Raven's Flight

~ Raven ~

"Are you coming tonight?"

Mikah's face is looming over me. Questioning glance, a little playful, but I can make out the underlying sorrow in her warm brown eyes. My breath hitches. Hard swallow. Slow rising of panic. Searching for escape routes. Mikah's standing in front of the only door. 

"Dammit!", I whisper under my breath. 

"Is that a yes?"

"You know it's not.", I think. 

I try to shake my head but it hurts too much. I see a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. Why hope? As if their evening would go better with me present. I always manage to kill the mood. Why even bother inviting me? I crawl back under my covers and hope to never be asked anything again.

"Just leave", I think. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Mikah looks at me as if she can hear me. I see a pain in her eyes but also a glimpse of understanding.

"I'm sorry, Raven.", I hear her whisper. Her voice is so quiet that I barely catch it. I get the urge to cuddle her. She seems lost.

I don't know what she expected though. It's not as if I could suddenly, just over night, muster the energy to get out of bed and into the world. I've kinda forgotten what that's like. Being out there. Friends. Talking, having fun, just living your life.

It's been so long.

~ Mikah ~

"So did you manage to convince them?", Ruben asks. He's chewing on his annoying gum, as always. Occasionally spitting on the ground. I shoot him a disapproving glare.

"What do you think?", I ask back.

An awkward silence ensues and everyone seems to be avoiding to look at me. 

Except Maisie. Probably the only one who cares about Raven as much as me. Even now, when Raven will only ever accept visits from me. Her curls fly around as she bows to come closer to my ears and whispers:

"So, how is Raven doing? Better? Worse? Same same?"

"Same as always. Maybe a little worse."

She nods sadly.

"They're not even leaving their home anymore, I think. Maybe not even their room. I think their anxiety is getting worse.", I add.

"What about the parents? Any progress?"

"Still not even able to admit that their child needs therapy."

Maisie lets out a low growl. "I wish I could end them."

"Duuude..."

"No, for real. How long until they realise that this problem's to big for them? Months? Years? Decades? This has been going on for too long, dammit. We need to do something, Mikah. Fast."

"Maisie"

Her eyes soften and she looks at me.

"Yes?"

"You know I've been trying my best here. But I don't know what to do. The Raven we know is gone. This accident has changed them. More than just physically. I don't know if it's the trauma or brain damage or just the fact that they couldn't leave the hospital for months. But there is something seriously wrong and I am so sick of people not believing me. Raven was never an introvert. And even if, that wouldn't explain this extreme anxiety. Why won't they believe me? I just-"

I feel the tears coming, first my eyes get wet and I think I might just be able to hold it in but it's been a rough past few weeks and it's just too much. I begin to full on sob as Maisie just silently holds me in her arms.

~ Michelle and José, Ravens parents ~

"Is that girl finally gone?"

"Seems like it, yes."

"Good, she really gets on my nerves, José."

"I know, my dear, I know."

"They just want to party. Can't they see that Raven is sick?"

"I'm sure they don't mean it that way."

"That doesn't change that my child is far too sick to go out!"

"But darling, the doctor said that-"

"I don't care what the doctor says. It is my child and I can feel when something is wrong! It's too early, José, can't you see that?"

"But maybe she is right and some distraction would do our child good."

"I cannot believe you are taking her side now! José, our child is sick. And so fragile. It won't do anything good. They just might get hurt again. Have you forgotten how it all started?"

"I know, darling, I know."

"I... I'm just so afraid that it will happen again, you know?"

"Hey, hey, come here. It will be alright, my sweetie, it will be all alright."

~ Raven ~

I hear mum crying. Again. It happens almost every evening now. She is so worried. Mikah is also so worried. But all for different reasons. I'm not fragile though. Not weak. I can be strong. I'm just... so tired. All those weeks of spending inside. And those nightmares. Every night I see it all happen again. And again. And again. I just can't stand it anymore.

Maybe Mikah's right. Maybe I do need a change of scenery. And for sure I need some kind of therapy. My heart racing with the slightest thought of seeing all those people again that were with me that night. The sleepless nights. The sleepful and thus even more horrible nights. The countless worried faces. I need to get out of here. Out of my miserable brain, out of this memory loop, out of the loving but slowly suffocating care of my parents. Just out. I feel for my phone. I grab it. I search for Mikah's number. I click on the call button. It rings.

"Raven?" Mikah sounds like she just cried a lot. I hear Maisie in the background, just murmuring soft words. And the voices of my friends in the background, carelessly chatting. I've missed them so much.

"I'm coming tonight.", I say. Confidently. At least I hope so. I want to do it. I want to be strong and to be free. I finally want to recover.

I hear Mikah squeaking with joy. And I know I won't regret this.