The Conference

Valerie Kemp hates networking events. Which is why she is grumpily rummaging around her overstuffed closet for something – anything - to wear while trying to come up with a believable story to get herself out of going to the conference tonight. Valerie has successfully avoided all previous events. Tonight however, her best office friend Josh begged her to come. Joshua Butler is a fun outgoing guy and happens to be speaking at the event. Against her better judgment, knowing full well that her highly introverted ass would prefer to stay home reading a book all cozied up with her fur baby, she agreed to go and support her friend. To her horror, Josh texted her an hour ago saying that before the conference there would be drinks at the bar of the hotel where the conference will be held, and he wants her to show up and network with other industry professionals. At the office, in addition to being a friend Josh is somewhat of a mentor to Valerie, and is always giving her advice and direction for advancement. Networking being one of the things she hates the most and what Josh pushes her hardest on. She suspects this has more to do with his outgoing nature than her career but he insists his main motivation is the latter. So now she has to actually talk to people. This is too much. Since Josh’s text, Valerie has had little knots of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Finally finding the one item of clothing that fit her newly slimmer and more toned figure, she tries to think positive. Valerie has been working hard at creating a full and healthy life for herself. She runs, meditates, reads growth mindset books and exercises 6 times a week, she quit drinking, started eating healthier and tries to do things outside her comfort zone. Thanks to all these measures, she has lost 20 pounds and while she is happy with her slimmer figure, she now has very little work appropriate clothing that fits well. Thankfully, she had a black wrap dress that somehow looks flattering no matter what is going on underneath. Now dressed, she decides to focus on making the most of tonight. Grabbing her keys and giving her grey cat Furguson a kiss goodbye on the top of his warm little head, she headed out.

            Twenty minutes later she was pulling into the parking lot of the hotel, which caused a new wave of anxiety to wash over Valerie. There were so many cars here! The first step: find Josh immediately - quicker the better. Even if this event is boring and I meet no one important professionally, Josh is always good for a laugh she reminds herself. Valerie pulls into a parking space near the back of the parking lot and experiences a small rush of relief when she sees Josh’s black BMW a few rows away from her own car. Thank God he’s already here. Just then her phone vibrated in her purse, which was sitting in the passenger seat. Pulling out the phone she saw that there was a new message from Josh:

             Just arrived. Meet me in the bar when you get here!

Fantastic. A glass of wine will help loosen me up for all the being around people I will have to do tonight Valerie thought as she texted back:

                         Ok. Just parked. See you in a sec.

Walking up to the hotel Valerie was struck by a sudden memory of the last time she was at this hotel. It was with her ex Jeremy Aster, a week before he broke up with her. The memory is a confusing mingle of heavy sadness and warmth. She was never happier than she was that weekend with him. It was the perfect weekend and she could remember blissfully daydreaming about spending the rest of her life with Jeremy and being just as happy as she was then, forever. Now she knew he must have been having a very different weekend. He must have been planning how to get rid of her. Even now, four and a half years later, that thought still stings. How could she have been so blind? His sudden announcement that he was going to transfer to a college on the east coast and they were breaking up was the most painful experience of Valerie’s life. She spent months crying over him and trying to make sense of this sudden upturn of all she thought she knew. It was a full year before she could even think about dating again. She had had one relationship since, and it was almost embarrassing to think about. The guy was so obviously more into Valerie that she was into him. He was a kind, thoughtful man and Valerie was mad at herself for not being able to give more of herself to that relationship. Since Jeremy, everything was different. She seemed to feel a little closed off now. As if a part of herself is being protected or maybe died.

