The Damning Wish

Submitted into Contest #140 in response to: Write a story that involves a flashback.... view prompt

37 comments

Romance Sad Speculative

This story contains themes or mentions of mental health issues.

The early summer sunshine fills our studio flat, brightening the white walls and caressing my arm with its gentle warmth through the velux windows as we sit at the table. Crumpet purrs, sunbathing on the wooden floor and pawing the air behind her favourite person. I remember when he picked her up from the street as a skinny black kitten a couple years ago, despite our landlady’s “no pets” policy. She’d let us keep her, he said. Now, I have to share him with the cat, but it is all I’d ever ask for.


The air is sweet with the mouthwatering aroma of coffee and the scent of freshly made waffles on our plates, served with maple syrup and ripe strawberries, from the plant we sowed the seeds of some time ago and nurtured into growing delicious treats on the windowsill. I watch with a smile as he lifts one to his lips and closes his eyes, savouring the flavour. The sunshine sits on the top of his eyelashes, plaiting gold into his hair and glowing on his shoulders, kissing his collarbones. 

Who knew, I would one day be jealous of the sunlight.

I let out a small sigh of delight, thinking of how I’ll claim those strawberry sweet, soft lips after breakfast again, and then every morning and night until the end of days. My chest swells with love and adoration and when he meets my eyes with that loving smile of his, my heart is about to burst. I’m going to ask him. My smile widens, as I think of us making that promise of forever, and I’m just about to pop the question when his voice, always warm and soft like velvet, fills the room.

‘Noah, I have to go home.’ 


I don’t want to understand it at first. This has been our home for almost the entire five years we’ve been together, and as far as I know he has no parents, no family home to return to. Not even a family name, and when I asked in our early months, he would just say something like home was with God in heaven, to which I wouldn’t say anything. I don’t believe in such things as… heaven…


My heart drops from the sunshine into the dark depths of the ocean.

‘No!’ I stand up so fast I knock the table, spilling our coffees and dropping my cutlery onto the floor. Crumpet runs hissing away from us and my heart beats like I ran a sprint.

‘No…’ I repeat quieter, my voice pleading. Forget the proposal.

‘I’m sorry.’ He leans towards me, reaching across the table to hold my hand, his warm skin on mine offering comfort suddenly scarce. I don’t want him to let go.

‘You don’t have to.’ I mutter, unable to speak any coherent thoughts.

‘I do,’ he says ever so softly, and I'm kicking myself for thinking we were past this, ‘Noah, it is God’s will–’

‘You’re wrong.’

‘No. I–’

‘I’ll take you to see a therapist.’

He gives me a compassionate smile.

‘There is no need.’

‘There is a need! If you are this unwell–’

‘I’m well. Please, calm down.’

‘Selaphiel!’ I bang my fists on the top of the table. More coffee spills. He slowly takes back his hand and takes his eyes off me, fixing them on the strawberries we picked together in perfect bliss not an hour ago. 

‘Just how can you expect me to be calm?’ I drop back into my chair and bury my face in my hands.


There is a heavy silence between us, only disturbed by the running of the tap and the rattling of dishes as we clean up the ruins of the breakfast. He washes the dishes and I dry them with a teatowel, absentmindedly looking at our photographs on the wall, finding our first picture together. Is this my fault? Am I a bad person..? In the frame, we are grinning at each other in our Red Cross T-shirts, with the fresh look of new lovers. The darkness, the picture hides. Behind us, a grey blur, the remains of a village wrecked by flood, and the big rips on the back of his T-shirt. For wings. The picture blurs by the sting in my eyes and I turn my face up to blink away the tears. I should never have ignored it, I should have done more, from the very first time I saw him, on top of that church’s roof. 




I didn’t know how he got up there, or why he was dressed in what looked like a costume, a short toga, clean and white, draped over his shoulder and secured around his waist with a golden rope; but he was there nonetheless, standing tall like a statue of a Greek god, looking over the village still half swallowed by the ocean.

