Our Story's in the Sky

Submitted into Contest #143 in response to: Write about a character who loves cloud gazing. ... view prompt

18 comments

Romance Teens & Young Adult

I've always loved gazing at the clouds. The shapes seem to hold possibility, however you can choose to recognize them as something specific. Today they remind me of you. Our love. Our journey. Our story's in the sky.


A flower.


I see a rose, a white rose. Our first date, I told you I hated red roses. I also said that I loved a flower with the colour white. Our second date you showed up with a single white rose for me. Then every other time you bought me flowers it was a single white rose, our tradition. After the flower died, I took one of the petals and placed it in a jar on my desk at work. Then I would always have pieces of you with me, mixed with our history.


A unicorn.


You believed anything was possible, and I told you I'd do the same. "Just because you haven't seen something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist." I repeated that phrase to everybody from then on. We spent hours creating fantasies and imagining. You were the first person I went cloud gazing with. Then stargazing at night, too. I swear I saw this same shape the first time we did this together.


Is it just me or is the sky really beautiful today? A pretty shade of bright blue, clouds practically glowing white. I lay on the green grass speckled with dandelions. Your presence is still here with me. You will never be gone to me, there will always be a piece of you in my heart.


A heart.


Representing our life. Revolving around our marriage, revolving around each other. Representing our love. So strong, until it was broken.


Pieces of glass.


At least that's what I think I see. Shattered. Representing our love in a different way. Broken. We're falling apart, we already have.


A window.


A window of hope, maybe? A window to fix ourselves, make everything right? I'm not over you yet. I still look at my jar of petals everyday. In fact, my original jar had turned into a bigger jar, which had turned into two jars, which had turned into 5 glass jars full of white rose petals to keep my memory of you alive.


A Knife.


Because God had other plans for us. Ruining our old ones. A life together would not be possible. Our fading love was only a minor issue until you brought it up. It was over. Not a week after I'd moved out, I heard news of your death that nearly tore me apart. As though with a real knife, I felt I was being stabbed. The pain and grief haunted me for days, it still does. I then realized that I wasn't over you yet.


A bird.


Its wings spread out wide. Flying, perhaps? It sure looks that way in the sky. This cloud represents me. I fly on my own now, without you.


Rain begins to sprinkle down on me. Maybe there will be a rainbow. A sign that you're up there, waiting for me. Waiting for our love to return. Waiting for us to be happy again. Our story's in the sky, dear. Our story's in the sky.

April 27, 2022 01:00

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18 comments

11:12 Apr 27, 2022

I'd just like to say, this marks my 20th story on here. From now on, you might see different themes from me or better written pieces. I'm trying to put a lot more effort in to help develop some of my best work.

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I wrote some new stories, Vigil and Nomenclature.

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11:41 May 09, 2022

Okay - I'll try to check them out!

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Absolutely beautiful, Kate! Great job! I've seen that you've been writing a lot of stories lately. Keep going!

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11:41 May 09, 2022

Thank you!

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Thomas Auen
10:29 May 06, 2022

Kate, I loved this piece. As previous comments suggest, there is something special about walking this tale from love’s beginning to its ending. Similarly, we watch clouds begin to take shape, become pronounced and prominent in a particular way, then eventually move on and change…flying away like the bird you use as a descriptive feature toward the work’s end. Keep striving, and I look forward to reading more of your works in the future! Cheers, Thomas

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10:34 May 06, 2022

Dear Thomas, Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate your kinds words and your enjoyment of my story. Thank you again and have a great day. Sincerely, Kate

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Holly Guy
10:57 May 05, 2022

Beautiful structure, really lovely work! I look forward to reading more from you !

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11:19 May 05, 2022

Thanks so much! Your kind words are much appreciated.

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Laura Eliz
22:21 May 04, 2022

I really enjoyed reading this. I really like the use of the cloud shapes in the telling of the love story, and the end of the love story.

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00:35 May 05, 2022

Thank you!

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Polaris Bloom
17:51 Apr 28, 2022

It was so calming, I felt so good after reading it.

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17:53 Apr 28, 2022

Thank you!

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Spruce Popsicle
18:00 Apr 27, 2022

This is really amazing. I love how you structured this. It’s very clever. You created a whole story and character arc out of a single moment; a few clouds. Great job.

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00:08 Apr 28, 2022

Thank you!

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Howard Halsall
15:15 Apr 27, 2022

Hello Kate, I loved everything about this story from the structure and imagery through to the emotional energy and subtle conclusion. The whole concept was full of delights and I hope it gets the recognition it deserves. Well done. I look forward to reading your next submission. HH

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15:20 Apr 27, 2022

Thank you! Your opinion is much appreciated.

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Howard Halsall
15:23 Apr 27, 2022

Good luck and take care :)

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