32 comments

Drama Sad

This story contains sensitive content

This story contains themes or mentions of sexual violence, physical violence, and mental health problems.


A waterlogged breeze wisps through my ex-mother-in-law’s lace veil, which hangs over her mascara-streaked eyes, and bats away her tears for her. Beside her, my ex-father-in-law and ex-husband stare at me, their eyes accusing, silently conveying a message that says, “You know you're guilty. We know you killed your baby.” I look back down at the tiny coffin being placed into the ground, surrounded by my family. I forced myself to come to the funeral. I didn’t want to. I never would have come if my lawyer hadn't insisted. “It looks better if you go,” he said. “What mother wouldn’t attend their own child’s funeral?”


What about a mother who always longed to be one? Who yearned for a baby of her own every time she saw her nieces and nephews. A mother who met someone in a coffee shop, someone she would learn could be the perfect father. A mother and a father who dated for two years before the father proposed to the mother in front of her childhood home. A father and a mother who got married in a church under lilies, like the mother specifically requested, saying “I do,” not only to each other but to the life they would build together. A mother and a father who said, “Why don’t we take a year before we try to have a baby,” and proceeded to take a long vacation in Italy for their honeymoon. A mother and a father who spent an exuberant year together before finally agreeing, “Let’s give it a go,” only to wait another year and to take six pregnancy tests to find out the mother hadn’t gotten pregnant. A mother who made an appointment with a specialist to figure out why she couldn’t have children like everyone else. Like all the mothers she calls her patients that have babies at her hospital every day. A mother and a father who had to sit in a cushy room and get told that the mother might never be a mother as if the comfy chairs would make a difference. A father who supported a mother and told her they would keep trying, he wouldn’t give up on her. A mother and a father who took two more years trying to have a baby before starting to consider adoption. A mother and a father who filled out documents that told their stories, hoping another mother out there would entrust them with her baby. A mother and a father who waited a year with no call about another mother choosing them. A mother and a father who started to feel hopeless, but tried, nevertheless. 


But it wasn’t the same. The mother and the father began to fight. The father wanted children, the mother wanted children, the mother couldn’t get pregnant, she never asked for this. The father needed children, the mother needed a child, just one, any child would do, she said, even though she didn’t realize she didn’t mean it. A mother who walked out and went to a bar after a fight with a father and drank her sorrows away. A mother who got so drunk, a man at the bar who would never be a father walked her out to his car and placed her in the back seat. A mother who blacked out just after hearing the locks of a car door and when she came to, that mother didn’t want to be a mother anymore. A mother who woke up the next morning on the side of the road outside of a closed veterinary clinic, her makeup smeared, her self image smeared as well. A mother who was still dizzy and hungover who realized what had happened last night and covered her mouth to cover up her gasping sobs. A mother who went home and never told a father what had happened in a small apartment she can’t remember much of besides the odd paint color of the ceiling and a fuzzy face her brain refused to recall. A mother who took a long shower and cried as she tried to wash away all traces of what a man who wasn’t her husband did to her. A mother who now had to live with the fact that a man at a bar had taken her will to live, her will to love, her will to have a child. A man who would become the father of a child, but would never be that child’s father. He didn’t deserve to be. 


A mother who celebrated with a father about her finally being pregnant. The father and her crying, his tears of joy, hers of despair. A mother and a father who went through the pregnancy on the outside like a normal married couple would, but on the inside the mother struggled with depression. She had this gut feeling that she was carrying a baby that another man forced on her. She hadn’t gotten a test though, she couldn’t, she needed a tiny bit of hope to cling onto. Hope that her husband was possibly her baby's father. A mother who at eight months pregnant got a paternity test only to find out the father of her baby was just a man. A mother who worked all day for years helping other mothers give birth to their babies. A mother who couldn’t do life anymore. A mother who instead of sacrificing herself, sacrificed the man’s baby. It wasn’t her baby anymore. A mother who killed her baby at eight months pregnant, a mother who knew it was illegal and did it anyway. The father and her crying, his tears of despair, hers of joy. 


A mother and a father who got divorced while the mother was in a hospital bed. A father who listened to a doctor accuse the mother of taking medication to kill her own child who was still inside of her. A mother who could have waited a month according to a father, a mother knowing she couldn’t, not anymore. 


A woman released on bail set by her mother and father, stands across from a father. A woman who smiles through her tears, looks down at a tiny coffin and whispers, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be your mother.”