I stopped in my tracks, a white cloud of breath escaping between my lips into the crisp, cold air.

He didn’t notice me at first, as I stood below, with a heavy box of supplies in my hands, wrapped up warmly in neoprene lined wellies, a wool scarf and bright red jacket. I swallowed my sense of unease as I was trying to think whether I should call out to him. My first thought, of course, was that he’d lost his mind, that he might want to jump. After all, many had lost what felt like their everything in the flood. I cleared my throat, trying the words I could say in my mind. 

When I finally mustered up the courage to open my mouth, his eyes found me. He smiled and raised a hand in greeting, stepping to the very edge of the roof. My heart thumped and I automatically raised my hand in return. The box fell on my foot. My knees buckled in the pain, and as I squatted there with watering eyes, grabbing after the bottles of water rolling away in every direction, I tried my best to catch them all before they’d roll too far and get too dirty, putting them back in the box. My heart was pounding, partly in embarrassment, but when I looked up, I couldn’t see him anymore. With a frustrated sigh, I shoved the last bottle back in the box, and stood, carefully testing my throbbing foot on the ground. Good. I could still walk on it. Just as I started to limp towards the shelter indoors, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Glancing back, that was the first time I looked into the pair of green eyes I would fall in love with. The boy — Selaphiel —, by some means not on the roof anymore, gave me a stray bottle and a smile that made me forget about my sore foot in an instant.


He wanted to help, and I wanted him not to freeze. Eventually, we came to an agreement: He’d accept wearing more appropriate clothes, and I’d let him help rebuild the village and care for the survivors. The T-shirt was a compromise. He said he couldn’t wear it because of his wings. First, I thought he was joking, later, that he was on drugs, but it was neither. I thought it was best to give him a job instead of arguing, and keep an eye on him. And he seemed to be fine. Working harder than anyone else on the team, with such devotion he would not stop for a break unless I pulled him aside to rest, he quickly proved himself to be the most selfless person I’ve ever met in my life. 

When I woke up in the mornings, he was already busy with work, and late in the evenings, I looked for him to tell him to get some rest. Like that, we ended up spending our evenings together, losing track of time in passionate conversations about all the crimes, war and poverty he had encountered whilst travelling the world for the last five years, and the places struck by natural disaster that I visited to provide aid; bonding over how we wanted to fix up the whole planet. “I will have to ask God to do something,” he said, and I made myself a mental note of warning. Proceed with caution.


A month and a half in, the weather changed. The day turned as dark as night, and we had to abandon the work outside, all of us sheltering in the church and the school building. It only got worse by the evening. With howling winds threatening to shatter the windows, and relentless rain hammering on the rooftop, muffled only by the thundering sky that made me shudder every time lightning struck, I could not wait to hide under a blanket. Whilst I was making my rounds, giving out cups of hot, steaming tea in the dim building I caught Selaphiel’s eyes a few times, watching over me from across the hall whilst distributing supplies. Maybe he was scared too, maybe he could sense my anxiety from miles, but either way I kept looking for him to calm my mind. A horrendous thunder made me spill some tea, and as I locked eyes with him, panting, another lightning struck, painting the shadow of two terrifying, large wings, stretched behind him in black, across the width of the wall.


I couldn’t breathe. It was most likely a pigeon, stretching its wings in the window at the right moment, but I could not stop myself from shaking. I never did well in storms, they were a living nightmare. After the tea rounds, I escaped the hall and slid down with my back to the wall in a quiet corner, out of sight and away from everyone.

‘Noah?’ His voice startled me. It shouldn’t have surprised me that he came looking for me, when until that day, I always made sure to find him in the evenings. I forced a smile.

‘Sorry… Thanks for today.’ He shook his head and, ever so thoughtful and attentive, handed me a cup of chamomile tea. I noticed he’d brought our sleeping bags.

