The Judge, Jury, and Executioner

TW: mental health, cheating, murder, suicide,

Moving on. It's a simple thing. But like so many things in life it’s looked over so simply. But when you are caught in the trance of being in one place unable to take a single step forward something so simple becomes so difficult in the time it takes to take a breath. Rain patters against the windows making a loud plink plink sound. She looks outside staring at the droplets making their way down, joining with others on the way down. In a way those droplets were like life. You make your way down joining others and leaving small things behind like the trail of water those droplets left in their wake. Her eyes drifted back to the menu in front of her. Filled with words and letters she read but didn't process. She lifted her eyes from the menu to in front of her at the empty seat across the table. There was supposed to be someone sitting there. Her boyfriend. This was supposed to be a date night but he hadn’t showed up even after the two hours after her waiting at that table lonely. She pulled her phone from the purse sitting on her lap and looked at it. She sighed, no notifications. 

“Ma’am?” She looked up and saw the waitress standing in front of her. “I’m sorry but in order to stay any longer you have to order something.” 

“Alright, thank you.” The woman stood up, gathered her things and walked out of the restaurant. Leaving the smells of fancier food behind. As she stood under the ledge jutting from the restaurant watching the rain she felt the anger and embarrassment of sitting in that restaurant for two hours. She opened her umbrella and walked in the rain. She didn't have a car so as she walked getting more and more soaked she thought about the journey to the restaurant and if she had done something wrong to upset her boyfriend. She had gotten up this morning, got dressed and went to work. She worked as an assistant to a big CEO. After a long day of running errands and signing papers for her boss, she had gone back to her apartment and gotten ready for her date. As she slipped on the tighter dark purple dress that hugged her curves and brushed an eyeshadow that was darker with some shine to her eyelid, she imagined how this night would go. This was not what she had planned. She had caught a cab so she didn’t get rained on to the restaurant texting him that she was on her way. He hadn’t answered. She had just thought he had been busy getting ready. She had ignored it and as the cab pulled up she had gotten out and sat at her reserved table. Where she had continued sitting for another two hours with no one on the opposite side of her table. She had texted him multiple times asking where he was with no answer. There was a point where she got worried and considered leaving but she had worried he’d get there and not find her. So she sat. And sat. And sat. Until she had to leave. 

She was snapped back to the present when a car passed by spraying water and soaking her lower half. She yelped and jumped back. As she looked at her dripping dress she groaned. This day just couldn’t get any worse. That's when she had an idea. Instead of going back to her apartment she’d go to his apartment to see if she could find him. They had been together for three years but he hadn’t wanted to move in with her or her with him. He had said he enjoyed his privacy and she could respect that. As she saw the gate leading to the hall with doors on either side leading to apartments she took a breath and opened the gate. As she walked in, the smell of cleaning solutions hit her, making her eyes water and her nose burn. Mrs. Johnson must be at it again. Mrs. Johnson was a widow who had dementia. So every time she was here it seemed like Mrs. Johnson was cleaning up after her late husband who she insisted was just at work and would be home soon. It made her sad when she thought about it. 

She climbed the stairs to the second floor and walked down the hall looking at the numbers on the doors. 209…211…217… that’s it! In front of her was a door that had the number 219 on it. She knocked with no answer. After waiting for a moment, she took the spare key he had given her after a year they had dated out and put it in the lock, turning until she heard a small click. She turned the knob and opened the door. 

“Hello?” She called out. Still no answer. “Jake?” She walked forward and saw the kitchen white and clean with a bowl of fruit on the island. Jake was always a very clean person; he had to have everything his way or he would get angry and lash out. But that didn’t happen very often. She turned to her right seeing the hallway that led to two doors leading to their own bedrooms. On the opposite side was the door that led to the bathroom. The walls were a light blue color with a white trim with the doors being the same white. The door at the very end was the door to his bedroom. She could hear something now, something like the cries of a woman being pleased and a man getting a release. She wasn’t sure what to think about it, it sounded too real to be coming from a phone or T.V. She reached the door and touched the knob lightly wondering what she would find. She turned the knob and swung the door open. What she saw broke her heart. Her boyfriend…clothesless on the bed with a woman under him. For half a moment they hadn't realized she was there. Until the woman saw her and screamed. Jake jumped off of the woman.

