Post Vin

“Selene! He’s gone!” Pam yells shaking Selene off of Vin

Selene’s eyes widen, only seeing tunnel vision of Vin lying there with a pool of blood surrounding him. Her breathing started to become irregular as she looked down her hands to see that same blood. She was trying to stop the bleeding not realizing there were other wounds on his body that were pouring out. Nothing felt real, she can’t even hear Pam yelling in her ear. 

All she sees is Vin’s lifeless eyes staring directly at her as if it was her fault she didn’t protect him. It was her fault she was in the way. If she knew the attack was going to hit her, he wouldn’t have died. It’s her fault.

***

“Selene?” Jason shakes Selene awake in her bed, and he even notices the dried tears on her face. “Hey, you were screaming in your sleep again.”

“Was I?” Selene croaked, still feeling the effects of what happened yesterday. “I’m sorry did I wake you up Jason?”

“No,” he reassured as he gently squeezed her hand that was lazily out on her side. “I was up for a while, and I heard you scream for… Vin.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Y’know Vin doesn’t like you apologizing like that especially when we all know and you should know it’s not your fault.”

Selene's eyes turn to the window on her left that’s right next to her bed. What happened yesterday seemed like a nightmare she keeps replaying in her subconscious. The way he looked at her when he was gone. She will always blame herself is what she keeps repeating. And repeating.

“Selene,” Jason snapped. “Go to Council Winters. Get some of his tea and talk.”

“I will in the morning,” she replied with only a slight nod. 

Jason could see that she definitely won’t go in the morning, he knows her well enough she might skip meals and stay in bed. “I’ll be dragging you,” he says once before leaving.

Selene stares at her window a little more, only seeing the moon ever so slightly in the top right corner.  It’s almost a full moon. Vin loved seeing the moon with her. Will he be seeing the full moon again soon?

***

Selene stared at her window, watching the sky change from what she saw was the moon with stars and a dark background to a blue sky with a few puffy clouds and the sun that’s luckily not in her eye. The same lazy position that Jason left her as. She wanted to feel numb to the pain and it feels like that, but all she can truly feel is her heart breaking on repeat as she imagines Vin’s body. The worst of it is that they have to leave his body there to escape properly. He can’t even get a proper burial. She isn’t so sure if she could have any closure with a proper burial. 

Downstairs was a kitchen connected to a living room where Pam was currently making coffee for everyone in this small house while Jason was writing certain notes down of what happened when it’s time to send it to Council Winters.

“You think she’ll actually leave the room?” Pam asked Jason. 

“I doubt it,” Jason replied as he released an annoyed sigh. “Vin meant everything to Selene. I have never seen someone so in love with another.”

Pam chuckled, “Is it because–”

“Don’t finish that. I know what you’ll say” he interrupted.

“You think Council Winters would actually do something for Selene?” Pam asked.

“He is her uncle, so I don’t see why not. Do you?” he questioned. Then he went over to the fireplace, rolled up the note he wrote on, blew out some fire on the note that didn’t exactly burn and sent it up through the chimney.

***

By the afternoon, Pam went upstairs to Selene’s room and noticed Selene only ate one bite of her sandwich. The famous grilled tomato cheese sandwich Selene likes from Pam. The only thing Pam is at least grateful for is seeing Selene sitting on her bed, looking through the album of photos she created for Vin and her.

“Selene, dear,” Pam spoke, interrupting Selene’s trance of looking through her album to look at Pam.

“Yes Pam?”

“You always finish your food,” Pam said worriedly. Then she went to the corner of Selene’s bed and sat on it. “Vin would want you to eat that.”

Selene's heart dropped to her stomach and felt it break there again. “I know. I just don’t feel hungry Pam.”

“Dear you must eat something,” Pam countered. “Anything really before Council Winters move us again to a safer location.”

“I'd rather stay where Vin and I met,” Selene sniffled. 

Pam hated seeing Selene become like this, the last time she saw her like this was when her parents died. Pam takes the album from Selene’s hand and gives her the warmest hugs. 

From there, Selene couldn’t resist Pam’s hugs and tears started to flow down uncontrollably. Selene began to whimper out Vin's name over and over and even saying sorry out loud. Loud enough for Jason to come out his room and see Selene in the most vulnerable state he has ever witnessed her in. 

At this moment he wished Vin was alive so he didn't see his cousin crying like this. The way Selene was gripping onto the back of Pam’s shirt like she’ll fall if she doesn’t hurt Jason in a way he’s not used to know. From just her sobs made him finally feel the despair Selene feels the second she lost the love of her life.

***

Jason and Pam began packing later that night when they received a letter back from Council Winter that they’ll be moving locations by midnight. It’s 7:00 PM and Selene hasn’t moved at all. She had her suitcase on her bed and opened. The only thing she has in it is her photo album and some trinkets of their time together for over two years. 

Jason walked past her room, her door wide open since they got back from their mission. He stopped in his tracks and noticed her almost empty suitcase. 

“Selene, did you ever start packing anything else?” Jason asked, walking in her room. “Do you need help?”

His eyes widen, noticing her eyes bags and the sudden life she had in her eyes is just dull. He’s used to Selene having loud and bright eyes no matter the time of day so seeing this is new to him.

Selene never responded to his question verbally or even bothered looking at him, but she nodded her head.

“We’ll see Council Winters tonight okay? You can talk to him,” Jason informed as he started to go through her closet with very few clothing and began to fold them then roll them up to fit in her suitcase on top of the photo album. He noticed the cover was purple, their names in their own handwriting in black ink, and a heart with their initials inside. If puppy love was a true reward, they would win it. 

If being heartbroken and feeling guilty when it wasn’t their fault, Selene would win it. 

As Jason packs in front of Selene’s eyes, all she sees is the fact Vin’s name was disappearing with each clothing being laid on top as if he’s disappearing in front of her. She wishes she could cry again like she did with Pam earlier in the day, but it seems Pam took all the tears from Selene from that single hug. 

The pain is still there, but she can finally feel the numbness to that pain arriving, and she’s craving it.