‘It is a little quieter here,’ he explained, and when we rolled out the sleeping bags, he settled close to me.

‘Are you cold?’ I asked, all wrapped up and shivering, but he seemed most content in his ripped T-Shirt, lying atop of his sleeping bag.

‘No… And you don’t have to be, either.’ he scooted closer, and my heart skipped a beat as I looked into his shiny eyes catching the moonlight through the windows. I gave him a nervous smile and closed my eyes, reminding myself of the potential consequences of falling for a christian boy: it had not ended well before. Though I felt warmer, I wasn’t able to sleep for long, with the sounds of the storm and that of my own heartbeat in my ears.


I found him busy serving breakfast the next morning, and when we went outside to assess and remedy the damage caused by the storm, he threw himself into the work like no other, threading through rising flood on the streets to retrieve our blown and washed away tools and supplies. You really are an angel, I thought with feelings of gratitude, and something more, that at that point, I did not want to name.


It was towards the end of the second month of volunteering, when the weather started to warm and the birds chirped songs of new hope, that we could start working on houses. Selaphiel and I ended up working on the same one, and I would’ve fallen off the top of it if it wasn’t for him grabbing my hand and pulling me back up. My life flashed before my eyes when I slipped. I didn’t know how he got there so fast, how he had the strength to pull me back on the beams, or what had gotten into me, when I pressed my lips onto his as soon as we sat safely, for a moment too long and scarily one-sided. The bucket of tools behind him fell from the beam and crashed into the ground, the noise like a slap in my face, hitting me back to reality. I pulled away. He was motionless, his olive eyes staring wide open, shades of green with shimmery gold flecks shining with something like shock, confusion and surprise.

I swallowed down my fake regret and unease. 

‘Selaphiel..?’ He took a small gasp of air, his eyes flickering onto my lips. I should’ve said sorry and thanked him for saving my life, but my tongue formed different words. ‘I need some sort of a reaction…’ I heard myself plead, inflicting on myself an excruciating wait. Pausing for long was unlike him, and I could almost see the gears turn in his head, before he reached towards me. My first thought was that he was going to shove me off the roof, but the push never came. His hand slid into my hair.

‘Let’s try again.’


I knew it was wrong, and I tried not wanting it, reminding myself every time he turned his back and I saw the ripped back of his T-shirt. Pursuing someone with that kind of delusion felt as unethical as dating a kid under eighteen. At the very least he told me he was older… That didn’t help draw the line between us: I kept stepping over.

Watching the sunset on the shore, over the littered beach and the sparkling waves, as I rested my hand up on his back, I could not stop myself telling him that everything he believed just wasn’t true. It was painful as I feared I would upset him, but he turned his face towards me, tilting his head the same way he did each time before we kissed.

‘If not an angel, what can I be to you?’ he asked with a hint of a teasing smile on his lips.

At that, I promptly duct taped the mouth of the voices of reason and doubt, and threw them into the deepest, darkest pit of my mind with the intention of silencing them forever.

All that, so I could show him what he was to me, what I wanted us to be, which I did that night, despite my better judgement and despite how he winced and gasped “W-wings..!” when I pushed him onto his back. I selfishly still had him, firmly shoving the voice of judgement to join the rest of the ones trying to hold me back into the prison of ignored thoughts. So what, if he’s bonkers? Isn’t all fair in love and war?




And yet, here we are: five years on in the grave of my own digging at the end of the worst ever day in my life. I should've forced him into mental care years ago, instead of pretending ignorance. I clear my throat.

‘When are you planning to..?’ I cannot bring myself to finish my question, but finishing sentences was never of importance between us.

‘Tomorrow. But we’ll meet again. Maybe in about sixty years? I know it sounds like a lot, but I promise, it is not really a long time at the end.’

‘Are you actually talking about the afterlife..?’ I’m stunned by his bluntness.

He nods.

