Intuitions

" Jason, please c’mon. The police might come and we should hurry outta here. You fucked him up enough.” Sarah’s pleas did nothing to me as I kept punching the fucker. He looked almost as if he was gonna lose consciousness. Good, I thought. " JASON!” Sarah yelled. I stopped and looked behind me where Sarah was standing clutching our bags. I sighed and got off the ass and kicked him in the ribs hard. He grunted even louder clutching his abdomen, where I’ve been punching him for a while. I walked over to Sarah and took my bag. She scurried ahead and I took my time. I knew the police weren’t coming but even if they did, I didn’t give two fucks. We left the dead alleyway and entered the crowd in Two Points Street. We blended in right away. It was at 11 pm and the streets were still filled with people. People who didn’t give a shit about the two messed-up teenage kids walking the streets. Actually one messed up kid. Sarah was just a sidekick who was a pussy. At least she is useful when she is bending down. Oh and shouldn’t forget that sassy ass of a mouth she got on her. I look at her ass and I chuckle at the thought. That girl has been blessed with what most girls beg for and god damn those tits of hers. Sarah looks back at me and glares at me. Nothing new babe, I think and I’m pretty sure she knows what I’m thinking by my grin and hungry stare. She turns back around and speeds up her walk. I still take my time with my walk and Sarah who by now is far ahead stops and shoots me an exasperated look. I grin. I speed up my walk and once I’m closer to her she starts walking again. " I can’t believe your smiling like your poppa just handed you his keys to his car” Sarah begins. I look at her and grin again. " Baby, there is more thrilling shit than driving a 1978 car that looks shit and drives like shit. For example, bending you over and smacking that fat ass of yours for stopping me beating that piece of shit to death” I reply. " Speaking of beating up a certain piece of shit,…” Sarah looks at me, " you need to stop seeking for fights. I get that at home is fucked up but, Jason, stop, okay. Like seriously stop. I’m sick and tired of you and your anger issues. I don’t know what changed but since last year you became a fucking ruthless monster. I miss my best friend who was able to have self-control. The one that smiled at the thought of a new year. A new start. The one who was constantly happy no matter what shit occurred.” She looks breathless by the time she stops talking. We reached her street but mine was a block away. " You know, for a pretty girl, you don’t know how to shut the fuck up. It’s none of your business of what happened to me. I told you that people change, and I am one of those that changed. And…” I can see that she is trying to act like my words didn’t get to her through my peripherals. I almost feel bad that I’m talking shit. I said almost. I get that she is concerned for me but she would hate me if I ever told her the truth. And honestly, I don’t need another important person like my best friend hating me. I continue, " this shit about my home is nothing. Parents decided that they hate each other guts and separated. It was a shock, yes I’ll admit but I hated my dad’s fucking guts too so it wasn’t a problem him leaving.” I repeat the fucked up story I made up, bile crawling up my throat. My thoughts go back to the night where I fucked up and beat my father to death. I had trusted my intuitions thinking that my own father who loved me and would take a bullet for me, was the bad guy. The image of his blank eyes staring right back at mine found its way through my head. Lump in my throat, I see that Sarah is looking at me like I’ve gone insane. I probably did. " bullshit!” She yells. I look back at her confused. The story worked when I told her the first time. “Jason if you tell me that shit one more time I swear to god I’m gonna kill myself. I know shit happened the day you went to juvie. I know there is more to the story than you’re letting on. I know that your mom has started drinking. Your father has disappeared and I literally saw him the day before he miraculously disappeared. But you know what I don’t know. Why you try so hard to keep it a secret? Why you won’t tell me? But since you decided to keep it a secret that it’s so hard to tell your best friend then you can go fuck off. I don’t care if you lose your shit or if some low-ass crackhead pisses you off and you get yourself into trouble again and again. I’m done with putting up with your shit. I’M DONE.” Then she storms off and in a distance, I hear a door slam shut. I continue walking back to my quiet house. Sarah has it