Live Another Life

"Please, don't do it, calm down we can talk about this." She said as I held the knife firm. "How do I stay calm when all you do is lie? Every damn thing is a lie isn't it?" My mother stood barely 10 feet away from me, she let her tears run down. "Why didn't you at least try to understand me?" She shook her head. "Something's wrong with you, I know it, just come to church with us and we'll fix you."

I stared into the glistening starey night. Of course, it was always somehow related to god. "Is that all I am to you? someone who broken?"

"You know that's not what I meant. Stop being like this." She said as she slowly approached me. "Move!" I shouted while holding the knife towards her. "You made me like this ma, can't you see?"

I never made a monster, I never made someone who could cause this, no this was all the devil doing." She said with her heart fully in it. Devil my ass. Why does it always have to relate to the man in red? He doesn't even exist. "Stop it with all this devil talk, there's no such thing," I said as I lost my breath. "Why does it always involve something else, am I not enough?" She's down sobbing as her hands are smeared with blood. "How can you be enough when you did this?! You are enough, you will be once you end this, I promise you it'll all end."

The end of her words was ringing inside my head.

it'll all end.

Funny it might just be that way.

"Why should I succumb to someone who was never here, to begin with? someone who allowed me to suffer someone-"

"I'm telling you, it's just the devil talking, just put it down." I felt my ears ringing louder, it felt like rays of spikes hitting my brain. I kneeled on the ground squeezing my head to end the pain. "Are you okay? Come, son"

I held the knife in her direction once more. "Leave me alone, I was never your son," I said as I stood up, I looked around to find cars pulling up around me, she called the cops on me, didn't she? That bitch...I held the knife nice and high so everyone can see.

I felt my head splitting into two.

"You're coming with me," I said as I grabbed and yanked my mother towards me and held the knife right towards her throat. "Say one thing, and I'll let you see your god," I said into her ear, she was trembling but nodded. "Leave!" I shouted as the cars only grew closer.

I pushed the knife a little closer to her throat. "Again, leave."

I heard a voice screaming from the distance, I turned and noticed it was my little sister, she saw our dad's corpse. "Jay...that's not him is it?" I looked at her with tears flooding my eyes. "go away, you're not safe here."

I said as I turned away. "Neither are you!" She shouted. I felt my body rejecting what I truly wanted. "Just go," I said turning away from her. I faced the cops before me as they shouted at me to put her down,

A strong beam of light was over me, why spend so much on a helicopter for some random woman's life?

I banged my hand against the bark of the knife.

"Get it together" I repeated to myself.

I looked over to my sister putting her hands over her eyes to stop the beam of light hitting her eyes. "Stop this please, you know this isn't what you want." I felt my head finally turning right for once.

"How do you know what I want? Day after day you people put me over the edge." I said as I slide the knife closer to her skin cutting it allowing some blood to run. "You know it was all jokes, you know we love you, you can end this"

All those times when they talked behind my back, acting as if they never tried to talk about sending me out to another country, as if they never allowed him to stay after he hurt me.

"Then why do you leave a dead beat whos only worth is to perish, you allowed him to stay Ma, why!?" I said as I shook her and held it against her neck pushing it deeper waiting for her answer. She shook her head. "He was the only one who was able to make money, you know this, how else will we live if we leave him?" I froze for a moment, they knew full well but end up making him stay.

I took the knife away from her throat and slowly drove it inside her leg as she began to fall. "What about me?"

I said as she screeched in pain. "What's wrong with you!?" She screamed as her tears ran from her face.

My sister ran up to us before I grabbed her too. "For someone who always had good grades, good emotions, knowing always what to do, that move wasn't as smart as you think."

I said as I pinned her on the ground holding the knife against the nap of her neck. I felt my eyes began to water, but I also began to smile. Maybe once we all leave this forsaken world, maybe we'll live happily like how I wanted.

Both of them were now down to my feet, I felt they hearts bumping against their chest. "Pray to your god Ma, maybe he could bring us somewhere we could be a family." I said with tears flooding and a smile coming out.

She kept shaking her head as I picked her head up, I looked at her, wiping away the blood and dirt all over her face, I held it close to her neck before praying for her. "May the lord allow us to be a family, in the afterlife to anew life." I said as I started to cut deeply inside her throat.

She gasped before the blood began to seep into her throat. She gurgled as I got off of her, she grabbed her throat before slowly losing feeling in her body.

"Now, the same for you." I said as I squeezed my sister tightly and began to cry. "You don't have to, you can still make it righ-"

She stopped after the knife was driven into her back. I took it out before stabbing her more times until she stopped moving.

The cops didn't say a word, they watched me as the knife had the life of its own. I couldn't stop the tears from flooding as I began to turn it towards me. "I'm sorry" I said in hopes they can still hear me before they go off to the new world. "Kid, Put it down." I heard a cop said, but I kept it close to my neck as I looked up into the sky, I want my family to look at me before I go. "Thank you." I said in hopes they could hear me. I ran through my neck.

I felt my blood running out of me as I lost my footing. I felt my body run cold.

I fell to my knees before my head began to fall too.

I can't wait to see you guys again, we'll be a family.

As I thought to myself I wanted to see them again, I opened my eyes to see a bright light hitting my eyes.

So it was real, funny.

I smiled at the fact I can see my family again. Everything began to run black as I began to go limp.

See you guys soon