“Ana!” He shouted, grabbing a towel on the ground and wrapping it around himself. “I can explain this.” The woman behind him grabbed her clothes on the floor and started tugging them on. Ana stared at her then him looking between them. 

“Is this why you left me alone at the restaurant?” She could feel tears behind her eyes threatening to fall. “For this woman?” He stayed quiet looking at his feet.

“Did you even realize he was taken?” She asked the woman who had her clothes on now.

“He told me.” she said softly. “But we’re in love.” Her voice grew stronger saying that. Saying that her boyfriend loved her instead of the woman he was dating. 

“How long? How long has this been going on?” She whipped her head over to Jake. 

“Two years.” He murmured. 

“Is this why you didn’t want me to move in with you? And why you didn't want me to show up announced?” She could feel the tears starting to drip down her face, smearing her makeup and making it run. Her anger was coming in sharp bursts now blocking her vision and making her sway. 

“Yes it is.” Before she knew what she was doing she ran out of the room and into the kitchen. She slid one of the drawers open and grabbed a knife she knew had been there. Behind her Jake and the woman followed. Maybe they thought she ran out of the building but she hadn’t. When they turned the corner they saw her standing in the kitchen knife in hand. Jake gasped and raised his hands. 

“Anna I know you're upset but please put the knife down.” He went to stand in front of the woman. He was protecting her. After all that had happened he would protect her? This was the straw that broke that stupid camels back. 

“Three years Jake! Three years I’ve wasted on you when you were cheating on me.” She heard her own voice but it sounded far away. Despite the anger she felt her voice was strangely calm. Jake seemed to have noticed this because he took a step forward reaching for the knife. 

“I know. I’m sorry I should've told you. But I was afraid.” The woman behind him looked to the door and ran to it. Ana turned to her and ran after her holding the knife ready. Ana caught the woman before she made it to the door, plunging the knife into her back. The woman let out a scream of pain. Ana laughed maniacally. Ana stood up and looked Jake dead in the eyes. And softly smiled but under her eyes her insanity lingered. He ran back to the room and Ana chased him. When she got to the room she slammed the door shut letting darkness fill the room. She saw him fumbling for his phone sitting on the dresser next to the bed. She slowly walked to him, blood dripping from the knife to the floor leaving a trail of blood. 

“You know we could've had a life together.” She looked at the knife. A wide smile split across her face. She covered her face with her other hand and laughed. The same laugh as just a few moments ago. She could see the fear on Jake's face. 

“Please. I know I screwed up. I don't think I deserve to die for it though.” He said in a voice wracked with fear and grief. 

“Oh really?” She looked at him. “You may not think so but I do.” 

Ana opened her eyes to find herself sitting on Jake’s bed. Her head was pounding and with a wince she rubbed her temples. She saw her dress and gasped. It was a mess.

“Seriously? This is my favorite dress.” She murmured to herself. It was gonna take her forever to get the stains out. If she was even able to. What's even on it? She tried to remember back. She remembered opening the door to Jake’s room and saw him having fun with that woman. She remembered asking him those questions. Then after that nothing. She stood up and stumbled out of the room, not seeing the mess of blood and limbs behind her. She walked into the kitchen and saw her purse thrown on the floor. She picked it up and turned, seeing the mangled body by the door. She gasped and jumped back. In a rush she remembered what happened. As she ran back to the room praying what she remembered wasn't true. She opened the door and saw the mess on the floor. She sobbed. What have I done? She saw the knife covered in blood on the ground. She picked it up and thought about plunging the knife into her own body. What did she have to live for? She was going to go to jail. She drove the knife into her midsection and slowly dropped to the floor.  As she perished she thought about what she had done. She now felt the pain of losing him, and understanding of her pain.