Asking My Pendulum for Help 1885 words

Kimberly suffered from anxiety and panic attacks a lo when younger. These days its every now and then. Usually some event will trigger the fears.

She was easily frightened for as long as she can remember. Her mom was always warning her as a child. “you better be careful when you walk to Margie's house. Don't talk to strangers! If you do, you could get kidnapped and murdered and other terrible things.”

If they went out and got back after dark her mom always scanned around the house for a person that could jump out and harm them. She learned fear from an early age.

Initially it was the seeds her mom planted. Later of her own took over. Probably from the TV shows she watched.

There was a time she felt fearless, it was when she was young she and her Dad would always take walks out side in a storm. He was like a little kid when they ventured out in the rough weather. He would ask her “do you feel the wind trying to blow you over? Plant your feet and lean into the wind.” as the winds whistled blowing by them. “Here comes the rain Kim, you needed a shower anyway,” he teased” He taught her to embrace the stormy weather.

On a camping trip when she was 11 yo she had a near drowning experience in the ocean and since then was afraid to go in the water if it went a few inches higher then her ankles. Over the years other fears developed.

So when the news reports started broadcasting about hurricane Destiny approaching, she could feel her anxiety level increasing. If it ended up heading in their direction she needed a plan.

She began talking out loud to herself and what she needed to do:

“first a life preserver at the store”. She lived near the St Lucie river, since she moved in 20 years ago. Her area is a flood zone. The river had risen about eight to ten inches since she first moved to the neighborhood.

“buying a life preserver is a practical thing to do” she said out loud as she considered various possibilities.

Her phone rang , it was her niece Sarah, “Kim what are you going to do??” she asked sounding a bit frantic.

“Why not come to us? We are only a few hours away and most people will be heading north you can come west. It will be an easy ride.”

“i need to think about it Sara, it would be nice to see you two.”

As she was driving home a neighbor flagged her down “Hey if you don't want to be by yourself come over and stay with us, it'll be fun! We aren't going anywhere. Just text if your coming over.”

“Awww thanks Pearl, I'm not sure what I'm doing. I may drive to my nieces house inland. I doubt they'll lose power. Can I call or text you later when I make a decision?”

“Sure, no worries!”

She pulled into her driveway and knew her anxiety was escalating.

“Relax Kim, you'll figure it out. Take some time and do some meditation.” She knew talking to her self out loud might seem crazy but it was comforting to her.

She did a few breathing techniques and some self talk and decided to be still for five or ten minutes, that's often when answers come to her.

After sitting quiet with still no definitive answer. She noticed her pendulum on the table and mumbled to herself “you could ask it for an answer.”

“Or you could flip a coin?”

They say when asking for your wish, you and assign heads or tails to the two choices, flip it in the air and often at that moment you will be wishing for one or the other side to appear and you will have your answer.

“Or you could pull out the Tarot cards and ask them if you should go or stay? “

She chuckled to herself, even though your talking out loud to yourself your not answering, so you should feel reassured your sane, she mumbled and laughed to herself.

She started to criticize her self for being so indecisive and using other means to find her solution. Then she thought, whatever works and the pendulum is easy, so she pulled it out.

She asked it “please show me no” the pendulum didn't move for a few seconds then it started to move, it went side to side so that was No.

Then she asked “please show me yes and after a few seconds it moved forward and back.

Now she asked her question, “should I go to my family's house?” it responded forward and back so it was a yes.

She used the pendulum for many years and found it often confirmed her innermost thoughts and needs.

Funny how she doesn't experience as much fear with the pendulum.

Life is full of lessons if we are open minded enough to find what works for us. She rarely shares her beliefs in the spirit area with others. She judges herself harshly enough on her own. So why give someone else the opportunity?

It was an easy three hour drive and often the things she worries about never happen anyway

.

Her niece greeted her in the driveway with a warm hug

“Kim I am so glad you are here!” Harry's inside, just a heads up hes been a bit moody lately. I don't know what his problem is today. Maybe you being here will keep him from getting more crotchety. I think he wants 100% of the attention he demands. I'm sure it will pass. Or maybe I'm over reacting.”

