Drafting Love

“Breaking news tonight, after weeks of deliberation the government has decided to start a military draft.  This would include any male over the age of 21 but under the age of 45 that can pass the test.  This decision was made in light of the recent events in Europe, the current war has escalated and more and more troops are being deployed.  The number of casualties our troops are seeing is growing more and more each week that the number of enlisted men cannot fill in the boots for those that have been lost alone.  Official letters will be going to the men included in the first round draft later this week.  These letters will include when, and where they are to report.  In other local news…”

Silence enveloped us in our tiny home other than the sound of the TV and our two labs eating their dinner. I had just about dropped my plate as I listened to the locally famous woman on the TV.  I zoned her out as she continued to talk about a local dog running off some robbers. I looked over at my husband, I could feel the tears threatening to flow from my eyes.  I saw he was looking over at me with the same shock in his eyes.  His chair was perpendicular and to the right to the couch I was sitting on.  I was at the end furthest from him. I was not even 10 feet away but I felt miles away.  

“Tony I..” I couldn’t say anything more than that before a tear fell from my eye. 

He stood up placing his plate on the seat of his chair to walk over to me.  He sat on the couch next to me wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close. 

“I may not even get drafted.  There are so many men in this country.”  I rested my head on his chest. “We don’t need to worry until we need to, Emilia.” I nodded against his chest before closing my eyes.  We’ve only been married for three years after many years of being together.  We just moved into our newly bought three bedroom house and after a few months of unpacking it was finally feeling like home. We were also going to start going to the clinic for fertility treatments.  We had been trying for almost two years with no luck. This could derail all of that, let alone take him from me.

“Duncan no! You had your dinner.” I opened my eyes as Tony got up from the couch to get his plate of food from our youngest lab Duncan. I laughed a little as I watched the scene before me but I couldn’t put the draft out of my mind. 

------

The draft was first announced on Tuesday night, by Friday night a letter for Tony hadn’t come.  I was feeling better about him not being drafted when I went to bed with my husband and my dogs by my side.  Saturday morning I awoke to the dogs barking.  I rolled over in our king sized bed to face Tony’s side and saw that it was empty making me look at the clock, it was 9 am.  I stretched under the blanket mentally thanking him for letting me sleep.  I stepped out of bed onto our hardwood floor slipping on my slippers and a sweater over my night shirt and pants. 

Just as I had my hand on the door knob I heard talking coming from the direction of the kitchen.  I couldn’t make out what was being said, I could just hear whispering.  One voice was definitely Tony, while the other I couldn’t make out.  I walked out of our room pushing through the two labs jumping around for attention from their newly awoken owner.  I walked into the kitchen to see Tony and his parents, all three sitting at the table.  I smiled at them as I walked in wishing them all a good morning, I loved Tony’s parents.  They were the only ones I had after mine had passed away in a car crash. 

My smile didn’t last too long when all three of them looked at me with the most sullen faces.  I looked down at the table top and saw the papers that Tony had in his hands.  My eyes flicked between the papers and Tony’s face a few times before they stayed on the papers.  I took another step forward to the table and picked them up. 

Big and in the middle was the presidential seal with ORDER TO REPORT FOR INDUCTION written under it.  The paper in my hands started to shake and the words got blurry as I read on. .  I looked up at Tony then it was like everything was in slow motion. He stood up and grabbed me, wrapping his arms tight around mine.  As I fell to the floor he fell with me.  I crumpled the paper in my hands as the tears silently fell on my cheeks.  Aware of the fact that both of their owners were now on the floor, both dogs came rushing over tails wagging to assault us with licks, unaware of the tragedy that was playing out.  I felt him smooth out and kiss my hair whispering that everything would be okay.  

We sat there long enough for Duncan and Cleo to lose interest in us. That was when his mother brought me a glass of water.  Tony forced me to sit up and take a drink of the water. 

“Emilia, are you okay?” I saw the softness in her eyes, but I also saw the red rim around them too.  

