A Butchered Halloween

“Mommy, mommy, come here! The old lady will give us lots of candy if we go! Come on!”

Kids… They’re everywhere. I love kids. They’re cute. So were my daughters. After I got rid of my “habit” I used to have only on Halloween I wanted to go out Trick-or-Treating too. I wanted to be supervised by my wife. The love of my life. But I couldn’t allow anything to go out of my hands. I couldn’t risk anything.

It’s all my fault… I should have protected them! I was the man of the family. My wife was as strong as me and yet… she still died. It should have been me! My love… The man we considered ‘friend’ took them from me! He killed them! And I couldn’t do anything! He gathered up his strength. He became more and more powerful while I was getting more and more comfortable with the idea that it was peace between us. I let my guard down

“Hi daddy!” my daughter would say every Halloween, shy. “you know what happens tonight,right?”

“You go trick-or-treating, yes, I know.” I would answer.

“But do you know what would be great?” I remember her sweet voice perfectly. She would always come up to me with the same request… every Halloween. They both were very shy, but knew how to ask for things they want in the most adorable and shy way. She began playing with her hair and lowered her voice, the floor suddenly being attractive as she was staring at it. Her sister was behind her, quiet and full of emotions and hope.

I was never like that. I was always more… cheeky and obtrusive. I would always ask my family for things in a more arrogant way, somehow demanding but still asking for permission. Same with my wife, until a certain age. She became more shy as she was getting older.

My daughters had a perfect life… almost. I was trying my best to be the father I never had, to be there when they needed me and to provide them everything they needed.

But when they needed me the most… I disappointed them in the most terrible way possible! Such a father, huh…

“Will you go trick-or-treating with us and mommy, pretty please? We will do anything!”

“You know I can’t, sweetheart...”

“Please!” they both asked me in the same time. I could never resist their puppy eyes and kitty voices, but when it came to this night… what if I went back to that? What if I went back to being a murderer? What if I lost control and killed them? I could not take that risk.

“The doctors say you are getting better.”My wife came up.

“I know, but I have a bad feeling something bad will happen and I cannot risk letting it happen because of me. You are strong enough. You can protect them. If anything happens and you need me,you know the procedure.”

My daughter always got sad every time I refused, but they got over it and were happy because I used to let them tell me every detail of the night, making me feel as if I were there with them. It filled my heart with happiness having so much trust and such a good connection with them.

I should have gone. I should have gone. I should have been there for them!!

That… horrible person took them when they were most vulnerable! Just like I did with my victims…

So… I got back to my ‘addiction’. Murder… I promised myself and to the love of my life that I would never go back to that. It was so hard getting rid of my tendency to attack people, especially when they would hurt my family. I needed all their support and love… Now… I lost it. I lost them… It’s all my fault…

I will disappoint them, but I need to take my anger out on something.

I was hiding behind a tree, perfectly still, holding my knife in my hand and watching everyone from the darkness. I was never so… emotive when I was getting ready to kill someone. I’ve never had any hesitation. But this time was different.

I’ve never killed a kid. I never could and I never will be capable of doing such thing. When I lost my biological father, it destroyed our family. That is why I want to make sure that the people I kill do not have kids. I may be a murderer and a horrible person, but nobody knows what I’ve been through, what I am aiming for and how much I make sure I don’t ruin family with kids. Nobody knows and nobody cares. We have feelings too. We… the murderers, the people who either kill for pleasure, or to restrain their demons and pain.

“Hush, be quiet! Someone might hear us!” a man whispered as a girl kept giggling.

“I know… but come on, where’s the fun?” she said,laughing in a low tone.

They were drunk. They started kissing. I used to hate seeing such things. I wouldn’t like it in the beginning when my wife was kissing me. It felt good, but I had seen too many scenarios to like it mentally. It felt good, but I did not want it to. After some time had passed, I began liking it too. She opened my mind. She opened my soul. She made me say things to her I never would have been able to tell someone else. I miss her. It’s all my fault! If she were here, she would tell me that it’s not true. But she’s not… she’s dead! Because of me…

But I see her. I see her in front of me. She is looking at me with tears in her eyes and pain in her heart, dressed in a long, white dress, holding her hands tightly around her chest. Her lovely figure that I used to admire every time I got the chance was glowing, standing out from anyone else.

“You went out to search for us again? We died six hours ago, my love. It’s time to stop. We cannot come back to life. It’s too late.”

No.

