Preface: Tabby wandering upon mine twinkle toes (woozy after drinking excess Boozie), this stray wrist took cat attired with trademark funereal black swallowtails quietly saunters (on faux paws) with somber self importance. Yours truly relegated Topeka outlook around outer limits of Katmandu, especially smug with knowledge that paganistic superstitions still maintain tide score in tandem with rubric (and mortar) accepted organized religion. This nearly twenty Earth orbitz within demarcated (Gregorian calendar) twenty first century after cat haz trophy (freshly killed field mouse, and concomitant son of Mickey and Minnie) got sacrificed so other mice can be absolved of their mouse lee predilections to house themselves within cozy domiciles chock oh lot full of favorite trickling treats every October thirty first.
An (A-Rod duck) reel genuine exclamation unwittingly provided this ah Vidal sass soon ounce mint to bootlick, jumpstart, kickstart, et cetera this essay, unbeknownst to fee yawn nah app pulling musician, who midwifed The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and, Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do. The immutable pseudo outlaw herewith crafted by this modest mwm became revelation at thine married middle age. Thumb me handily muddle mind, that and other sun dry bleached fish bone factors inadvertently helped me side step quicksand (whores than parent) trap ubiquitous nowadays online and expound following sentences. Trawling within what used to be edified, storied, and unsullied global, spatial, palatial seas (back in the day of early manhood), now finds me keenly on lookout for suspicious Tippy (or not tubby) scruffy, pesky, mangy... cats in their ninth life. Retractable claws tease hook, line, and sinker (arrestingly, blithely, and innocently) bobbing nsync with sound wavs tempting this master baiter. He doth surf with extra precautionary safety, i.e. ramping up that first league hull mantra. Safety foremost within murky virtual seas teem with all manner of chicanery, legerdemain, skulduggery putting boatswain's bookmarked, dogeared, thumbed, and weatherbeaten logged manual under non binding obligations. His thick journal
(regarded on par with Bible) saved many doubting Tom cruiser from financial ruin. Combinations and permutations scribbled in clawed, codified, crabbed footnotes documented Oculus Rift envisioned tidal webbed whirled wide wav files, where virtual water borne row bots, analogous to drone driven landmines put thru gallimaufry gamut of crash test dummy paces. They turned catsup (Heinz to dog), and begat alarming crisis demanding extreme caution against becoming bundled, manned, and snagged regarding black barb ma duke innocuous pointed contrivances within deadly dragnet nsync with other unsuspecting buoys and gulls. This where disguise donned by generic gals and guys (guilelessly, shamefacedly, and unapologetically) steal rainy day without a waterproof portfolio. Oft times an individual unable to resist harbored call of internet faux wild, welcomed, watery expanse found her/himself nonchalantly moseying lazily along.
Amidst idling with nary care in the world – peremptory stock, viz bounteous kit and caboodle for repast. NON GMO flute tin gree nutritious drinks and snacks plus over counter anti vertiginous medication checked off on bucket list. As journey carried, ferried, and insulated some solitary sommelier, an awareness arose asper unseen predators hiding (well actually invisible) in hopes to ensnare an adventurer as the general unnamed person averred. Double vision apropos of foreigner, would be mandatory as this atypical, cerebral, and ephemeral survivor could validate. Yes, many an astute brute didst execute (flaunt disbelief) ensuring failure, thence resulting in hopeless intractable madness as staff scandal hellish price to pay. Electronic spewing forth pleasing, sexting, venerating, et cetera engendered vibrant evident feedback loop, where only stoutest ironside, hardened, germane, frozen constitution reinforced with sturm un drang could deflect such incessant adulation, codification, flirtation...One may as well believe he/she could fly to the dark side of the moon, delve into the center of Earth, or cope with the outcome of a thermonuclear war. Appeasement doting, gussying homeliness, and kickstarting lip-smacking mannerisms proved impossible to ignore, no matter gender gap on receiving end of this flirtatious gambit. Most every occasion disallowed ability to acquire visual impression of this temptress, albeit heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, et cetera, thus buzzfeed ding imagination of this voyager 10,000 leagues under vernacular jewel. Momentarily perplexed at obscurity from whence this voice or aqua messaged texted. Oh...dear reader pardon slight omission of this paraphernalia so common now the need to inform thee slipped my mind. The usual gist of whence such communique cast toward lollygagging, self mollycoddling, and nursing good n plenti of quintessential romantic sobriquets, constituted telecommunications laced with positive comments allowing, enabling and proving figurative stage to launch plea for assistance. Some catty cockamamie story concocted (they tally dime a dozen, without nickelback, dollar dilate), cosseted cow worse sieve measure, et cetera or other prefabricated helplessly holding spellbound trance upon recipient. Underlying utterance (despite lack of nonverbal communication) invariably zeroed in on necessity for money. An airtight alibi usually got presented life and/or death crisis warranted such and such amount of money to alleviate harrowing, ill-fated, and jaundiced knockdown circumstance. No family member, nor close friend available. That fact alone ought to be purr heck giveaway that something rotten this way smells. Perhaps a rat in Philadelphia. Thus beware thee dame or fellow unfamiliar with crossing her/himself while wearing checkered Harris tweed. Blessing never to be seen paths with purported woman or man, but claimant in question could be some synthesized, robotized, quark que pine, et cetera. Money (manna lubricates joists of civilization) will be coyly, flagrantly, insistently asked to be sent via divulgence of credit/debit card. If some name does get told, (which would most likely be fictitious – and many occasions such contrived namesakes utterly ridiculously outlandish), the locale will be far from madding crowd. HENCE: BEWARE ENGENUES DAS GUISE ZED LOW LEE TA PLANE JANE'S ADDICTION (or visa versa qua) - AS BEASTIE BOY GULLS, which spells DEVILISH DAMN EYES OF EMINENCE GRISE. FAKE DUPE SUPER DUPER RUSE DOTH SERVE AS SUBTERFUGE AS STEALTH ROBBER.
