It was a going to be a long day

Submitted into Contest #138 in response to: End your story with someone saying: “What a day.”... view prompt

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Drama Crime Creative Nonfiction

It was a long day already but the day wasn't over not by a long shot. There was just so many things that happened so I am not sure where to begin.

Firstly I woke up at three o'clock in the morning as my cat Hokey Pokey decided that he would jump on the ledge behind me and scare me chasing a mouse, which scared me more than the cat jumping on the ledge. Then at five o'clock my water hose in my bathroom decided that it would break and there was water everywhere.

I finally got up turned the water off and went back to bed, I thought to myself I will deal with this in the morning. I decided to go to the toilet didn't I, forgot the water was off. So off I went downstairs outside filled up a bucket of water at the local tap, came back upstairs and tipped some water in the toilet so I could just flush the toilet. It was incredible and then all of a sudden I am looking at a clock next to me reading six o'clock in the morning.

I had to be up by seven o'clock, as I had my job to go to. What do I do for work, well I am a boring library assistant been doing it now just gone ten years, and why do I say it's boring because I do the same thing day in and day out. People bring books in and take books out, I help them with finding books and also we have a big range of D.V.D's and C.D's but I have been with the same people and it doesn't change a lot. 

Then I come home to a cat who get's into trouble because I live in a high rise unit he can't go outside. My best friend Morgan named him Hokey Pokey as he as some black spots around his nose. When he was a kitten he would put his paw on me so my friend and I used to do the Hokey Pokey as a kid so what a good name Morgan picked. 

Well I turned up to work like clock work, Jacinta was putting the books back that people borrowed and Bruce was checking overdue books and trying to fix the computer as it wasn't working. 

I had to go to the bank that morning to deposit a check for my mother before work so I went across the road to the bank at about ten o'clock I told Bruce I wouldn't be long. As I walked across the road, nearly getting hit by a truck the lady at the bank come out the front and said the ATM was not working but I was alright with that as I had to enter the bank. There was five people already in front of me and I was thinking to myself 'oh here we go it's going to be one of those weeks'. The lady at the bank is nice her name is Grace and she has been at the bank I think as long as I have been at the library. Grace sometimes comes into the library with her two beautiful kids who are only four and two, very cute boy and girl. The first lady at the counter was Beverly and she always took her time she was about eighty years old, lovely old lady but she always wants her cash in twenties and tens. It was good that she left pretty quick today she must have been doing a small transaction. The line then moved very quick and I thought good I can get back to work quickly. 

All of a sudden it was like in the blink of an eye I heard someone shouting 'All get down, no one moves or else you will die'.

I laid down very quickly and so did the rest of the people in front of me. I laid still and I could see from a glance that a man dressed in blue jeans, grey dirty t-shirt, a black balaclava on his face walked in a with a gun. He would have been about late thirties and walked straight up to the counter with the gun demanded cash and told all the staff just not Grace who was serving him to fill the bag. Grace told him that she didn't have any access to the safe out the back and that the money she was going to give him was all the money that they had. The safe had time locks and that big management had to be called to come and open it. The man clicked over his gun and shot one in the air just demanding the money to be put in the bag and everyone's phone, watches, rings as well. 

I was still laying on the ground and the lady in front of me started crying, I just want to go home, I just came into the bank to get twenty dollars out so I could buy my son a new pencil case for school. The man started yelling and telling her to shut up and be quiet. I tried to comfort her saying that it would all be over soon and that we will all go home safe. 

The man heard me and told me to stand up. I did and I was very scared I thought that because I talked he was going to shoot me. His face all dirty yelled at me and told me to stand next to him while he got the money. All of a sudden I was in a lot of trouble. Maybe now he was going to use me as bait to get out of the bank and that is just what he did. 

I walked out the bank with him, got into a black car and next minute I knew I was tied in the back with rope and him and his get away mates were in the car, laughing about the money they took and everyone's phones people in the bank gave up. 

He asked me my name, my address, if I was married, single and my age. His mates told him to let me go we don't need her, but this man they called Siik said No, we need her. I heard the police cars all over with sirens and I told him he was never going to get away with this. Siik kept fighting and arguing with the man in the front seat about the money they took and how much they were going to share among the three of them. 

As they kept fighting the man in the front driving the car wasn't looking at the road and that there was water coming up and if he didn't turn the corner as he was fighting with Siik we would all be drowned rats. Siik kept fighting and all of a sudden the car went off and there we were submerged in the cold water. The car was suddenly filling up with water and no one could get out. Siik tried to punch the windows and his other mates did too but it was too late, the car was sinking fast. I couldn't do anything and I was just screaming. My hands were still behind my back and Siik didn't care about me only himself. All he cared about was the money but the money wasn't going to do anything for him now. It couldn't save him. It couldn't save anyone now we were all going to die. 

All of sudden I had woken up and the alarm had just gone off as I said I set it to seven o'clock that morning. It had all been a bad dream. I got up out of bed and sat at my kitchen table having a coffee. I got dressed and went to the library where I had been working there for over ten years. I don't want to change my life or call it a boring job. I sat there at work glancing over books laughing to myself and telling myself all day WHAT A DAY !! 

March 22, 2022 04:26

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2 comments

Felice Noelle
13:05 Mar 31, 2022

Sarah: Welcome from your friendly reader from the Critique Circle. Since I am also a newbie here, I will share with you some of the ideas other writers, far more experienced and talented than myself, have shared with me. I think you wanted to portray a busy, frazzled, overcome day and I get that. But consider less telling and more showing. Maybe choose a certain number of scenes and elaborate on each, filling in with a lot of detail. Edit, edit, edit.....combine sentences. Some writers write from the ending and then the beginning and th...

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Sarah Brand
06:49 Apr 03, 2022

Thanks very much for the feedback I write this story in just one hour, didn't really have time to edit, I need to make time. ..Yes I know. I have a active social life, looking for work, writing at the moment comes second, but I have just joined a local writing group so hopefully I can get some more input into my writing, Thank you once again for helping me.

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