He loves me

“The only thing made life worth living were their smiles filled with the warmth of their soul and the twinkle in their eyes filled with the love of the Universe”

Life seemed like a never ending void for Lea. Home was never a place of safety, comfort or love. It was a place of dread and horror, from where she was barely able to make it out as a sane person. But was Lea sane?

I try to run past through the living room, straight to my room. Trying to avoid the eyes of my parents, they seem to be devoid of any real love and care for me. I run to find solace, as soon as I close the bedroom door everything suddenly seems better. I am surrounded by wonderful people, people who love me, care for me and will do anything for me and I for them. With every gaze of my eyes, I find those kind smiles following me, out of these, one was very special for me. It glistened through the dark night, scaring away every ounce of darkness that haunts my life and my heart.

At that moment the phone dinged a notification and Lea’s gaze shifted from the walls of her room filled with photos and art of her favorite band - BTS. There was hardly any space left to see the actual wall. And hardly any space left to see the actual Lea.

Oh he is live! Oh dear heart do you have to thump so loudly every time? I cannot wait to see his face, I hope he remembers me. Well, of course he does. I have made myself very noticeable to him.

“I missed you jagiya” Lea wrote

Read my comment darling. I know you have been waiting for me. I will be there for you even if this world burns down to nothing.

Lea was the first one on the live session, her eyes directly gazing into his through the screen. If energies could be passed through the screen, we would feel so many things that would make us bury our phones and never pick them up ever again.

But words are still energy

Namjoon was reading the comments while sniffling lightly

“Sorry guys I have a cold, I guess I might be coming down with a fever” he said

Oh no! What kind of person I am to ignore the health of my beloved! I have been so neglectful! How can I let this happen to my savior!

No, this won’t do! I have to be there for him!

Lea picked up her jacket and purse

But it will take more than half hour to reach his place, not forgetting the traffic. Should I move in his neighborhood? But it will be too late if I start now and he might end the live. I should order from here.

Lea took out her phone and pressed a few buttons and sat back watching Namjoon’s face with bliss all around. The feeling of void had left her for a few moments and she just saw his face, his warmth-inducing chuckle and his care-filled eyes.

“The weather is changing guys, please take care of yourself. Wear warm clothes, drink warm drinks and try to maintain a healthy routine. I love you guys” Namjoon said

Oh my God! He cares for us so much, he cares for me so much. I never thought a person could love me and care for me so much. He is an angel sent just for me, to save me. To save me from all the hell that surrounds me.

In 15 minutes Namjoon’s face changed from casual to surprised as he was informed about a packet delivered, waiting for him. He received the packet and his energy completely changed.

“Hey guys” he said sitting back in his chair facing the camera

“Sorry guys I am not feeling too well, I will have to end the live early today. I am so sorry”

After a few more words he left

Aww, he got my package! And he doesn’t want anyone else to see it. Of course, because I am so special to him. Should I also message him to let him know it was from me?

There was a dark hole within Lea and temporarily she was trying to fill it with someone’s energy, making her feel for those fleeting moments that her life was good.

Ugh! Why does my mom hate me so much? Why do I have to live with these people who cannot love me? I should kill myself rather than living in this hell hole. No, wait, no, I can’t. Who will be there for my jagiya? I cannot leave him alone in this terrible world, with these disgusting people.

Lea’s phone dinged with non-stop notifications and immediately her face lighted up like the sun. She sprinted out of her house.

I have to be there. I have to see his face that’s the only thing that will make my day better. That is the only thing that will make life worth living. He is the only thing that makes my life worth.

Lea reached her destination running 3 kilometers, taking the bus, then taking a taxi, all of this took 3 hours but for her it was nothing. No amount of time, no amount of money, no amount of any materialistic aspect mattered above her “devotion” to him. Her emotions and everything she felt about him and about them was of only importance to her. She finally reached her destination

Is he here? Did he leave? Should I go inside?

As she waited outside with a couple of others, the only ones who knew that Namjoon would be here today, he finally walked out and the bodyguards created a path and a barrier around him.

If only I could show him how much I love him, how much he means to me then I know he will love me for sure. I know there won’t be anybody else in his life apart from me and that he and I were always meant to be. I must show him that I am the one for him.

At that moment a glowing bouquet of forget-me-nots was thrown as Namjoon walked ahead startling him deeply. He was not expecting anyone to be here. He looked down and stared at the bouquet with a card sticking out printed with words - from your jagiya

I know he will love it. I know he loves me. He has to. Because he will find no one else that would be willing to sacrifice herself as quickly and easily as I would. Even if he asks for my life, I would give it to him without any questions. Because I already have my life and that is him, Namjoon.

If today he acknowledges my love, our love then I can die a happy woman. I will have no regrets. If he accepts my love I will know I am worthy and I will prove it to him again and again. I will show him how worthy I am of his attention, of his love, of everything. We are soulmates.

Namjoon stared at the bouquet, not picking it up, the guards refused him to. He glanced up and looked around trying to follow the root of the object when his eyes finally met with someone standing a few meters away with a mask on.

“Here, you can take it” the guard handed him the bouquet after checking it. He took it and cracked a small smile at the person with whom his eyes met and left

He accepted it! He accepted my love! He knows it’s me! He knows me! Our love shall prevail!

Apparently Lea’s mission was accomplished - filling the void in herself, temporarily. It was time for her to head back home.

Oh good, his car drove inside his building. He’s finally home

“You can turn around mister” Lea told the taxi driver after watching Namjoon’s car

Heading back my heart feels full. All the pains of my life just melted away with just one look. His deep eyes, his beautiful smile is all for me. Nothing can ever hurt me because he loves me.

Lea headed in, her parents’ shouts and screams fell on deaf ears. The broken bottles of alcohol, the furniture turned upside down, the house a haunting mess meant nothing to her as she glided back to her room and closed the door entering her bliss.

“What?!” she almost yelled in anger “My Namjoon can’t date anyone!”

I will show these haters who try to spread false rumors about the love of my life. How can he date anyone? He cannot! He is not allowed to date anyone! What about my love for him? I have dedicated myself to him and he cannot even steer clear of these rumors?! I will put an end to all this right now!

With fingers typing faster than a storm, Lea typed away one comment after the other getting sucked into an ocean of people with voids in their hearts.

Ahh now I can go to sleep. Should I text him goodnight? Did he change his number? Where will I go and see him tomorrow? He should see me, so that he always remembers me.

Tomorrow is another new day. Another day to show him my love. To make my presence known because he loves me.