Kim leaned forward and whispered “Trust your intuition! Your a smart intelligent woman and if your feeling” …. she hesitated, then added “a bit controlled don't discount your feelings.”

“Hey if you want me to give you a Tarot reading later, I brought my cards with me?”

Harry was in the kitchen and near the door leading to the garage where they had chatted, she wondered how much he had heard.

“Dinners almost ready, why don't you go freshen up before we eat.”

Kim thought it sounded more like an order then a request. Oh well not her problem. Live and let live.

They joined him in the kitchen and he motioned them to sit down at the table.

“It smells yummy Harry” Kim said in a complimentary way.

“Thanks Kim, I made chicken Parmesan with an organic Zucchini spaghetti I get it at our local Sprouts store. They spiral it there. Hope you enjoy it. “

The food was excellent. After dinner she offered to help with the dishes but Harry and Sarah said she was a guest and to go in the living room and they will join her shortly.

She found a comfy spot and settled in, feeling safe and happy to spend some time with Sarah.

They all sat around and got comfortable and agreed on a movie they all wanted to watch.

About an hour later Kim's tummy began rumbling. She tried repositioning herself on the couch but an hour later it became more intense. Now she was feeling nauseous and needing to run to the bathroom.

Suddenly it intensified and she just made it to the bathroom in time to vomit up most of her dinner. She cleaned herself up and then needed to use the toilet. More of the meal went through her.

“What the Hell?” she said out loud. She rarely gets sick.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, it was Sara asking “Are you okay?

Yes for now Kim said

If you need anything just call to me.

Kim had another round of getting rid of her meal from both ends.

She finally came out and settled back down on the couch.

“That was weird I rarely get sick, its been years. I love zucchini and Chicken Parmesan. Oh well maybe the stress of the trip took its toll on my body.”

About an hour later it started again and they insisted on taking her to the local medical outpatient center. They ran some tests, gave her some pills and antacid and told her to call them in the morning an let them know how she was doing.

When she got back she excused herself and went to bed. Her magic magnifying mind was going full speed. So she took out her pendulum, checked yes and no and then asked “do I have a bug?” Pendulum indicated no. Then she asked did someone put something in my food?” The pendulum hesitated and then gave a yes answer.

Her heart started to beat faster, “stop scaring yourself, go to sleep!!”

As she started to doze off, she said to herself, Kim your watching to many Murder She Wrote reruns and chuckled, just go to sleep!!! She finally dozed off and must have slept four to five hours. She felt a bit better as she swung her legs out of the bed and on the floor to get moving.

Her phone rang and it was the clinic they asked her how she felt? Also, would she mind coming into the office for her test results?

She got dressed and drove there thinking why do they want me to come in for the results.

They took her in a room with another doctor and said hesitatingly “we are sorry to say, it looks like you were giving something toxic, possibly poisoned?

Was anyone else sick?”

“No they were both fine.

Would they have a reason to harm you?

I don't think so, cant think, of any.

I am in shock. My niece said her Harry was going through a rough patch. She mentioned something about being jealous of anyone that takes her attention away from him. He sounded a bit possessive to me.

Your lucky you have a good immune system. You could have ended up in the hospital seriously ill or dying.”

Back at the house Kim asked Sara to take a walk. She shared the results of the tests. Sara was quiet.

Kim looked at her “Do you know something your not telling me?

Well.... I did make you my beneficiary for my estate.

What estate?

My very well to do friend passed away a few months ago and she had no family so she made me her beneficiary. Harry wanted me to make him my beneficiary but I just didn't trust him enough to do it, so I made it you.

I never told you because I thought if my trust in Harry deepened I would have changed it to him.

Well I guess I found out his true colors, almost at the expense of your life. I am so sorry Kim.

Kim was speechless, it all made sense.

She felt like suddenly she was the main character in one of those murder mystery shows.

Sara you know I need to report this, Kim said hesitantly.

Sara nodded yes, as Kim pulled out her cell phone and called the authorities. .