I nodded my head yes as I took her hand to stand up.  Tony stood behind me and for the first time I saw the scared looks on their faces, including his.  I took a seat at the table to read the paper again.  It didn’t have our updated address on it, it had his parents’ from when we lived with them. We sat at the table not saying anything. Tony was on my right, he grabbed my hand as I looked over the paper.  It had Tony’s full name with the place he was supposed to go and when.  

“Three weeks.”  I looked up at him as he squeezed my hand.  “We have three weeks together before you’re sent off for training.” 

Tony nodded and pushed another paper towards me.  “They’re sending me for training related to my degree.” I almost laughed at that.  Tony has a degree in computer sciences but he never found a job in our rural area so he was an operator with the local construction company.  “I have to meet with my superior next Wednesday to go over all of that.” 

“I’ll have to cancel the appointment at the clinic.  I should text Raelynn that you won’t be….” I let my words trail off as I thought of all the things that would need to be done before that happened. 

I looked down at the table tracing the wood grain with my eyes as I thought.  I felt my other hand be pulled to him.  I looked at our joined hands then at his face.  He was scared but he was pushing it aside for me.  “It’ll be okay Emilia.  It’ll be fine.”

------

A week had passed since Tony received his draft letter.  When I was with him time seemed to fly by.  When he was gone it seemed to make time drag.  If that was how it was going to be with him gone I wasn’t sure I was going to make it while he was gone.  My only saving grace was that I had the week before he left off work to spend it all with him.  

I paused as I was gathering the picnic items to glance out the sliding glass doors in the kitchen to see Tony grilling on the flat top with his best friend Jon.  They were laughing about something as Jon’s two girls ran around the back yard with our labs running after them.  Jon’s wife, Alana, walked in the door to help me with the same look on her face that I’ve bore all week.  Jon was also sent a draft letter, he left after Tony to a different branch. 

Alana and I worked together and were good friends.  We were getting closer now that we were both in the same boat.  Though she had something I didn’t to fuss over and make the time go faster, their girls. We both forced smiles at each other as she came in and grabbed the lemonade.  We walked out together to the picnic table.  Alana called the girls over as I put out the table cloth.  

We decided that we should all get together as much as possible the next few weeks before the men left.  I would help Alana out with the girls and see her often but we both knew it would take some time getting into a new routine. A sense of normalcy was nice even if it was only temporary. 

When the girls didn’t come after the third time being called, Alana pushed herself off of the bench with a sigh, “I swear these two will be the death of me when he leaves.” With that she walked off around the side of the house where you could hear the giggling and the barking. 

I watched her go with a slight smile then just listened to the nature around me.  I love our little country yard.  Then I heard what the guys were talking about. 

“What did your guy tell you Tone?”

I heard my husband sigh followed by the sizzle of a burger being flipped.  “Well after he sworn me in, he apologized for having to take me this soon in our marriage.  He told me my pay.” I heard him pause then he lowered his voice.  “Emilia doesn’t know it but I’m not going to be as off the front as we thought. I don’t know how to tell Emilia.  She’s already freaking out about being alone.  How do you think she would be if she knew I was going to be a tech at the front lines.” That was the last that I heard as Alana came back with the girls.

------

That night after saying goodbye to our friends we were crawling into bed talking about things that would need done after he left.  “You’ll want me to drive your truck once a week?” 

“Yes please.  You don’t have to drive it to work.  Around the block is fine.” we were both on the bed when he confronted me, “You heard what I told Jon didn’t you?” 

I sat propped against the headboard as he laid down beside me, I flattened the blanket out on my lap before looking at him.  He was looking up at me from his pillow as I looked at him. 

“I heard a little. All the stuff I already knew.” I lied and I could see the relief come over his face. I scooted myself down to fit in the crook of his arm to put my head on his chest.  He pulled me in close and held me for a little bit before he put his other fingers under my chin forcing my face up to face him giving me a kiss.  It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen and continue until we went about as far as it could. 

------

The next two weeks flew by, and before I knew it was standing on the tarmac with tears streaming down my face as I watched him walk away from me in his new uniform. It really hit me as I drove his truck home to park it in the garage.  I watched the cherry red truck disappear as the garage door closed on it.  Next time it will be driven by its owner that babied it unknown.  I walked into the now emptier home and sat in the middle of the couch.  Both Labs crawled up onto my lap from either side and laid on my lap as I cried into their fur.  