‘You can’t leave Crumpet,’ I protest, shaking my head with a heavy stone in my throat. ‘I won’t let you–’

‘I know you are upset–’

‘I’m scared.’

‘–but I don’t want to part on bad terms,’ he says, and I just simply do not want to part. ‘Let me say goodbye.’

I don’t want to hear it.

Staring out the dark window, I avoid looking at him as he holds my hand and tells me how I am the kindest person he ever met and how he will always treasure the time we had here on Earth.

I wonder if “I love you” always felt like a knife through my heart, twisted. I will fix this. Even if I have to tie him up and carry him to the hospital against his will, even if it means that we are over. I won’t let anything happen to him.


‘...If you could believe me, it wouldn’t be this painful. I wish you could.’

‘How could I risk that?!’ I snap.

‘You would be right not to, if it was anyone else. But I’m telling the truth.’

‘Everyone thinks they are.’


My anxiety grows by the second as the sun sets, and I can’t for a moment let him out of sight. I can tell he feels bad for me, but not bad enough to say what I want to hear.

‘Why are you so sure there is heaven? That there is God? Where is your evidence?’

‘Been there, seen him.’ He smiles, but he also clearly sees wings that he doesn’t have.

‘Selaphiel, I’m begging you–’

‘Noah,’ He still has a way of saying my name sweetly, as he beckons me to the window. ‘come here.’


‘I’ll grant you a parting wish,’ he says, but I don’t want a parting anything, I just want him to stay.

‘What are you now, a jinn?’ I ask, not in the nicest of tones. At least if he was a jinn I could trap him inside a lamp for eternity… That should be safe enough.

‘It will only be one wish. Look.’

He makes a little swiping movement with his finger and above, I see it: a long tailed shooting star travelling through the sky.

‘I wish for you to be happy, when I am gone. I hope that you will find God.’

I close my eyes and with every fibre of my being wish that he will not. I want no more of that talk. No more of heaven and no more wings.


As I've told him: a wish only comes true when one guards it with silence, keeps it as a secret.


April 05, 2022 19:01

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37 comments

K. Antonio
06:05 Apr 06, 2022

Well, call me saciated. I remember your last heavenly story and I'm glad that now we got a preview/extension. IMO you were very successful in your tone and pacing. The story feels romantic, warm in the beginning, and heartfelt towards the end. Is it strange that I have never written a kiss scene on here? This story surely made me think that I should try. Anyway, I don't have any critique. I read this out of enjoyment and because I adored your other story with Selaphiel. I agree with J.C. The transitions were good. Flashbacks can be quit...

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K. Antonio
06:15 Apr 06, 2022

Also, I loved the visual details throughout the piece. The descriptions in the beginning injected a lot of richness to the story early on.

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Riel Rosehill
06:51 Apr 06, 2022

Oh, thank you! I actually remember you saying under the original Selaphiel story that you would be interested in exploring this relationship, which was another nudge towards me finally writing this, so I'm really happy you enjoyed it! I loved writing both of these stories, and especially for this one I would've hated it to be a let down! So thank you very much for the lovely feedback. PS: It took me nine stories here to write one with a kiss scene, I find romance tough to pull off within a short story! But I hope you'll give it a try too -...

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Zack Powell
04:22 Apr 06, 2022

OMG, is this...could it be...were my prayers for another Selaphiel story answered?! 🙏 Ok, so, as I was reading this, I got to the sentence "Not even a family name, and when I asked in our early months, he would just say something like home was with God in heaven, to which I wouldn’t say anything," and I was like, Oh my God, did she do it, did she give us a prequel?! And a minute later when I saw "Selaphiel," I screamed. (Yeah, this has nothing to do with the story, I just want you to know how smart I felt for catching on before you confirme...

