3 comments

Suspense Fiction Horror

The road was absent of all life aside from her own. It had been as such for going on half an hour now, and, though she had her thumb stuck out in a bid to hitchhike, she was hardly looking at the road, instead taking in her surroundings again. The road she was on was cracked, and the yellow divider line was faded, and along the edges where the asphalt stopped and became gravel and dirt, there was a noticeable dip that led lower, if only slightly, onto the edge of the forest behind her. Her eyes could not adjust to the level of darkness in those woods, with its endless pines on either side jut out like great and ancient arrowhead into a night sky littered in a careless fashion with a million pinpoints of starlight.

The moon was swollen huge and provided the only middling light she could use to see anything at all, such as her car, it’s engine spewing black smoke from under the propped up hood. She sighs audibly but voices no complaints for the simple fact that there was no one there to voice them too. She looks around once more into the draping blackness around her and she can feel herself shake. The night is not cold. She rubs her hands over her arms for a moment and then returns her hand back to its previous position; thumb straight up, for no one too see.

Lights break through the dark on her left side, and, with a full bodied twitch, she breaks from her hitchhiking position and begins flailing her arms over her head with manic fervour, calling out “Hello! Hello!” as the car - and she could see it was a car now - made its approach.

The car does not pull to the side, instead slowing to a crawl as the driver doubtlessly sees the pale shape jumping about in front of them. She stops as it does, and, for a moment that feels long in the vehicles headlights, she is able to take it in. It’s a Toyota Corolla, completely black except for its high beams blazing into her eyes, forcing her to shield them. The distinctive hollow thunk of a car door being opened draws her eye.

You alright?” The voice of The Man is sharp and deep, and there is a quality to that tone that makes her hesitate for a moment before responding. “Hi, sorry about this, but my cars’ broken down and… I didn’t know who to call.” The last portion is tacked on quickly, and spoken just as. She can feel herself cringing physically in the aftermath, as The Man approaches her, with his shoes clicking loud against the road, she can take him in fully now, and the sight makes her take a step back. He is dressed as if a child has chosen his clothing, a pair of camouflage cargo shorts that go only to the midway of his thighs clash harshly with a burgundy sweater, which hangs loose and long and has a threaded white outline of a grizzly bear above the words ‘California Roaming.’ His face is covered in long shadows cast by his headlights, but she can see he wears no beard and his blonde hair hangs loose enough that he has to brush it out of his eyes, which are pale blue pinpricks nestled into deep set sockets.

“Take it easy Miss.” He says. “I’m no danger to anyone.” He has stopped his approach, leaving the two standing with a headlight shining on each. She looks at him again, and she sees at once that he is much taller then her, taller than his own car, the hood of which comes up to his knees. He is thin and wiry as well, and he is standing with his feet set as wide as his shoulders, which are sloped forward along with his neck and head, creating a hunched appearance that resembles more closely the coil of a snake than any samaritan she has met before.

He’s staring at her, his head is hung forward but he is still staring at her from the tops of his eyes.

“Let me take a look at that engine of yours.” He says, his voice taking on a softer enunciation than just seconds before. She takes another step back, and he takes one forward. “Wait.” She blurts out suddenly, raising her hands up toward him, bending them up from her downturned arms and facing the palms out. “Let me go wake up my boyfriend first.”

“Why?”

“He might get freaked out if he doesn’t get a warning.” She’s already sidestepping to her car as she explains. “It’s just how he is, y’know?”

“Why isn’t he looking at the car then?” He takes another step toward her, and she can see clearly now that he is wearing black dress shoes. “He did.” She says. “Earlier, he did. He couldn’t get it working so we’ve just been taking turns looking out for people.” She clenches her hands into fists.

Her keys are in her car still. She hazards a brief look back and sees the drivers side is wide open. When she looks back, The Man is still there, and he is much closer now. Close enough she can now detect, with great excess, a pungent oder wafting from him. He seems to be bleeding from under his hair, the lines of blood drying and streaking down along his temples and another one over the bridge of his nose. She can see that his scalp as well seems to be damaged somehow, as it looks as loose as his sweater.

Why haven’t you tried your cellphone?”

“I… I didn’t think too.”

“I can tell you for a fact there’s no service up here anyway.” His face breaks into a wide showing of yellowed teeth. His eyes have not changed. “What’s your name.”

She’s taken many more steps backward now, leaning back from him He has not followed further from the confines of the headlights glow. “My name… My name is Donna, my boyfriends name is Mark.”

“Funny coincidence, my names Mark too.” He lets out a high, lifting chuckle. “I know another guy named Mark too, he’s in my car and he’s sleeping too.”

“Really?” She says, not moving anymore, not even looking to the open car door in which sits nothing but a pair of keys stuck in the ignition. “That’s a weird coincidence. Funny how that sort of things works out, right?” She tries to add a laugh of her own but finds it impossible. She can feel him appraising her, taking in her compacted body language and white knuckled clenching of her fists.

“Yeah, it’s real funny.” He chuckles again, and takes another step forward.

September 16, 2023 00:53

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

3 comments

14:17 Sep 25, 2023

Yikes...this won't end well methinks!! Run Donna!!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
E. B. Bullet
03:31 Sep 25, 2023

Oh, is that where it ends???

Reply

Cade Holter
18:38 Sep 25, 2023

Yeah. I’m not sure where I should’ve taken it.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.