Marital Deterioration and the Aftermath

“And to this day, Tony is still my best friend,” Pamela looked down the table at her ex husband and gleamed.  

It made Justine wince, but she forced a smile regardless and said through gritted teeth, “That is so nice.” She also had an ex husband at the table, but he was far from being her best friend.  She avoided eye contact and all interactions with him at all costs.  But it is hard to avoid an ex when you share a child, let alone a child who is getting married in one day.  

Alec, Justine’s recent boyfriend, sat next to her.  He was her comfort blanket during these types of situations.  She squeezed his rough hand and he squeezed her hand back and she felt comfort again. Justine took a sip of her wine.  She was not going to let the fact that Geoff was there get to her.

“What about you two?  You both were married, right?”  Pamala used both hands to point to both Justine and Justin’s ex husband, Geoff.  Justine somehow managed to swallow her wine without spitting it all over Geoff sitting directly in front of her. 

“Well, yes,” Geoff started.

“But no one wants to hear about that,” Justine added.

“Well, we finally agree on something,” Geoff said under his breath.

“Excuse me,” Justine started, “You want to know why we divorced? That's it right there.”  Justine pointed an accusatory finger at Geoff.

The room suddenly got quiet.  “You think that is why we got a divorce?  You think that we got a divorce over our not being able to agree on anything?  What about you screwing my best friend?  Did that not ruin our marriage?”  He shot daggers with his eyes at Alec. Alec responded by looking down in shame.

“Mom!  Dad!” A faint voice from the other side of the room called.

 “Maybe if you spent less time at work and more time focused on your family then you would still be married.”

A whistle from the head of the table caused all the heads in the room to turn to the tall man at the head of the table with two fingers in his mouth.  “Please!  Please!  Can we all settle down?  This is not about you all.  This is about me and Kara.” At that the tall man bent down a good foot to kiss the blond next to him.

“To Matthew and Kara!” Pamela cheersed.  

Justine rolled her eyes, “As if she didn’t start the whole commotion.”  She whispered to Alec.  He patted her leg and shushed her quiet. 

Later that evening, Justine looked at herself in the hotel mirror.  She didn’t always have these bags under her eyes.  Where did these lines on her forehead come from?  Why is her hair so gray? What Happened to her? How did she get so withered? She can’t even think straight.  How did she end up where she was right now? What happened to her marriage? 

At that moment, she felt strong arms wrap around her and a kiss on the back of her neck.  She smiled and looked at Alec’s eyes through the mirror.  His bright blue eyes looked right back at her.  

“I wasn’t happy, was I?” She asked.

The loving face Alec made suddenly turned into confusion.  “Happy?  What do you mean?”

“I mean when we started…” She didn’t know how to finish the sentence.

“Sleeping together?” Justine nodded, thankful that she didn’t have to say it. “No, you weren't. That was when you would call me crying at least once a week looking for Geoff, hoping he was with me and I could lure him back home, but he never was.” 

Justine nodded again. Turned around and kissed Alec deeply.  His beard scratched her face, but she loved the scratch.  That scratch was comforting to her.

At the same time, down the hall Geoff laid on top of the comforter, fully clothed except for his shoes. The television was on, but that is not where his focus was.  He looked down at his hand, wrinkled from his time working in the sun.  The other side of the bed was vacant.  It had been ever since Justine left.  Not just in this hotel room, but in every bed he slept in.  Sure there was a woman or two he would bring home from the bar, but no one could ever match Justine. 

Geoff looked at his ring finger.  Once upon a time, there was a ring there.  When that was gone, there was an indent and pale skin.  Now the finger looked as though there was never a ring.  His finger, a uniform color and a uniform shape.

He still loved Justine.  He always loved Justine.  But he also loved his work and providing for his family.  How could she not see that he loved her?  He made sure she could want for nothing.  He worked day and night so that he could provide for her and their family, but that was clearly not enough.  What else could she possibly want? And she took his love and stomped all over it.

In the morning Justine took a shower, dried her hair, and pulled mascara across her lashes.  She slipped into her jeans, careful not to wake Alec.  This was always part of their relationship, she was an early riser and he loved to sleep in.  She gave him a kiss on the forehead before heading down to the hotel lobby, where the receptionist pointed to a small room off to the side to find coffee and a light breakfast.

As she entered the room she locked eyes with Geoff.  He was sitting at a table smack dab in the middle of the room with an empty plate.  He had one hand around a white mug and a newspaper folded up in the other .  She gave a tight lipped smile and he nodded back.

She pumped herself a cup of coffee, adding low fat milk, sniffing it before pouring it and the possibility of ruining the cup.  She found a plate and added a blueberry muffin.

The room was small and the few tables were all occupied.  She approached the table where Geoff sat.

“Do you mind if I sit?” She gestured to the seat across from him.

“Not at all.  Go ahead.” He glanced at her from the top of his glasses but quickly looked back at his newspaper and took a sip from his mug. 

She sat and peeled the paper off one side of the muffin.  She continued to pick away at her muffin and Geoff sipped from his mug until the silence became too much.

“Geoff?”  He looked up from his newspaper, this time giving her his full attention. “What went wrong?  Like really wrong?  And don’t mention Alec.  This started long before Alec.”

He put the newspaper down, squared his body up with hers, and thought about his words.  “I guess we just drifted apart.  My work was important to me and the children were important to you.”

Justine nodded as they stared at each other.  Nothing else needed to be said.  The details and events leading up to the divorce was not the problem.  The problem was ignoring each other for so long. Always putting other things first.

They didn’t say another word the rest of breakfast.  When he was ready to leave, he gave Justine a warm smile.  He parted his lips to say something but then thought better of it.  Then he tried again,  “I will see you at the wedding.”

“I’ll see you at the wedding,” She repeated.