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Riel Rosehill
05:48 Apr 06, 2022

Hey! If not for you saying "I really wanted to see a scene with Selaphiel and the human boy he bonded with." this story would not exist, so thank you for the inspiration and I hope I didn't let you down! Btw nice one on realising it was Selaphiel, I deliberately wrote the begging as a lead up to reveal (for those very few who actually read Stars to Dust, haha) and a scream is all I wanted for that! :D About the 5 years together, I did wonder whether 2 years would call for more intense emotions, but I also wanted to make it "not a fling" ...

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Zack Powell
15:16 Apr 06, 2022

At this point, the only way you could let me down is if you didn't post a story every week. 😉 I think 5 years is totally valid (see: your own life, LOL - this is why I'm single, double LOL). Depends on what/how you want to convey about their relationship. And since you were going for committed, it probably is the better choice here. I took the "voice of judgement" line at face value the first time (probably cause I was going fast because I was desperate to see how the story ended) and it didn't trip me up, but now that I'm rereading it 😏 O...

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Riel Rosehill
20:39 Apr 06, 2022

Wow it seems it's only me who couldn't read my own line - I asked a few others I expected to tumble over it and nope, nobody did... nevermind as it was supposed to be taken at face value, I just havve to accept you're all better people than me LOL On an unrelated side note, how are you getting on with that 5K masterpiece I can't wait to get my hands on? X

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Zack Powell
22:30 Apr 06, 2022

LOL, I've had PLENTY of lines like that too. You just never know how people are gonna interpret something, am I right? I'm probably gonna be finished with the week's contest story sometime tonight or early tomorrow, and then I'm devoting the rest of the week(end?) to the 5Ker. Fingers crossed I won't hate it by the end of the editing process! 🤞

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J.C. Lovero
01:03 Apr 06, 2022

Ri Ri! (that's my new nickname for you-get into it) OK, first of all, I am pretty sure I am fangirling here. Is this the human boy from that Selaphiel story you wrote where he couldn't see God anymore? I think it is... and I screamed when I thought that was the case. I love me a good origin story. Your transitions to and from the flashback were great, first anchoring us to the photo and moving to the roof scene, then bringing us back towards the end as Noah transitions the thoughts in his mind. I know you've told me before that you strugg...

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Riel Rosehill
05:25 Apr 06, 2022

Hi J.C., Nice to see you here! Like how you created a nickname out of... my nickname, I can get into that 😂 let you in on a secret... You'll be the first to know. It's Gab[riel]la 😉 But I answer to anything, my own boyfriend cannot say "Riel" for the life of him, apparently it's too hard xD Thanks for the fangirling - that's what I write for! "I screamed when I thought that was the case." Yes, THANK YOU!! ❤️ And thanks for the validation on the kiss scene, much appreciated, especially coming from you! PS I've done the exact same thing and...

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Amanda Lieser
09:20 May 28, 2022

Hello! I seem to have stumbled upon an extension before enjoying the original piece that inspired this one. I think I want to digest this a bit more before I read your other piece. I really loved how you wrote love and faith within this story. I thought you masterfully crafted a twist into a well known story(one person wants to pursue love and the other is pursuing their faith). I also loved how you made it clear that the story ending in tragedy did not contradict the beauty of the love the characters shared. If you’ve got a moment, please c...

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Riel Rosehill
10:04 May 28, 2022

Hello! Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, this was one of my favourite stories to write. Yes, this is the second one! The first is actually the first story I have ever posted on here, titled "Stars to Dust" When I wrote that, I didn't think there would one time be a prequel! I will head over to read your latest story - I'm always so happy to see a new one pop up on your page!

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Tamanna Nir
05:44 Apr 24, 2022

As beautiful and painful as the previous one and I am still left wishing for more. I am in love with both. As always your beginning is very beautiful, warm as sunshine and love. And throughout the first para I was submerged in the warmth and depth of Noah's feeling until - ‘Noah, I have to go home.’ with Noah, I also got startled as well. That was expected but I was totally pulled into Noah's skin and was hooked in there till the end. The transition from present to past or emotions to emotions was sooo smooth, something I really struggle ...