March 04, 2024 16:15

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32 comments

Alexis Araneta
18:25 Mar 04, 2024

Joseph, you came on to Reedsy with a bang. Phenomenal take. The flow of this is so impeccable. I was gripped. Creative way to reveal the twist. The repetition of "mother" and "father" was so effective and works in revealing the end. Great job ! I look forward to reading more from you.

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Joseph Mir
02:05 Mar 05, 2024

Thank you so much, this comment made my night!

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23:14 Mar 16, 2024

Hi Joseph, This story is heart-wrenching. I really enjoy the third person perspective that it employs and how the what-if scenarios represent what actually is and actually did happen to the narrator. This is a creative way of approaching this really dark narrative. Brilliant work!

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Joseph Mir
15:03 Apr 29, 2024

Thank you!

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01:57 Mar 14, 2024

Excellent story, and unexpected end which had already been revealed in the first line.

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Joseph Mir
13:12 Mar 14, 2024

Thank you for the feedback!

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Jason Basaraba
01:20 Mar 14, 2024

Well done, great pace throughout the entire piece. A little information given when needed. Wonderful entry

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Joseph Mir
13:12 Mar 14, 2024

Thank you!

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Ingrid Barclay
04:55 Mar 13, 2024

What an emotional roller coaster! I was absolutely riveted - well done!

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Joseph Mir
15:57 Mar 13, 2024

Thank You!

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Aly Jester
18:51 Mar 12, 2024

Well done. Thanks for sharing. I looked forward to reading more from you.

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Joseph Mir
15:57 Mar 13, 2024

Thank you, I appreciate it

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Trudy Jas
21:33 Mar 11, 2024

Welcome to Reedsy, Joseph. It's a good thing Reddsy is not about competion (yeah, right!). Otherwise I might as well go home. Great story. The repetion, the slow reveal. But most of all tackling suhc a sensitive topic, so well, on your first outing. thanks for sharing.

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Joseph Mir
15:27 Mar 12, 2024

Thank you so much!

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Hannah Lynn
02:02 Mar 11, 2024

The repetition of “a mother and a father” made this story more haunting than it already was. A tough read … well done!

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Joseph Mir
14:47 Mar 11, 2024

Thank you!

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01:28 Mar 11, 2024

As a mother of young kids, this hurt to read. Well done.

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Joseph Mir
15:58 Mar 13, 2024

Thank you, I tried to handle the topic to the best of my ability while also keeping the emotional touch.

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Wally Schmidt
18:32 Mar 10, 2024

This is such a powerful heartbreaking story, told in a unique style. Welcom to Reedsy Joseph. Looking forward to reading many more of your stories.

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Joseph Mir
19:48 Mar 10, 2024

Thank you Wally!

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Tom Skye
15:09 Mar 10, 2024

This was a riveting read and a great handling of a tough subject. It worked brilliantly as a slow reveal. The MC was morally ambiguous and it sounds like she did do something reprehensible, but the story allowed us to feel her inner turmoil and at least understand her side of it. Great work and welcome to Reedsy

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Joseph Mir
15:12 Mar 10, 2024

Thank you so much!

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L J
19:33 Mar 08, 2024

wow! Your first entry? The competition just climbed ! That was amazing, powerful and absolutely well written. No particular surprise ending but I Could feel how the mother felt. Keep writing! Even if you win all the contests! Thank you for taking the time to read mine!

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Joseph Mir
15:50 Mar 09, 2024

Thank you so much!

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Jack Kimball
15:54 Mar 05, 2024

Well done Joseph. The repetition of 'the mother' works really well. Pretty rough to kill a baby at eight months. The angst shines through. Welcome to Reedsy! Look forward to reading more of your submissions. Jack

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Joseph Mir
19:40 Mar 05, 2024

Thank you Jack!

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Ana M
18:49 Mar 04, 2024

A story told in an impressive way. Well done!

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Joseph Mir
02:06 Mar 05, 2024

Thank you Ana!

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Helen A Smith
17:49 Mar 04, 2024

Like Mary said - an interesting way to reveal the trauma. Well written and impactful.

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Joseph Mir
02:06 Mar 05, 2024

Thank you so much! I appreciate it!

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Mary Bendickson
17:26 Mar 04, 2024

Interesting way to reveal the trauma. Very dramatic. You are a talented writer. Thanks for the follow.

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Joseph Mir
02:06 Mar 05, 2024

Thank you! And of course! I love your stories!

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