            The hotel entrance was Beautiful and decorated simply. There was a small area to the left with a desk for check in and a short hallway to the right that lead to the bar. Heading down the hall Valerie could already hear the crowd of people in the bar and knew it must be packed. She looked around and spotted Josh immediately. An impeccable dresser, Josh was in a black suit perfectly tailored to him with the trendy hairstyle of shaved sides and a longer bump of gelled hair on the top. His style is all seriousness until your eye reaches the loud tie. Bright green and almost hard to look at, the tie had diagonal lines which upon closer inspection, were made up of little microphones lined up across the front as a tribute to his impending speech. Valerie made her way up to him at the bar and he greeted her with his usual big toothy smile. “Chardonnay?” he asked tilting his head towards the bar which had an extensive array of wine. “I am in more of a Pinot Noir mood tonight” she responded and the bar tender who had been standing close by began to locate and pour her a glass. “I’m glad you made it. I know you hate these sorts of things but I think it will be good for you to get out and meet some industry professionals.” Josh was speaking loudly near her ear as the noise in the room was high with all the other voices joining together and amplified by drink before the conference. “Yeah, I couldn’t think up a fresh excuse the would be believable, so here I am” Valerie responded with a grin. Josh laughed as he scanned the room for anyone else he knew and could chat up. “Are you ready for your presentation?” she asked him wondering if he was nervous. Josh never seemed nervous. She envied his self-absurdness and how he carries himself. Valerie never had confidence growing up, it did not come naturally to her. But all of her self help books and taking care of herself over the last year or so has taken her a long way towards becoming more confident. Maybe someday she would feel comfortable in settings like these, meeting new people and maybe even giving her own presentations. “Oh, here we go – Hey! Jer! Over here! – you have to meet this guy; he is one of the best private investigators that we use at the firm. He is dead useful.” Valerie turned to look in the direction Josh was indicating and as she looked up to see who this amazing person was that she had to meet, her heart skipped a beat and a led weight plopped in the pit of her stomach simultaneously... she was staring straight at Jeremy Aster.

            Jeremy had heard someone call out his name from near the bar and he turned to see who was calling him. He saw Josh waving at him and motioning for him to come over. As he started to traverse the now very crowded room, his eyes fell to the woman on his right – and his heart skipped a beat. A head shorter than Josh, with flowing auburn hair that fell to her elbow and ivory skin, Valerie Kemp was staring straight back at him. She was wearing a black wrap dress that hugged her curves perfectly - narrowing her waist and accentuating her perfectly proportioned hips and bust making that classic hourglass shape. How many years had it been since he saw her? It must be more than four years now. He almost stopped walking in his shock at seeing her here but caught himself and continued over to the bar. In her eyes he could read the shock she also felt at seeing him. There was something else in her beautiful Hazel eyes as well – panic? Jeremy could tell from her look that she did not want to discuss their history tonight, not in front of Josh, not here where they had once shared a romantic weekend together. Although he had not laid eyes on her in over four years, he could still sense what she must thinking from her careful study of her face and body language, he was fluent in Valerie. He knew her as well has he knew his own thoughts and feelings. As he neared the pair, he made a decision that he would let her lead. He would allow the introduction to proceed as if she was a stranger to him, unless she gave him some signal otherwise.

            “This is Jeremy Aster,” Josh began as soon as Jeremy had made his way to them, “he is the best damn PI we have!” “Well, I won’t argue with that” Jeremy said with a small laugh and a warm smile, holding out his hand to shake hers. Valerie experienced a wave of heat and her heart hammered in her chest. Jeremy was every bit as handsome as she remembered him. Taller than her by at least a foot, he was broad shouldered and muscular from years of swimming and weight lifting. Even in January he looked tan and had a permanent stubble. Dark hair, chocolate brown eyes with flecks of gold, a slightly crooked nose being the only flaw on an otherwise perfect face. He looks so good. Why does he have to look so damn good? “Jeremy,” Josh continued, “This is Valerie Kemp. She is new to the firm but is already one of our best paralegals. I bet you two will get to know each other quite well over the years!” Valerie shook his hand firmly, maintaining eye contact. “Nice to meet you, Jeremy.” Valerie said with a voice that she hoped sounded upbeat. Please don’t do anything stupid she thought to herself as she simultaneously wondered if his lips were still as soft as she remembered. Stop thinking about his lips! He nearly crushed you. “Hi Valerie, good to meet you too.” Jeremy said, as he mentally noted how soft her hand was and how good she smelled. In that moment Jeremy was reminded of how long and how deeply he had missed her. Breaking up with Valerie was the biggest mistake of his life and he knew that he didn’t deserve a second chance, even if he was currently thinking of ways to try to talk to her alone. “I need to pee before I go on” Josh stated as if hearing Jeremy’s thoughts and he began moving away from the bar with a look of apology to Valerie. He knew she was going to be furious at him for leaving her with this guy she just met in a room full of strangers but it couldn’t be helped. Besides, she is a big girl. Time to make some professional contacts.