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Riel Rosehill
13:12 Apr 24, 2022

Heyy! Sorry for messing with your ships, haha. On the edit: yes, you've got it! It was that wish that caused him to loose his wings eventually. "I am still left wishing for more" -- well, I have a third "episode" drafted that will be coming at some point, so... that's something I look forwards to posting in the future. Thanks for your kind feedback <3

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Zelda C. Thorne
17:01 Apr 13, 2022

Deep and intense! Good use of flashback and the prose flowed well. I see there is another angel story on here from what others have said?? It's cool that you've revisited a character. Nice one!

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Riel Rosehill
17:30 Apr 13, 2022

Thanks Rachel! Yes, first wrote Selaphiel for the first story I posted here and though I originally had no intention of returning to them, I was inspired by the old comments and had fun exploring him from a different POV this time around. Might just keep them in my backpocket for now.

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12:33 Apr 13, 2022

What a cool story! As soon as I read the name Selaphiel, I gasped “a REAL angel!” (and, based on other comments, Selaphiel has made other appearances in your work? Now, I need to scroll back through the rest.) But, before that, it was your description of breakfast and sunlight jealousy that drew me in. Sexy prose will always have me buckling in till the end!

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Riel Rosehill
12:40 Apr 13, 2022

Oh thank you so much for reading and for your comment! Yes - Selaphiel was the POV character of my first ever story posted here, and I finally brought him back. I might rely on this bunch to get around writers' block in the future too, seemed to do the job!

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19:02 Apr 12, 2022

Riel, this was beautiful! it reminds me of one of my favorite books (Demon by Tosca Lee) so good job there! you really know how to draw us into the characters and make people invested in them in such a short space of time. very well done!

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Riel Rosehill
19:10 Apr 12, 2022

Aww, thank you for reading my story, getting invested in my characters' journey and leaving such a nice commentet! I'm going to check out that book since I've not read it, and I was looking for titles to read for the rest of the year! Thanks a lot x

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Suma Jayachandar
09:58 Apr 12, 2022

What an intense story with gorgeous imagery! It truly transported me to another dimension. Thanks for sharing

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Riel Rosehill
10:08 Apr 12, 2022

Thank you for taking your time to read and sharing this kind comment - all the feedback is much appreciated!

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Jay Mc Kenzie
09:13 Apr 11, 2022

Hi Riel! This is the second story of yours that I've read, and the voice is so different to the other, but no less beautifully rendered. The opening scene in the kitchen is stunning. I'm there with them and it's a soft, serene place to be...until it's not. I too adore Crumpet as a cats name! It adds to the soft buttery loveliness of the scene. Lines I loved: "Who knew, I would one day be jealous of the sunlight." (gorgeous) "...thinking of how I’ll claim those strawberry sweet, soft lips after breakfast again, and then every morning an...

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Riel Rosehill
16:10 Apr 11, 2022

Hi Jay, Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm trying different things here, genres, voices, just having fun with it all & trying to improve my writing. I'm glad you liked my story, thanks for taking your time to read!

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Vin Saber
05:21 Apr 10, 2022

"Who knew, I would one day be jealous of the sunlight. " Thanks for giving me a new star to add in my galaxy of words. RiEL RosehILL, Sela... SelaphiEL -- what's with this "el" ?

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Riel Rosehill
05:38 Apr 10, 2022

Haha, nothing, there's no conspiracy with the names I promise! Thanks for reading my story 😁

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Clyde Laffan
10:21 Apr 09, 2022

Love this. Having no religious education at all I had to Google Selaphiel. Love a sexy angel. As yours is. One thought and this is just me, (and I'm reading this late at night, ) I wish the story was smaller. I am so enthralled by it, so rooting for Noah and the Angel, I would have been happy if the story had been just about how they met perhaps, and not the whole nine yards (5 years). You also have left me wanting more (is this being a hypocrite?) Noah has a very biblical name too. What is going on there? Give me less, give me more, just gi...

