Tabitha And The Enchanted Woods
Tabitha walked to Peter’s place. Peter was her friend, She had phoned him to let him know she was going to his house to have a chat, she decided to take a mindfulness walk and just go where her feet wanted to go. Tabitha was looking around her, she saw cars with the drivers and other people in their cars going past on the road. As she walked along she decided to take the street that went to a place she hadn’t been before. Tabitha saw the road ahead was long, so she decided she would walk along that long road, with wonder and eagerness to see what might be along the road. She walked for a bit and started to hear birds chirping, Tabitha followed the chirp of the birds which led her to some sort of Enchanted woods. She was amazed and at the same time thrilled to see where her path had taken her. The woods started to get darker and darker, she looked around her and couldn’t see anything, Tabitha became frightened and realised she was in the thick of the woods, she walked along carefully, looking around her, looking for a way out. Tabitha came across a bag that looked like it was full. She started to wonder what was in the bag, should she open it and look inside the bag. Tabitha thought what if the person who left the bag here was coming back to pick it up, Tabitha’s heart started to beat fast. She looked around for anyone who might be making their way to pick the bag up. She looked at the bag again and realised that it had been lying there for a long time by the age of the bag and the way it was positioned. Tabitha started to relax, then a thought came over her what if it had money in it. Should I have a look, she shook her head non non. I better not, Tabitha said, shaking her head again. She looked around to search for a way out but was dumbfounded and confused at the time, Tabitha realised she was stuck. I am stuck and I need a way out, She then heard the sound of a bird, it was a fantail chirping about her. What are you doing here Tabitha, where have you come from said Fantail. She looked at the bird and saw he had an orange breast, he was so charming as he strutted out his orange breast while chirping at the same time. Oh beautiful bird I am lost, Oh my darling Fantail you are so beautiful what shall I do to get out of this dark place. Look for the Light said Fantail Look for the Light. Thank you my darling Fantail you are truly beautiful. Tabitha started to look for the light, she remembered it was Morning when she left to go for her Mindfulness walk to see her friend Peter, she found a glitter of light and started to go towards the light and found her way out to a path that led to a trail. The trail was muddy, but it was not a long trial. Tabitha went along the trail and found herself on her way to her friend Peter's house. She got to Peter’s house and knocked on the door. A dog came to the front of the house from the backyard and barked at her. Tabitha then said It’s alright Queenie, it's me Tabitha. Queenie recognised Tabitha’s voice straight away and started to wag her tail wagging and licking Tabitha’s face. Okay Queenie Tabitha laughed where is Peter. Tabitha spoke to the dog like she was a human, they both got on really well and enjoyed each other's company when they met up with each other. A human and an animal who would've thought they were real good buddies when they saw each other. Peter came to the Front door and opened it. Hi Tabitha, I have been expecting you to come in. Hi Peter How’s things going, Alright and you said Peter. Well I got a bit lost on the way here. You’ve been here lots of times. What are you talking about? Peter made a coffee for him and a cup of tea for her, and pulled out some dark chocolate biscuits with some jam to put on the top of the biscuits, it was their new ideal treat they had come up with. Well I took a new path on the way and got lost in this enchanted woods for a bit was a real different experience, Peter asked What sort of an experience was it? Tabitha explained in detail her experience of the Enchanted woods and about the beautiful Fantail she had met. Yeah sure Tabitha, there’s no Enchanted Woods around here, this made Tabitha laugh as she guessed he would say something like that. I suppose you think I’m coo coo then. Well you sort of have a different way of putting things
sometimes said Peter. That's what makes me unique. Mr Peter Brightwell. I must be going now. I need to go and get some tea from the grocery store and a few other items. Bye then Tabitha said Peter I would love to have you come around another time for a natter and tea. Bye Peter see you next time said Tabitha. Tabitha went to the grocery store and bought some chamomile tea and other items. She had taken one of her shopping bags with her so she could put all the items she had brought in it. She walked home and decided to walk through the park. She usually walked through the park, it had an alley way from home to catch the train and bus to her volunteer work in the big city. As Tabitha looked around her and at the park she knew . She had helped out with some of the funding towards putting fruit trees along the back fence and watching them grow, there had been a new table and benches built and a new slide, plus a flying fox which she would try out one day. Tabitha was so happy that she started to smile and feel a sense of relief from her journey. She Remembered her work with the school she did in helping out with one of the projects they had going, it was so cool. Tabitha started to walk home looking at all things around her and how renewing and refreshed they looked, even people who looked glum Tabitha was able to say with a smile on her face Hello. She had a purpose in life and that purpose was a secret only she would know and keep until it was completed then her secret would be revealed. Tabitha arrived home and decided to have a cup of chamomile tea when she got inside, she made her cup of tea and her ideal treat, put on some relaxing music, put her feet up and started reflecting on her day. Tabitha smiled when she remembered the Fantail she had met in the Enchanted woods, she thought no one would believe me anyway they all think I’m coo coo anyway. Lol.
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Great story! quite obviously for younger audiences, if that was the intent. As Lois said, There are places where there should be periods rather than commas, and a lack of quotations. It is an otherwise fun story!! Keep writing, you'll find yourself to get better at these things as you go. :)
Hey Adrie, Thank you for the tips
I assume your story is for younger people. There are places you probably should use periods rather than commas. Also watch your point of view. At first the story is being told from your point of view and mid-woods you are writing from Tabitha’ POV. Also watch repeated word usage; the bag this, the bag that, the bag then, the bag there. Don’t forget about quotation when people speak. You are on the right track. Fun story, keep at it.
Hey Lois Thank you for your comment and advice much appreciated.