------

I counted the moments until he called and we could talk to each other.  Each night for two months he called about the same time every night.  I didn’t go out with friends or go to work events for fear of missing the phone call or not having enough service to answer the call. I would have Alana over with the girls or Tony’s parents whenever I could so I wasn’t always so alone.   They would all talk to Tony as well when he would call.  

One Thursday after a day at home sick from work, the phone rang like any other night at the same time. I groagly answered the phone with a hello, trying to sound upbeat for him. 

“Emilia, are you okay?” The other end was crackling, like he was further away than normal.

“I’m fine Tony, just a little under the weather.  Why do you sound different?” 

There was a long pause before he answered, “I’m being shipped out.” I sat straight up causing the dogs to be put on alert. “I leave tonight, in a matter of moments actually I’m calling from the hanger. I won’t be able to call for a while.” I put my hand over my mouth to fight back the sobs and the feeling to throw up. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.  I didn’t want you to worry.” 

I choked down the bile before answering, “Just… Just come home to me okay?” 

“You know I’ll do my best. I have to go.  I love you Emilia.” 

“I love you.” With the final I love you we both hung up.  I stared at the screen of my phone for a few moments before jumping up to go throw up the dogs following my every move. 

------

Two weeks and I hadn’t heard anything from him.  For two weeks I watched the news relentlessly, becoming a hermit. The only time I went out was when I went to work or like at this moment where I was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting room.  My illness from the night he was being shipped out hadn’t gone away.  I decided that it was best that I get checked out.  I checked the time on my phone again, trying to ignore the background picture of us walking the dogs.  The doctor told me to wait out here while he rushed a test.  

Just when I was about to ask the receptionists the nurse called me back.  She took me to another room than what I was used to.  

I sat in the chair beside a bed and a weird machine with a computer screen on it.  The doctor came in with a big smile on his face. 

“Well I’ve found the source of your illness.” He shut the door behind him delivering the news. 

------

I had parked my car in my normal spot at the house.  I sat in the driver seat feeling a little numb, but joyous all at the same time. I pulled the ultrasound pictures out of my purse and looked at the 12 week jelly bean that was making me sick. After two years of trying, two years of doing all of the pills and tests all it took was for the possibility of Tony not coming home to get pregnant. I took a deep breath, how do I get word to him?

I put the pictures in my purse and climbed out of the car, first thing was first.  Telling his mom.  I was almost to the house when a large black SUV came around the corner of the house. I stopped in my tracks watching the two men in the SUV get out.  Both men were dressed as Tony was on the day that he left.  The driver stood by his door after closing it with his hands behind his back.  The passenger after closing his door walked over to me. 

“Are you, Mrs. Emilia Bensen?” 

“I am.” I played with the keys in my hand as he spoke.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” 

I looked to the house then back to the men, “uh. Sure but can we talk inside?  I need to let the dogs out.”

The man agreed and followed me into the house.  I put my purse on the table to catch Cleo who doesn’t stay in a crate during the day.  I pulled her to Duncan’s grate and let him out before letting them both outside.  

When I turned around to come back into the kitchen with the officer I saw him holding my purse in one hand and the ultrasound pictures in the other.  

“Mrs. Bensen, I am so sorry to tell you this.” I instinctively put my hands on my stomach as he spoke. “Tony had stopped to aid some children that asked for his help.  The other men in his unit said he didn’t even think about helping them.  Then there was a firefight and unfortunately didn’t make it out.”  I didn’t hear a word he said after that.  I could hear him talking but I didn’t hear the actual words. When he stopped talking he reached out a hand that seemed to be meant to steady me.  As soon as he did, I fell to my knees and screamed.  A scream so primal I thought one of the dogs had gotten hurt, until I realized it was me.  

I felt arms on me but nothing could console the fact that a casual act of kindness by my husband in a place he shouldn’t have been has taken him away from our future child.