Now, watch out for Nigrum Cattus!
Among muscular troopers of musculus species ranking unwanted occupant at best, I ushered (with baby swiss holy war from Aragon), the battle cry from my tiny chest. Unsheathe scabbards while we theoretically string Armenian armor to enter as pestilential guest trying to keep quiet as mice, yet feeling flush with Barry's Bay Cheddar and rodent jest to buoy esprit de' corps and promise all Brie. Traitorous rats wish us creamed as well our contaminated nest from dang owners. They find our company contemptuous as designated pest. No matter, forsooth we wage to conquer from Malvern Heights the quest to steal away hefty blocks of Monterrey Jack before we take rest. The morrow will finds us bound for another Munster test, which forays delicacies with curdled zest.
The aforementioned cheesy rallying cry constitutes one of various everyday drills practiced, rehearsed, trained... to keep us mice on all faux pas. Among ostentatious, supercilious, vainglorious... characteristics prized to elude black cat, I especially advocate humor linkedin with strategy to outsmart our nemesis. Believe me you, a webbed wide world series of repeated déjà vu unfortunate concatenated meow me events chanced to occur.
These eerie dectet number, viz nearly identical circumstances occurred, while still freshly primed with daily uber inculcation. Henceforth optimal, purr fect, quintessential... condition prevailed to maximize and lyft uber esprit de corps. A feline or perchance her/his inky furred catty siblings repeatedly (actually ten times as averred, which number represents good luck among our most feared predator) crossed my path. Though sufficiently distant to avoid harm upon body electric of yours truly, (albeit particularly personal loss of life and/or limb), a sinister stygian shadow descended analogous to sudden onset of midnight.
Rock-ribbed Trojan arrogance, haughtiness, pomposity... braced me with indubitable, indomitable, indefatigable... qualities as an everyday run on the treadmill modest (ha) mighty mouse. I attribute salutary steely fortitude with lifetime ingrained believing Holy Gouda i.e. revered Mousalini most loathsome, fearsome, awesome... brazen autocrat. No matter outmatched in size with garden variety generic average Tom, Dick and Harry innocent kitty creature, rigorous steeply taught principles reading about (ho...ho...ho) jolly sanity claws imbued me with unbridled courage in the face of extreme adversity. That plus diet of worms squirming, slithering, schmoozing... among mock apple pie getup (Geico commercial) Gethsemane facade did proffer charade to buzzfeed this minuscule creature
communicating his modality of survival.
Contrary to above mentioned abbreviated popular Mycenaean (think mice sin neigh yon) teaching, an exception to boffo coda, dogma, gotta get get out the black eyed peas ease hot tommy way at approach as purrs, sun huff hook Cajun whose buffalo winged mortal enemy spelled C-A-T heavily lion eyes prevailed. Rather interesting, ironic how exception to rule applied to our beloved Sage. A former Blue Russian Felis catus, whose ninth life got sadly expended, viz diseases susceptible purebred species succumb, yet many meows before his vulnerable demise, he got accorded royal privileges such as receiving hand fed delicacies from hand of my late mother, whose soft heart for cats in general benefitted her favorite petsmart. Said tuft of soft wooly fur insinuated himself into even the most obdurate loathsome inhumane fogie cross at the entire world wide web, though plaintive mews wrought change asper case in point Sage. His hunter standing, gentle, friendly endearing demeanor converted nasty shortish Brutus, Attila, or Genghis Khan into tender loving beastie boys, which foo fighters would be loathe to recognize how puss n boots reappeared ten times. The Five Chinese Brothers of childhood bedtime fame helped salvage attempt at cogency, fluidity, integrity... and offered tender vittle snacks packed with magic powers, one of which includes the ability to duplicate oneself multiple times as if the subject in question seen in physical form across span of time and/or producing similar facsimile thereof.