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Riel Rosehill
10:47 Apr 09, 2022

Hi Clyde! Thanks for taking your time to read and comment! I'll admit I had to google "names of archangels" and just picked a name I liked the sound of and was less well-known, haha. I'm happy to hear you are into my characters! I like them too - and I take your point, maybe I should have split things up a little more and just wrote a hole buch of short stories about them, haha. Oh well... I might still find a way around that, who knows! So far I really enjoyed writing the Selaphiel stories, more than anything else I have posted here. About ...

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Michał Przywara
20:36 Apr 08, 2022

So, I'm one of those readers that didn't know this was based on a previous story of yours, so I went in blind. I had no idea who these characters were. From my POV, we have a heart wrenching breakup, right at the moment of a proposal. The guy says he's got to go home, and that home is with God. Pretty big red flag, sure. Then his name drops: Selaphiel. So now I'm immediately thinking: yup, buddy's insane… unless… could he be a literal angel? Especially in a story with a Noah in it, and with flooding? That's definitely a cool concept, an...

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Riel Rosehill
21:18 Apr 08, 2022

Hi, thank you so much for dropping by to read & chat! (Congrats for the shortlist placing again!!🥳) I love how you though "he is mad unless" so early on, when I've not even leaned into either theory yet, just with the smallest of hints! Sign of a good reader :) I was actually really curious to what people who hadn't read the first story (which was Selaphiel POV and on a timeline set just after this one) would make of this - in that story I mentioned Noah didn't believe in angels (though he had just a short mention and no name then) so I ha...

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Michał Przywara
22:20 Apr 08, 2022

Yeah, it is difficult, no doubt. I think it's part of the fun too. Keeps us guessing, like the "bird shadow" in the church. And keeping us guessing keeps us reading :)

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Lavonne H.
21:50 Apr 07, 2022

OH! Riel. After I read your story, I read all the comments that proceeded mine. I need to read your first story. But then, I am happy I hadn't! My very first thought was "wow, she can write romance!!!" I loved your lines: "I watch with a smile as he lifts one to his lips and closes his eyes, savouring the flavour. The sunshine sits on the top of his eyelashes, plaiting gold into his hair and glowing on his shoulders, kissing his collarbones. Who knew, I would one day be jealous of the sunlight." How lyrical, how sensuous, how ROMANTI...

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Riel Rosehill
22:09 Apr 07, 2022

Hi Lavonne, Thank you so much! You are the first one to comment who hasn't read my first story so far and I am so happy that you still enjoyed it as a standalone! To be honest I don't know if demotion was a typo - I know what it means and devotion is what I wanted to write but I also distinctly remember pausing for a second after I wrote it like something was off - I do write stupid stuff when I'm tired (and will shamelessly blame it on how English is my "second language" every time 🤣), but regardless of whether I am aware of my mistakes or...

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Lavonne H.
22:15 Apr 07, 2022

English is your 2nd language???!!! OMG. Gobsmacked (and I am not British but I love that word.) Yours in writing, Lavonne

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Riel Rosehill
22:23 Apr 07, 2022

Yes, my first language is Hungarian... Though to be honest I mainly use English now, and the Hungarian is getting rusty. I moved to England in 2013, my boyfriend is British. But I'm so happy you all can't hear my accent through my writing - I always did better non-verbally, haha. Gobsmacked is a great word 😃

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Howard Seeley
03:58 Apr 07, 2022

Yes, this segment of your story makes more sense to me. It has a good beginning and ends nicely. I'd enjoy reading the completed work.

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Riel Rosehill
05:45 Apr 07, 2022

Thank you. I don't know if I will write about them again. I'm not sure where the story would go, so I'm not planning on it at the moment, but I wasn't planning on writing this one either, when I finished the first one! Thank you for taking your time to read and leave a comment.

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