“You saw our bodies, sweetheart. He killed us. Why didn’t you save us? Why weren’t you there when we needed you? We told you to come with us and you refused!” she began yelling. She never yelled. It’s not true! She would never yell like that and she would never say such things! It’s happening again! I miss her, but I cannot go back to that stage again! I promised her I would try my best not to, no matter what! I cannot disappoint her again!

“My love… We miss you… You cannot disappoint us anymore… Will you join us?”

Yes. I want to join you. I want to be with you again! Can you hear me?

“Yes, my love. I can hear your thoughts. Brilliant minds think the same, remember?” You always said that. “I knew you would remember. Now… before you can join us, you need to pay your debt for us. But you need to hurry. Can you join us in a better place? We do not want to leave you.” her voice is psychotic. I feel manipulated. But it does not matter. I’m with her again. And I want to be with her.

“If you want to be with us too… you need to finish the mission you first started after our deaths. Kill again.” her voice was sweet the whole time she talked, but then her voice changed in a deep… demonic way. I would only hear that voice when she was sad or hurt.

“I’m both. But I want you with us. We can still forgive you. Kill them.”

You’re not real. You’re only in my head! This has happened before. You told me not to let it happen again.

“Do you not love us anymore, my love?” The intensity in her voice… I’ve never heard her speak like that. Her tone kept going from a pole to another. Passion, love, sadness… pain.

“Do it, my love. Do it! Do it for us!We deserve revenge! Nobody helped us when we died! They need to die as well. You are the only one who can help us, my love. Sacrifice them.”

Fine.

She became enthusiastic… and she smiled… but she felt so cold. It was not her usual style.

“I’m dead, after all. Aren’t bodies supposed to be cold?”

Not their souls. “But we’ve been hurt.”

“Hey,man! Are you ok? Stop creeping up behind us, dude! we’re trying to have some fun!” The girl started laughing while hugging her boyfriend. “Go away!”

“They’re making us go away as if it’s their property. Go teach them a lesson, my love.”

As my dead soulmate commanded me, I began walking towards my next victim. They got scared. Good.

“Come on, man!Leave us alone!”

I grabbed a log that was sitting somewhere around, waiting to be picked up and used as a weapon by me.

“Run, baby!” they both started running. I caught the man who was brave enough to face me with such tone and in such situation. Throwing him onto the ground, I began hitting him with the wooden stick as hard as I can, letting all my anger and sadness onto his body. His head is smashed and his chest is mangled. A puddle of blood was created around him, in which I am sitting, I got the last overalls that my soulmate cleaned and liked most dirty. But I am too much into the murder that I forgot about that. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins, I feel drugged. I feel like I started doing some illegal substances again, but they are feelings. Illegal feelings.

The girl began screaming in horror and shock, falling onto the ground as she is watching a man ten times her size murder the love of her life or just a hook-up. A view she was never prepared for. Her high-pitched yelling is making my ears bleed. I have to put an end to that annoying sound.

“Please please please, don’t kill me! You can do anything to me just don’t kill me please! I’m already half naked just do whatever you want to me please just don’t kill me!”

She keeps begging me. She wants me to do things to her that I only did with my wife. I don’t need to do such things anymore. Pathetic. She thinks she can escape just because I can do such things to her? Wrong person… she deserves this. That is her punishment for going out so late on a night in which horror is supposed to take over, doing things she is not supposed to do before marriage with a boy she probably didn’t even completely know.

I’m slowly grabbing my knife out of my pocket, watching my next victim stare terrified at my actions, knowing what is about to come to her.

“She deserves this.”

She deserves this.

“Do it, my love.”

“I’ll do it, my love.”

I begin getting closer to the girl and she tries to crawl away, but I cannot let her escape. She has no idea what she’s doing. She is just desperately trying to save her life and failing miserably. I grab her foot and pull her closer to me, making her vulnerable to anything I might want to do to her.

“No! Please! Someone help!”

No one can help her. I turn her around, so that she can face me, see the monster who started killing again, the monster they thought they escaped from. They think they can kill my new family and escape so easily? I start to hatefully stab her in her chest, right in the heart, as many times as I can until I escape from the trance that the adrenaline from the addiction was giving me.

So that is how is how I tried to kill everyone I caught who was wandering around in the shadows. That is how I release my lesson my lesson, taught in the most brutal way possible. And that is how I ended up here again, in this mental institution with all these new psychologists trying to help me and study me and my mind., speaking with a spirit that once belonged to my beloved wife.

I mangled thirty people that night… I’ll come back.