It actually wasn't as scary as most always think it to be, at least for me. It was painless, and I hardly even knew what happened. I knew that I’d certainly been trapped in a virtual reality game, and if I died there, I died in real life (a twisted but cliche scenario). This seemingly endless realm would be my burial grounds, the place where I died. What a monotone grave site….
As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but black, white, and green. The strange patterns of green had lights running down them, as if communicating messages down nerves. Soft shadows under us were the only discrepancies in the vast zone. This was the domain of the game master, who stood opposite from me. He controlled everything from this expanse.
I told him that I would sacrifice myself for my love, who laid unconscious beside me. He was pale as could be, his body motionless and lifeless. It was me or him; only one of us could return to reality. It was a horrid turn of events, but I hadn’t tried so hard to get here for nothing. I’d been working so hard for so long, to return my boyfriend, Null, to reality, and that’s what I was going to do.
It really did seem unreal, beyond comprehension, and there was no transition from life to death for me. One second, I was in the techno setting of the last stage of the game; the next, I woke up in front of the gates.
The Gates to Heaven.
I don't know how I knew what they were, how I knew where I was, but I did, and life on Earth was but a distant memory. I'd all but forgotten why I was even here, all the struggle I'd been through to arrive at this very moment. Pain and every other negative feeling I could possibly feel were gone without a trace. Even doubt and suspicion, which one would normally feel with clouds underneath their feet, were nonexistent. Feeling freer than ever, a grin spread on my face from ear to ear, and I was rushing through, eager to finally meet my Maker.
It was everything I'd always imagined all my life, only more. There were tons of people and animals alike amongst the fluffy clouds, and they were all enjoying each other's company. It seemed as though here, everyone could understand each other; it was almost as if our languages were combined into one. There really was no negativity here in any form; instead, the entire place seemed to fill with happiness and love.
The Lord Himself was indeed a gentle soul, and he patiently answered every question I'd ever thought of before escorting me to my family, which brought tears to my eyes and my hands to my lips. After so long, I was finally reuniting with them.... The accident that killed them seemed like an eternity ago. All that mattered now was that each of my family members was there, here in Heaven, where they belonged. They hadn't aged a day, I thought with a wry chuckle.
Throughout this exuberance, there was this bubbling in my chest that I could hardly contain, that after so long, after so much time spent in a world where I was the only one who believed in Him, I was finally right where I belonged....
I'd made it. I'd made it home.
It was while I was thinking that thought, as I went to embrace my family, that I remembered him, and the smile I had vanished, my feet stopping in their tracks.
He wasn't home yet. I'd chosen for him to stay behind. Had the game master returned him as he’d promised to do so, or…?
The Lord smiled kindly, all-knowing, and gestured to a mirror that reflected Earth, "He's safe, Tenshi. Don't worry."
Concern darkening my features, I hesitantly took a step towards the mirror. Its reflection zoomed in, from the Earth to America to our state and, finally, to my boyfriend. He was walking outside of a funeral home, I realized, my breath catching in my throat as anxiety flooded my eyes.
He'd be all alone, now.... How long would he live until he, too, would come home? I'd made that decision for him to be the one to return to reality, without even considering how he would feel about it.... I'd been selfish, head set on getting my boyfriend back to reality no matter the cost. He must be devastated…. He probably doesn’t even know what happened…. After all, he was unconscious when I made the final decision…. He’d woken up from that virtual reality nightmare to his lover being gone forever…. Without even knowing how or why, the responsibility of handling my funeral was thrown onto his shoulders.
But he was looking at something, I noticed with a start, and followed his gaze.
Inside of a car, a girl was talking to her mother and pointing to something. I followed her finger with my eyes just as Null did, and I gasped.
The Fingers of God…, those sun rays peeking out from the clouds, spraying light over you…, they mean He's watching over you, that He’s holding you.... I'd told that to Null numerous times, but did he remember...? More importantly, did he finally believe me?
The answer was revealed to be “yes,” for the first time in his life, as the fog of grief around Null faded instantly. A wary, shivering smile came to his lips as tears escaped his eyes, "You idiot... I guess you were right all along, huh…? With all that talk about the Lord and everything..."
Oh, Null... yes, so don’t worry; everything will be fine…. You, too, will arrive here, where everything negative is nothing but a distant memory. You just have to wait patiently for your time to come home. Right now though, you still have your little brother to care for.... In the meantime, I'll still be here, waiting for you... until the end of time, if I must.
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