worse than me. She lost both her parents when she was just nine and was sent to an orphanage where she was adopted a few weeks after. Her foster parents are ass, especially her foster father. He’s an alcoholic. Her foster mother never talks to her and just ignores her. I don’t even know why they bothered adopting if they were gonna be like that. Once I can see my house within my sight, I check for mom’s car but it’s not there as usual. I sigh and head toward the house. Closing the door behind me, I head upstairs to my room. I drop my bag near the doorway next to my desk. Closing my door, I slip off my shirt. Trudging towards the bathroom I turn on the light. Splashing water on my face helps. I look up at myself in the mirror and find my lip split open. I had a slight bruise forming across my jawline where the cocksucker must’ve punched me. Ever since dad, I don’t trust myself with my instincts and have gotten into random fights over the year. Truth is, I’m scared. I’m scared of messing up again. I’m scared of losing my best friend forever. I don’t know what tonight has been about but I only hope she forgets about it and leaves it alone. Who are you kidding asswipe? Sarah has every reason to be mad at you. Sometimes I think my head has a mind of its own. But I know it’ll take a fucking miracle to convince Sarah. Shaking my head I go back to the room and slip under the covers. I haven’t realized how exhausted I am as soon as I hit the pillow. Sleep takes over me.

………

‘I keep hitting him and ignore his protests, his pleas, his voice overall is pissing me all over again. I add strength into my punches and I keep going. The Brewmeister is making my head, even more, fuzzier than it already is. Someone grabs hold of my shoulder tries to lift me off this needledick who tried attacking my mother. Screams suddenly fill the room……huh? Suddenly, my head just clears and I see who I’m sitting on top of. My father’s blank green eyes are staring right back at me…’ Screams fill the room this time for real and I jump up. My throat is raspy and I realized it was my screams filling the room. I drag a hand down my face and take deep breaths. I’m breathing heavily as if I ran a marathon. The nightmare found its way to me again and honestly, I’m considering taking sleeping pills. I’ve been reliving that horror every night since that night. I’m so sleep-deprived that even a blind person would notice the bags under my eyes. I look over at the clock sitting on my table and it reads, 4: 03 am. I sigh. There is no way I can go back to sleep now. I head to the bathroom and once I’m finished taking care of my business, I splash water over my face. I look at the mirror and seeing the water trailing down my face gives me the strangest sensation. It’s so strong that I start panicking. All of a sudden it hits me. This was the same sensation that drove me to kill my father. Nope, Nope. Nada. Uh uh. No thanks. Zilch. I vowed to myself to never trust my intuitions ever, and I’m very consistent in keeping my word. Ignoring it, I head downstairs to get something to eat. Then I remember Sarah and wonder if I should call her. Pouring the cereal into a bowl and getting the milk out of the fridge, I pour the milk over my cereal. Eating while standing up I have the same thought again. Ah, fuck it. I’mma call her. I run back upstairs to grab my phone from my bag where I left it earlier. Slipping it out of the bag, the sudden light makes me squint. I go over to Sarah’s contacts and press call. It leads to an immediate voicemail. I frown and take the phone from my ear and look at it. Pressing call again, I wait. Again, an immediate voicemail. I don’t remember seeing Sarah turn off her phone. The feeling comes again. Much stronger. I still, as I remember what happened that night again. Oh god, should I…. Fuck it. Throwing on a shirt and proper jeans and shoes, I head out the front door. The cold suddenly bites my skin but I’m so worried and confused by the intuition and Sarah not answering her phone, I ignore it. Taking off, I run until I reach her street. Taking a quick left, I spot her house in the far end. Not because I know which house is hers because almost all the houses in the neighborhood look alike in the dark, but because it’s the only house that has its lights on in the dark, and I keep running to it. Out of breath, I reach the front porch and notice that her foster father's car is home. I dash up the stairs and am about to knock on the door when I notice the curtains in the front window facing the streets lift a little. I see a woman who seems to be looking around her early 40’s with tears trailing down her cheeks. Her cheeks flushed