Sweet Night

I can’t sleep, I finally decided. The clock flashed 1:54 AM in bright neon red letters. 

Sleep is overrated, truth be told. Batman should be enough to show us that, Gotham has no hero if Bruce Wayne gets his 8 hours. When I was smaller and I suppose it may be the same for you, I despised when it was time to go to sleep at night. Staying up to see the after hours specials and graphic cartoons was a coveted treasure for a kid. But I’d venture to say that no one’s disdain for ‘bedtime’ surpassed my own. I didn’t only

feel sleep was overrated, but a waste of precious time. We spend a third of our life sleeping right? And sleep took place during the most mystical time for a kid, night. Night’s not the place of muggings and murders that adults know it as, for kids it the time of the unknown, of ghosts and fairies and monsters. Ironically, I’d fall sleep easily during times when I was bored. night is not one of those times.

I hardly dream as well so I know nothing of that alleged benefit of sleep. Whenever I do dream it’s either a nightmare or so incomprehensible it may as well be.

So it was fine I couldn’t sleep, really. I preferred it actually, nighttime was my favorite time of the day, it’s why I work the night shift. So much so that I went out of my way to make my house night like during the day, it was almost a routine.

Starting from the basement going up to the 2nd floor I’ll start by locking up all the windows and kill the noise pollution from outside. The neighbors all cut their grass on different days of the week and a lawnmower is the loudest fucking thing in the world. Ringing on and on. I hate them so much. I secured black out curtains too, enough for every window in the house. Thick, heavy, velvety ones that feel like bed sheets, it was almost a shame to hang them up but once I draw them not a sunbeam can get in. 

If I really want to go the extra mile for peace I’ll scope out the house one more time and make sure nothing is on, no devices I mean, anything that might make noise. I have a special hatred for the washing machine and dryer. The endless rumbling and beeping.  Plus, the dryer always had to be ran twice if you want dry clothes. So, I get my clothes dry cleaned instead as often as possible. Others in the house still want to wash their clothes so I encourage them to stick to the Saturday or Sunday when I’m typically at work. If I do have be around, I’ll throw on my noise canceling headphones or smoke some weed and watch a loud movie to drown it out.

That all went away at night though. The peace was effortless. Real. Practiced grace isn’t grace, after all and there was no need to emulate the grace of night at night, it just was. There was almost no sound at night it was like a different world. The only sounds that you did hear were the pleasant tunes you hoped you catch like wind, the low buzzing frequency you don’t normally register from your electronics, if you’re real lucky some rain, maybe a cat.

Nothing like the cacophony of midday.

My favorite sound at night is the crackle of the lighter as I spark up. I didn’t like to smoke indoors because of the smell (obviously) and others don’t appreciate the habit. But at night I was free, no one was around to complain, and I could have the windows open for fresh air. Once it hit 2 AM like today and I haven’t fallen asleep yet, I decide to sit up in bed, get my lighter and stash from under my bed and I smoke. I have to get to sleep some way I need to wake up at 6 for some PhD coursework. 

I decide to go for a walk and smoke about half a joint along the way. Not going anywhere in particular I stroll on haphazardly until I see the neon green sign of the 24/7 deli. I nod to the clerk as I breeze by and go grab a bunch of junk; four Twinkies peach apple sauce, a case of beer and a 4 Loko. I hand the guy 20 and take my stuff, speeding off back home like I had committed a crime. I’d already brushed my teeth so I wouldn’t drink or eat I figured I could eat the stuff after work.

That’s another of my favorite things about night, the freedom. Its why criminals love the night too. I’d never smoke during the daytime. No one to judge at night.

After I finish up a joint or two, letting ash fall into this skull I bought from a bone shop (yes, they exist) I had to say I was an anatomy professor to buy it though. It’s what I’d want my skull used for. Anyways I empty and wash it when I’m done and say a little prayer not specific to any religion.

I take a hot (heat stimulates the blood flow and gets you higher) long shower to get rid of the smell, no one knocks on the door, no one is awake.

I dry off and moisturize my body and take note of any imperfections or scars or acne and think about where another tattoo would fit best aesthetically and wonder if I should work out more. Then check for anything I should tell my doctor on my next visit.

For the nail in the coffin, I read a chapter of a book, any book it doesn’t matter. If I’m already up may as well catch up on my reading. This usually puts me down for the count I don’t know what I’d do if this all failed.

I put my book away, lay down, and finally I can sleep.