            For a few seconds after Josh’s departure there was an awkward silence between Valerie and Jeremy. There was so much they could say to each other. So many things that were left unsaid. “Pinot Noir?” Jeremy asked, looking at her half empty glass and already knowing the answer. It was the one red that Valerie liked or at least said she liked. He knew she didn’t really like wine and the thought made him smile. “Yeah, Pinot Noir.” She replied and was immediately reminded that Pinot Noir was the wine they had at their one-year anniversary dinner. It was the first time she had ever tried it and the only red she drank since. She had forgotten the history behind her preference. The memory made her a little sad. Then she felt angry at herself for feeling sad. How long had she spent crying over this asshole? How many nights had she spent wondering what was wrong with her that made him leave? She spent years building herself and her life back up and she finally was in a healthy space both physically and mentally. Now here she is, face to face with the man she had rehearsed speeches for, telling him to go to hell, standing right next to him and knowing that if he asked her to leave with him right now – she would do it. Her mind filled with the familiar thoughts of them together, the scent of him and a longing that made her wish she stayed home. Four and a half years later and he still has such a pull on her.

            Jeremy wanted to ask her to leave this conference with him, to go get dinner someplace they could talk. He wanted to explain to her that he was a stupid kid when he ended their relationship. He thought he wanted to explore himself and other people, get the full “college experience” unencumbered with a girlfriend. He thought marrying the only girlfriend he ever had was somehow robbing them both of some fundamental human experience. Four years, two lackluster relationships and countless one-night encounters later, he knows just how big a mistake he made letting Valerie go. He hoped she was happy but he also hoped that she wasn’t happy without him. He was ashamed of that thought. After what he did, she probably hated him.

            A few more seconds of a silence passed which while at first had been awkward, seemed to have melted into a comfortable and familiar companionship. “How do you like working with Josh?” Jeremy ventured. “He’s great” Valery said, then “I actually need to use the restroom too. I guess I’ll see you later?” Jeremy wasn’t surprised she was getting away from him. He didn’t blame her, “Yeah, see you in there.” He watched her as she walked towards the entrance where the restrooms were. It was as if no time had passed at all. She was so familiar to him. Looking at her gave him the strange feeling of being home. “Fuck this” Jeremy said out loud to the astonishment of a group of older women to his left as he reached into his pocket for his phone. He searched his contacts, found what he was looking for and composed a message.

            As Valerie entered the restroom stall, she felt her phone vibrate. She pulled the phone out of her bag and looked at the number so familiar to her that it could have been her own. The number that she didn’t block and couldn’t delete, even after all this time. The message made her smile –

                         You free for dinner tonight? Jeremy

She knew that he added his name at the end because he probably thought she had deleted his number. Even if she had, she knew it by heart. He knew that. He must be attempting to be unassuming.

                         Shoot, I am stuck at this work thing. Can’t. Val

He took the playfulness as encouragement.

                         How about tomorrow? J

Valerie felt a hot weight in her stomach. She was disgusted at how happy this made her. She was momentarily annoyed that he was assuming she wasn’t in a relationship. Maybe he just hoped. There was no point in pretending she was going to decline.

                         Sure, meet me at Bombay Bistro at 8.

Jeremy smiled. If she actually gave him a second chance, he was going to spend the rest of his like making up for the four and a half years they spent apart.