and in the slight light I make out a bruise forming in her eye. Wide-eyed, I take a step back when I realize she is mouthing words to me. She looks behind her and quickly looks back at me and frantically seems to be moving her mouth. Suddenly I make out what she is saying and it’s “help us”. By us, I figure out she means her and Sarah. climbing back down the stairs on the porch, I hide behind the untamed bushes near the house and dial 911. I explain that there is an abuser in a house and the ladies living with him are in distress and to please hurry. Praying I’m right, the officer on the other end assures me that nearby police will be there in a few minutes and asks me the address. I declare the numbers I can see and tattle out the street. Assuring me again, he hangs up. Quickly I stand up and quickly check the front door and unfortunately it’s locked. I go back around the house and jump over the low fence to check if the back door is opened. It opens after a few jiggles, and I inwardly do a happy dance. Rushing in, I squint by the sudden light and I look around. I hear a glass shattering and a male roaring. Breaking into a run I follow the noise and it leads to the basement. Running down the steps it creaks under my chucks. I enter a smell-fouled room and cringe. A few feet away is a bulky guy who could be easily be known as a thug. Then I see Sarah sprawled across the hard cement floor, blood streaming down her temple There is another cut down her hips and I realize then she isn’t wearing anything except a flimsy black camisole that’s ripped down the middle. Blood is pooled all over the floor as well. Jaws clenching, I see red. Taking the nearest weapon, which in this case is a tall lamp with bulging out sides. I smash it on this bald-headed motherfucker. Sarah sees me first and Scrambles outta the way before this sagging tits fucker falls on top of her. Once he is down I get on top of him just as I hear the sirens from outside. Good, they’re close. I get in a punch and another across his tattooed face. Suddenly I see my vision go hazy and realized he punched me as well. He gets another punch on my head before throwing me off as if I way nothing and trust me I weigh a ton. These muscles make up for the fat this dude got on him. I’m assuming the alcohol caused his sagging belly. I stand up quickly and shake my head and look back at the dick who also stands up. I realize he is drunker than I thought and take that to my advantage. Picking up another lamp nearby I run towards him. He narrows his eyes, trying to clear his vision. I plow the lamp into his head and this time I dive forward as well taking him down with me. He tries to get a hit but I’m faster. I hit him a couple hard punches in the head and go for his stomach. The son of a bitch looks like he is about to faint and just I’m about to land one more punch, I hear the thuds of heavy boots coming down the stairs. Landing the punch, the dickhead loses consciousness, which I assume is by the heavy drinking he been doin’. I get off him and look around for Sarah who is leaning in the far end kneeling beside a body that looks very much like the lady who asked for help. I turn around as I see two officers coming towards me. “Okay I think we can handle it from here, kid,” says the officer who’s fatter. The skinny one doesn’t say anything as I go over to Sarah. Seeing a large heavy blanket across a very much trashed couch in the corner I trudge towards it. Dusting off the blanket, I carry it over to where the woman who by now I guessed was Sarah’s foster mother and Sarah are. " Hey,” I say softly. Sarah looks up and then looks down at the blanket I’m holding. Her lips tremble and I sit down on the hard floor. Wrapping them both with the blanket, I hug Sarah sideways as I watch the two officers talk with each other in low murmurs. “Thanks. I thought he was gonna go full blow out on us today but you came just on time.” Sarah says. " What happened with her?” I ask, nodding towards her mother. " Dean threw her across the room when he saw that she ran upstairs to escape him. Followed her and brought her back with her hanging off his shoulders and threw her. I was already screwed so if I went to her he would’ve not hesitated and raped me. He was just about to do so anyway when you came in.” She sighs and lays her head against my shoulder. Heart thumping even louder I hold her tighter to me. Her small frame fitting into mine just perfectly. “I have a question.” Sarah lifts her just slightly to look up in my eyes. Her steel-like eyes swirling in confusion. “How did you know? Like how did know we were in danger?” I chuckle. “I trusted my intuition” is all I said.