a free public library, make him read the Bible, overcome her fear of dogs, and so on. Speaking of her fright at dogs, Adam caught himself with a faint grin. He recalled how strenuous it was to get her used to the Chihuahua he borrowed from his mother. For the first week, he had to constantly hang about the hospital room with the dog in his arms so that she was gradually familiarizing herself with it. Then, once acquaintance was established, he narrowed the vicinity between the Chihuahua and her, and eventually succeeded in having her comfortably stroke its wavy fawn hair. In the end, he ended up being a secret agent occasionally bringing the dog into her room, hiding from her parents and the doctor. How she killed him with her sulky pout and puppy eyes when he didn’t allow her to touch the fur! Adam began to feel something hot in the slit of his eyes that was about to spill over. With promptness, he took a long breath and regained his composure. He would not ruin this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. He needed a clear view. For her. For the unfulfilled wish that he couldn’t afford to bring to her by the moment she rested her head on his shoulder with a deceptive calm on the face, and fell into an eternal slumber he was not permitted to join.

Adam was not superstitious, but in some way, he had been feeling her presence whenever and wherever he went. He wondered if it was his imagination, or his stubborn denial of reality, or it might really be the ghost of hers that had kept him company when the corporeal self fell apart. He didn’t care about any speck of uncertainty on and off scratching his mind anymore. He believed she was here; she heard him, though he couldn’t; she saw him, though he couldn’t; she was going to watch the eclipse – with him.

“You ready, babe?” Adam asked.

Silence.

“I bet you are.”

**

“It’s happening!” The crowd was shouting hysterically. Fathers called daughters, wives called husbands, boys called girls. Everyone was calling each other. “Come on! Come on!”

It was 3pm. Adam put on the designated glasses to prevent the eyes from damage of the sun. The pair of glasses to specially see the solar eclipse she bought on their trip in Colorado. So they wouldn’t have to get ones at a mighty high price when the eclipse took place; that was her explanation as he asked her why she purchased the glasses. She was literally earnest in her preparation for the eclipse.

“Wowww!” A raucous clamor broke out, full of awe and nerves.

Adam sat straight up, his hands were clutching the flat sides of the glasses. The eclipse was happening. All of a sudden, shadow swallowed up the sun; a black hole sucked up scraps of brightness on earth, recklessly and voraciously, as if it was attempting to bleed humans dry of oxygen. The sun was completely trapped, but it was, with might and main, finding ways to escape, or to beat the malicious darkness with its withering energy. It was going to great pains to giving out light, though poorly flickering, still creating a pale halo around the black hole. From a certain point of view, it looked like an evil eye of a black cat, mockingly staring at lame humans and declaring its omnipotence with terrifying confidence. It was downright blackness now. At least about their lovely bijou. But things were perfectly visible thanks to the mini flashlights of smartphones over there, scattered hither and thither, twinkling evenly like stars shot on the ground.

“It’s unbelievable, babe!”

Adam was sharply jerked. It wasn’t because the voice made itself heard again; it was because the voice felt so real, realer than ever before. It was not the distant voice that he oftentimes heard reverberating inside him. It was close and had texture. The exact voice he could never and would never forget. Sweet, downy, but simultaneously deep and low and thick, always so genuine, so soothing like a salve to his wound. The voice that was like a murmur of waves. The voice that was like light wind in hot summer, whispering into the ears cooling air to relieve the suppressive heat. The voice that was like that of a nightingale, abounding with hope and calmness. To prove him right, he turned his head to the right, from which the voice came. “Click…click…click” – camera shutters were snapping away nonstop afar. Adam was goggle-eyed. The clicks popped like bubbles. He couldn’t tell his jaw was dropping hard or not, in spite of his half-conscious effort to keep it close. The clicks trailed off. He didn’t hear anything. He didn’t feel anything. He couldn’t move. Only streams of tears poured out from his unblinking eyes. He couldn’t control anything anymore. Trails of tears darted through his cheeks. Couldn’t help. His teeth came together, clenched, stiffened. He was going crazy!

She was right there. The love of his life was right there. It couldn’t be anyone else but her. The pear-shaped face, soulful eyes that contained a lot to tell you, her ashy long hair, her one-side dimple, her smile, her everything. She was sitting next to him; her legs bent, and the beautiful face lazily laid on the arms. They were wrapped neatly on her unmistakable knees, the left of which was indented with a peanut-sized scar. Adam saw the scar achingly throbbing on that round knee. She was looking at him. Mischievously. She was turning to him. She was smiling at him. Lovingly. She was here.

As soon as awareness restored itself, he quickly, greedily, fully grabbed her hands and hugged her. He was going to lose her one more time if he didn’t do it quick. It was a firm hug; he didn’t want to let go of her. Each chord in his heart was going right, not off-beat. He was literally feeling her. He chafed her back, nestling his face in her shoulder. He might have wetted her shirt to the skin. He had lost the ability to stop. He wept like an orphan finding his mother. He panted, “I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much!” Then afraid she would leave him, he begged her, pulled her closer, “Don’t leave me, please! Stay, stay, I can’t live without you. Please stay!” Adam whined pleadingly. His breathing was broken in rough rhythms; each time, it managed to let out the uh-uh whimper.

She was silent.

And with ease, she chafed his back, kissed his shoulder and felt him closer.

At last, their face met, shortly after which in a burst of longing, they kissed. It was real. She was here. He pressed his lips against hers. The patched lips of hers. The flakiness of the bottom. He licked it, like one savored every crumbs of bread in starvation time. Noticing her running short of breath, he released the lips, lingering as a mother said goodbye to her son. Their foreheads hit softly against each other. They felt each other, breathing in the same beat. In. Out. Their nostrils flared. Up. Down. Their chests heaved. The disquiet in the quiet of the forest.

“I’ve finally seen it! I’m so happy, babe!” She purred.

He gaily absorbed her words, which were for him and just him.

“Ohhh!” An uproar swelled up.

They both looked north and realized the iris of the cat’s eye was melting into molten lava. Its pupil was diminishing in size. The sun had reasserted its power. It meant that the eclipse was ending; light was seeping out little by little. Having a hunch about an approaching misfortune, Adam turned to her and she was fading! He flipped out.

“What happens? What happens? Why are you fading?” He shrieked.

She caressed his cheek and kissed it lightly. “Thank you for everything, babe! I can go with nothing to regret now,” She said, “I love you.”

Adam was utterly paralyzed to say anything other than holding her face whose weight he felt less and less. She smiled broadly at him, but he found himself incapable of smiling. Tears cascaded down aggressively. His face contorted into a sickened rictus. He was trembling like a leaf.

Boom!

Everything had recovered its brightness to the fullest. And she. Gone. Into the thin air.

“Uh…uh…uh...”

He was trying to catch something of her, even just her scent. He flailed around, waving his arms violently. But there was nothing he could catch. Stricken by the insolent futility of his action, he threw himself down, bending like a dead shrimp, hugging the rancid grief.

So, the ghost had been awaiting the eclipse. It had been with him the whole time.

But now, she had gone and the ghost had gone. All gone. And gone. And a hollow Adam.